settled back against the kitchen counter, arms crossed in a casual stance. “Jackson said you and Lucas had words.”
Lainie turned her attention back to the pan of crispy bacon atop the stove, a knot forming in her stomach. Just as she had feared, Jackson had been there long enough to hear at least part of the argument she was having with her son. “I wish you hadn’t sent him here with the key.”
“You’d rather I left you standing outside in the cold?”
She frowned. “No.”
“You told me you wanted to wait until today to surprise Mom and Dad since you arrived early, and because you wanted to give Lucas a chance to settle in after the move. Therefore, my calling them to run over to Bent Creek to bring you their spare key was out of the question. So Jackson was the next-best thing.”
Lainie sighed. “I’m sorry, Justin. I don’t mean to give you a hard time. Especially since you’re doing so much for Lucas and me, allowing us to stay here until we find a place of our own. But things are just...well, they’re awkward between Jackson and myself.” She’d also need to look for a job. While her husband had left them financially secure, she wanted to keep most of that money in the bank for unexpected expenses and for a college fund for her son.
He nodded in understanding. “I’d imagine they would be. You haven’t really seen him or even spoken to him for years. What I don’t understand is why that is.”
Lainie prayed to the Lord for the emotional strength this homecoming was going to require of her. But if it helped her son, she would endure anything that came her way—even her foolish young past where she’d thrown herself, heart included, at Jackson, only to be told he didn’t feel the same way.
“Life changes and so do people,” she explained as she turned to the stove and began plucking the bacon out of the cast-iron frying pan with the tongs. She then placed the crispy strips onto the paper-towel-covered plate she’d put on the counter beside the stove. “Jackson is all about the rodeo,” she went on, praying the hurt she’d tried to keep bottled up where her brother’s best friend was concerned would remain where she’d placed it—buried deep. “And, of course, his family. Just as I’m not the same young girl who left Bent Creek all those years ago. I’ve grown up.” Grown wiser. “The focus in my life is on my family, too, but most especially on my son. And now, more than ever, it needs to stay that way. I can’t afford any distractions.”
“Okay, so if I were to read a little deeper between the lines of that explanation, I think what you’re also saying is that you still haven’t gotten over Jackson,” her brother said, taking Lainie by surprise.
Her head snapped around, her gaze meeting his. “Excuse me?”
Justin grabbed a cup from the kitchen cupboard and poured himself some of the coffee Lainie had made when she’d first awoken that morning. “When you were little,” he said calmly, “you used to adore Jackson, following us around like a pesky shadow. As you got older, I would watch your face light up whenever he came over to visit.”
“He was like my other brother,” she said, realizing as soon as she’d said it that she’d done so a little too defensively. “I was always happy to see you when you came home.”
“Maybe so,” he conceded. “But I never got as many meatballs as you served Jackson with his spaghetti when you helped Mom with dinner. And I might also point out that his garlic bread slices were—”
“All right,” she muttered as she placed the final bacon strip onto the awaiting plate and then turned to face him. “I might have had a small crush on your best friend. But I was young and foolish, and I can guarantee you that I’ll never be that doe-eyed girl again where Jackson Wade is concerned.”
“Never is a very long time,” he pointed out.
“It’s how it has to be.”
“That being the case, do you think you could handle Jackson’s stepping in for me where Lucas is concerned?”
“What are you talking about?”
“I asked Jackson to help you with Lucas until I get this mess at work straightened out.”
“Justin,” she groaned.
“He knows his way around kids,” her brother hastened to explain.
She snorted. “Jackson Wade? The only thing he knows his way around is horses.”
Her brother shook his head. “Not true. He has a niece, who is only a year or so younger than Lucas, and now two nephews, since Autumn recently gave birth, giving Tucker a son.”
“But no children of his own,” she countered.
“Neither do I, but you asked for my help with Lucas.”
“That’s different. And you are every bit as qualified as Jackson is as far as that goes. You have a nephew, too.”
“Lainie,” he said, sounding frustrated, “you know what I mean. However, the point I’m trying to make is that Jackson is a very devoted uncle who puts a good bit of time in with his niece and nephews. And the truth of the matter is that no man is born a father. That sort of thing comes later, with maturity and time. While Jackson and I aren’t anyone’s fathers yet, we are men. We know what it’s like to be a young boy. We know how their minds think, and what activities they like to participate in. Just give Jackson a chance.”
Her brother might be right, but that didn’t change things. She still reacted like a silly, lovestruck teenager whenever Jackson was near. To the point she felt like she was being disloyal to her husband.
“Lucas will be fine until you can spend time with him. I don’t want or need Jackson’s help. But please thank him for offering to do so the next time you see him. Once Christmas break is over, Lucas will be able to start making friends, which should help him settle into his new life here.”
His worried frown deepened. “It’s your decision. But that won’t change the fact that you will be seeing Jackson from time to time.”
She knew that. She couldn’t ask her brother to keep Jackson from stopping by to see him. Nor would she. She would simply have to do her best to work around the situation whenever it occurred. Like go to her room and lose herself in a good book. Or even slip outside for a long walk.
“I’m an adult,” she told him. “I think I can handle crossing paths with Jackson Wade from time to time.” At least, she prayed she could.
“I’m glad to hear that,” he replied. “Because the last thing I want to do is add to the stress you’re under right now.”
“I appreciate your concern,” she told him as she pulled a carton from the fridge. “But I’m a lot stronger than I look. One or two eggs?”
He looked to the stove. “You don’t have to cook for me.”
“I want to.” It made her feel like she was needed. Without Will in her life, and with her son pushing her away, Lainie felt like she was adrift in a churning sea of loneliness. It was her own fault. After the accident, she’d turned all her focus to Lucas, leaving no time for social interaction with the friends she’d made after she and Will had married. “How many eggs would you like? I just finished
