friend, Andrew Fairservice, if your religion and your temperance are so much offended by Roman rituals and southern hospitality, it seems to me that you must have been putting yourself to an unnecessary penance all this while, and that you might have found a service where they eat less, and are more orthodox in their worship. I dare say it cannot be want of skill which prevented your being placed more to your satisfaction.”
“It disna become me to speak to the point of my qualifications,” said Andrew, looking round him with great complacency; “but nae doubt I should understand my trade of horticulture, seeing I was bred in the parish of Dreepdaily, where they raise lang-kale under glass, and force the early nettles for their spring kale. And, to speak truth, I hae been flitting every term these four-and-twenty years; but when the time comes, there’s aye something to saw that I would like to see sawn,— or something to maw that I would like to see mawn,— or something to ripe that I would like to see ripen,— and sae I e’en daiker on wi’ the family frae year’s end to year’s end. And I wad say for certain, that I am gaun to quit at Cannlemas, only I was just as positive on it twenty years syne, and I find mysell still turning up the mouls here, for a’ that. Forbye that, to tell your honour the evendown truth, there’s nae better place ever offered to Andrew. But if your honour wad wush me to ony place where I wad hear pure doctrine, and hae a free cow’s grass, and a cot, and a yard, and mair than ten punds of annual fee, and where there’s nae leddy about the town to count the apples, I’se hold mysell muckle indebted t’ye.”
“Bravo, Andrew! I perceive you’ll lose no preferment for want of asking patronage.”
“I canna see what for I should,” replied Andrew; “it’s no a generation to wait till ane’s worth’s discovered, I trow.”
“But you are no friend, I observe, to the ladies.”
“Na, by my troth, I keep up the first gardener’s quarrel to them. They’re fasheous bargains — aye crying for apricocks, pears, plums, and apples, summer and winter, without distinction o’ seasons; but we hae nae slices o’ the spare rib here, be praised for’t! except auld Martha, and she’s weel eneugh pleased wi’ the freedom o’ the berry-bushes to her sister’s weans, when they come to drink tea in a holiday in the housekeeper’s room, and wi’ a wheen codlings now and then for her ain private supper.”
“You forget your young mistress.”
“What mistress do I forget?— whae’s that?”
“Your young mistress, Miss Vernon.”
“What! the lassie Vernon?— She’s nae mistress o’ mine, man. I wish she was her ain mistress; and I wish she mayna be some other body’s mistress or it’s lang — She’s a wild slip that.”
“Indeed!” said I, more interested than I cared to own to myself, or to show to the fellow —“why, Andrew, you know all the secrets of this family.”
“If I ken them, I can keep them,” said Andrew; “they winna work in my wame like harm in a barrel, I’se warrant ye. Miss Die is — but it’s neither beef nor brose o’ mine.”
And he began to dig with a great semblance of assiduity.
“What is Miss Vernon, Andrew? I am a friend of the family, and should like to know.”
“Other than a gude ane, I’m fearing,” said Andrew, closing one eye hard, and shaking his head with a grave and mysterious look —“something glee’d — your honour understands me?”
“I cannot say I do,” said I, “Andrew; but I should like to hear you explain yourself;” and therewithal I slipped a crown-piece into Andrew’s horn-hard hand. The touch of the silver made him grin a ghastly smile, as he nodded slowly, and thrust it into his breeches pocket; and then, like a man who well understood that there was value to be returned, stood up, and rested his arms on his spade, with his features composed into the most important gravity, as for some serious communication.
“Ye maun ken, then, young gentleman, since it imports you to know, that Miss Vernon is”—
Here breaking off, he sucked in both his cheeks, till his lantern jaws and long chin assumed the appearance of a pair of nut-crackers; winked hard once more, frowned, shook his head, and seemed to think his physiognomy had completed the information which his tongue had not fully told.
“Good God!” said I—“so young, so beautiful, so early lost!”
“Troth ye may say sae — she’s in a manner lost, body and saul; forby being a Papist, I’se uphaud her for”— and his northern caution prevailed, and he was again silent.
“For what, sir?” said I sternly. “I insist on knowing the plain meaning of all this.”
“On, just for the bitterest Jacobite in the haill shire.”
“Pshaw! a Jacobite?— is that all?”
Andrew looked at me with some astonishment, at hearing his information treated so lightly; and then muttering, “Aweel, it’s the warst thing I ken aboot the lassie, howsoe’er,” he resumed his spade, like the king of the Vandals, in Marmontel’s late novel.
35 Perhaps from the French Juste-au-corps.
Chapter Seventh
Bardolph. — The sheriff, with a monstrous watch, is at the door.
Henry IV. First Part.
I found out with some difficulty the apartment which was destined for my accommodation; and having secured myself the necessary good-will and attention from my uncle’s domestics, by using the means they were most capable of comprehending, I secluded myself there for the remainder of the evening, conjecturing, from the fair way in which I had left my new relatives, as well as from the distant noise which continued to echo from the stone-hall (as their banqueting-room was called), that they were not likely to be fitting company for a sober man.
“What could my father mean by sending me to be an inmate in this strange family?” was my first and most natural reflection. My uncle, it was plain, received me as one who was to make some stay with him, and his rude hospitality rendered him as indifferent as King Hal to the number of those who fed at his cost. But it was plain my presence or absence would be of as little importance in his eyes as that of one of his blue-coated serving-men. My cousins were mere cubs, in whose company I might, if I liked it, unlearn whatever decent manners, or elegant accomplishments, I had acquired, but where I could attain no information beyond what regarded worming dogs, rowelling horses, and following foxes. I could only imagine one reason, which was probably the true one. My father considered the life which was led at Osbaldistone Hall as the natural and inevitable pursuits of all country gentlemen, and he was desirous, by giving me an opportunity of seeing that with which he knew I should be disgusted, to reconcile me, if possible, to take an active share in his own business. In the meantime, he would take Rashleigh Osbaldistone into the counting-house. But he had an hundred modes of providing for him, and that advantageously, whenever he chose to get rid of him. So that, although I did feel a certain qualm of conscience at having been the means of introducing Rashleigh, being such as he was described by Miss Vernon, into my father’s business — perhaps into his confidence — I subdued
