vodka. It was too early in the morning to even think about alcohol, let alone smell the remains of someone’s leftovers. Someone was curled up in a sleeping bag under the dining room table. Someone rolled over and sat up. Oh my God, Troy. What was he still doing there?
‘Well, hi there, sexy,’ said Troy. ‘Why don’t you come and snuggle down with me?’
‘I don’t think that’s a good idea,’ said Kezzie.
‘You seemed so keen last night.’ Troy actually winked at her. Kezzie felt like she wanted to throw up.
‘Last night should never have happened,’ said Kezzie firmly, wishing she knew exactly what had happened.
‘And you and me were so good together,’ said Troy.
‘Oh my God we didn’t?’ Kezzie swallowed. She hadn’t felt so mortified since her student days, when she’d woken up after an all nighter next to the right-wing president of the Student Conservative Society.
‘No,’ admitted Troy, ‘sadly not. But not from want of trying. You know it’s not very good for a guy’s ego when his latest conquest collapses in a drunken heap on the bed.’
‘Sorry,’ said Kezzie, awkwardly. ‘Actually, what do I mean? I’m not sorry. I didn’t mean to lead you on. I was drunk and I was stoned. Under normal circumstances I wouldn’t have touched you with a bargepole.’
‘That’s flattering,’ said Troy.
‘But true,’ said Kezzie. ‘You. Me. It’s a car crash waiting to happen. But if it makes you feel better, it’s not you, it’s me.’
‘It never is,’ said Troy.
‘In this case, it really is,’ said Kezzie. ‘I’m not over my ex, and I’m a complete mess relationship-wise. You really would be better off without me.’
‘It’s OK,’ said Troy. ‘Spare me the remorse. I’m not that into you.’
Now it was her turn to feel deflated, and more embarrassed than she thought it was possible to be, Kezzie escaped into the kitchen to make herself a cup of tea.
‘Hair of the dog?’ Gavin emerged from the lounge where he and Flick had kipped.
‘I think I might just throw up,’ said Kezzie.
‘What you need is a nice fry-up and some fresh air,’ announced Flick, who had followed him out, looking disgustingly chipper. ‘Is there are a decent café round here?’
‘There’s a good one on the High Street,’ said Kezzie. ‘Anything’s got to be better than clearing up this mess.’ She could almost hear Richard tut under his breath, and say You’ll only have to do it later.
‘Bugger off out of my head, Richard,’ she muttered. ‘It’s my life, not yours.’
Joel, too, awoke with a hangover. But unlike Kezzie, he didn’t have the luxury of sleeping it off. He was woken by a screaming Sam at 6 a.m. A late night hadn’t affected his internal alarm clock at all. Reluctantly Joel got himself out of bed, sorted Sam out, and then poured himself a cup of strong, black coffee. It was 7 a.m. and the day stretched ahead of him – one when he was also going to have to drive over to Chiverton to take his mum out for lunch. It was, Joel felt, going to be a very long day.
By nine o’clock, he and Sam were all played out, and Sam was clamouring for the park. So he got the buggy out, strapped Sam into it, and set off down the hill. He paused at the end of Lauren’s road, wondering if she’d welcome him coming round with another apology, and decided that would make matters worse, and more embarrassing all round. He was kicking himself for first, allowing himself to get drunk, and second, letting go of his inhibitions enough for him to have made a complete fool of himself. He was never going to be able to face Lauren again.
At the Memorial Gardens, he found Tom working on the flowerbeds alone. Apparently he was the only one without a hangover, and had got up early to make the most of the day. Sam was happy in his buggy for a bit, so Joel helped Tom start on a bed they hadn’t touched the previous day. Gradually, the others appeared: Flo and June arriving first, laughing raucously at the state of them. ‘You youngsters!’ June said. ‘No staying power.’
‘In our day we’d dance all night and get up and do a day’s work in the factory,’ said Flo. ‘No stamina, this lot.’
Eventually Kezzie appeared looking rather green, followed by Gavin and Flick, who didn’t, and they all started working again in a desultory fashion.
‘Good night?’ grinned Joel, taking the opportunity to down tools and get ready to go to his mum’s.
‘Not really,’ said Kezzie. ‘I drank too much and made a total prat of myself.’
‘Ditto,’ said Joel.
‘Why? What did you do that’s worse than snogging Troy?’ said Kezzie.
‘Bloody hell,’ said Joel, who felt quite shocked. He’d been so sure that Troy was going to make a move on Lauren. What a two-faced bastard he was. ‘How on earth did you let that happen? I didn’t think you were keen on Troy.’
‘I’m not,’ said Kezzie, ‘and I know, I know, Lauren’s my friend, and I should have definitely not gone there. I feel really bad about it. But he does have a certain seedy charm, and he was certainly more appealing through an alcoholic haze. I really am getting too old for this kind of thing. I think I may never drink again.’
‘You’re not the only one,’ said Joel with feeling. He cringed internally as he remembered the look on Lauren’s face.
‘So what did you do then?’ said Kezzie. ‘It can’t be as bad as that.’
Joel sighed. He couldn’t believe how cut up he was feeling about Lauren’s rejection of him, or what a fool he was for recognizing his feelings for her too late.
‘After I left the party I went round to Lauren’s and told her I was jealous of Troy and that I was in love with her,’ said Joel.
‘About time too,’ said Kezzie. ‘You two are made for each other.’
‘Unfortunately, Lauren doesn’t agree with you,’ said Joel, with a grimace.
‘Ah,’ said Kezzie.
‘In fact, she laughed in my face,’ said Joel, with a groan. ‘How humiliating is that?’
‘OK, you win on the humiliation front,’ said Kezzie. ‘How did you leave things?’
‘It is never to be spoken of again,’ said Joel. ‘What about you?’
‘Well, I was incredibly mature and ran out of the house,’ said Kezzie. ‘But basically I’m following the same idea as you.’
‘We’re pathetic,’ said Joel. ‘Lonely Hearts Club, eat your heart out.’
‘Oh well. At least we’re mates,’ said Kezzie. ‘And nothing can go wrong with that.’
Lauren didn’t have a hangover. But she’d
