help we give you with the Coca-Cola pitch? It is a very popular drink here in icy cold Finland, especially with our many ‘groovy’ young folk. As fellow CEO, I am asking my red-hot creativity department to have lots of brilliant ideas for you.
While I am on cyberspacenet, can please you get me tickets for Great Balls of Grease? Mrs van Helden and my good self will be visiting in London at 12 February. We will be packing our crampons.
Your pal, Pertti
David Crutton – 3/1/00, 8.49am
to… Fiona Craigie
cc…
re… your fat butt
Get your fucking nose out of Ms London and explain why, despite your best efforts, my last e-mail went to that pathetic twat, van Helden. And get me two tickets for Great Balls of Fire or Grease on 12 Feb. I don’t think the gobshite Finn knows the difference.
Daniel Westbrooke – 3/1/00, 9.17am
to… All Departments
cc…
re… a new face
I would like you all to join me in welcoming Katie Philpott, who joins us today as a trainee account executive. Katie will be working in Harriet Greenbaum’s group on Mako. She will add her spark and vivacity to an already lively team. Please give her the warmest of Miller Shanks welcomes.
Daniel Westbrooke
Head of Client Services
Rachel Stevenson – 3/1/00, 10.10am
to… All Departments
cc…
re… changes
Sadly, Fiona Craigie has decided to leave us and is no longer David Crutton’s PA. I am sure you will join me in wishing her well for the future. Lorraine Pallister will be temping until a permanent replacement arrives. Please make her welcome.
Rachel Stevenson
Personnel
Simon Horne – 3/1/00, 10.14am
to… Creative Department
cc… David Crutton; Daniel Westbrooke
re… arses in gear
You will need no reminding of the Coke pitch. This is the big one.
Excalibur.
The Holy Grail.
Eldorado.
The Most Famous Brand in the World.
David Crutton and Dan Westbrooke will brief us at noon in the boardroom.
Be keen.
Be sharp.
Be clever.
Above all, be there.
Si
Daniel Westbrooke – 3/1/00, 10.18am
to… Simon Horne
cc…
re… arses in gear
Simon, I know this might be a silly little thing, so excuse my pedantry. I do not mind you calling me Dan in private, but to the great unwashed, please refer to me as Daniel. The diminutive sounds far too familiar and, as Head of Client Services, I find it pays to remain a little aloof from the rabble! See you at 12.00.
Daniel Westbrooke – 3/1/00, 10.22am
to… James Gregory
cc…
re… Katie Philpott
James, my duties as Head of Client Services mean that I am far too busy to bestow upon young Katie my traditional welcome of tea and muffins. Since you are the account manager with whom she will be working most closely, may I request that you take her under your wing and make sure that she is familiar with our ways? Suffice it to say that I would not wish a repeat of what happened with the last trainee.
Simon Horne – 3/1/00, 10.30am
to… Susi Judge-Davis
cc…
re… Coke
Susi, darling, be an absolute treasure and make sure all the creative teams are aware of the Coke briefing at 12.00. And get me a pot of decaffeinated and some of those itty-bitty cinnamon biscuits they have in the kitchen.
Susi Judge-Davis – 3/1/00, 10.31am
to… Simon Horne
cc…
re… Coke
Doing it right now, darling … Sx
3/1/00, 10.32am (12.32pm local)
cc…
re… your butt
We are loving your ironicalism. ‘Pathetic twat, van Helden’! There is nothing to beat English humours. Robin’s Nest, Love Thy Neighbour, Are You Being Severed?. We see them all on Satellite Golden Hits Station. However, we are not comprehending ‘gobshite’. It is in not one of our excellent dictionaries.
‘I’m free!’ – Pertti
Daniel Westbrooke – 3/1/00, 10.35am
to… Katie Philpott
cc…
re… bienvenue
Katie, profound apologies that I will be unable to sit down with you this morning. You have joined our happy family at the busiest time and I find myself caught up in getting the Coke pitch off to a roaring start. I am sure that you must feel a little dazzled by the glamour of it all, but you will find your feet in no time. I have attached a crib sheet that sets out the key roles in our agency. Previous neophytes have found it to be indispensable.
