The Coast Of Bohemia. William Dean Howells

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The Coast Of Bohemia - William Dean Howells

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it isn't!" said Mrs. Saunders. "I'd sooner set all day at the machine myself, and dear knows that's trying enough!"

      "I'm not afraid of the hard work," said Cornelia.

      "What are you afraid of, then?" demanded her mother. "Afraid of failing?"

      "No; of succeeding," answered Cornelia, perversely.

      "I can't make the child out," said Mrs. Saunders, with apparent pleasure in the mystery.

      Cornelia went on, at least partially, to explain herself. "I mean, succeeding in the way women seem to succeed. They make me sick!"

      "Oh," said her mother, with sarcasm that could not sustain itself even by a smile letting Mrs. Burton into the joke, "going to be a Rosa Bonnhure?"

      Cornelia scorned this poor attempt of her mother. "If I can't succeed as men succeed, and be a great painter, and not just a great woman painter, I'd rather be excused altogether. Even Rosa Bonheur: I don't believe her horses would have been considered so wonderful if a man had done them. I guess that's what Mr. Ludlow meant, and I guess he was right. I guess if a girl wants to turn out an artist she'd better start by being a boy."

      "I guess," said Mrs. Burton, with admiring eyes full of her beauty, "that if Mr. Ludlow could see you now, he'd be very sorry to have you a boy!"

      Cornelia blushed the splendid red of a brunette. "There it is, Mrs. Burton! That's what's always in everybody's mind about a girl when she wants to do something. It's what a magnificent match she'll make by her painting or singing or acting! And if the poor fool only knew, she needn't draw or sing or act, to do that."

      "A person would think you'd been through the wars, Cornelia," said her mother.

      "I don't care! It's a shame!"

      "It is a shame, Nelie," said Mrs. Burton, soothingly; and she added, unguardedly, "and I told Mr. Ludlow so, when he spoke about a girl's being happily married, as if there was no other happiness for a girl."

      "Oh! He thinks that, does he?"

      "No, of course, he doesn't. He has a very high ideal of women; but he was just running on, in the usual way. He told afterwards how hard the girl art-students work in New York, and go ahead of the young men, some of them—where they have the strength. The only thing is that so few of them have the strength. That's what he meant."

      "What do you think, mother?" asked the girl with an abrupt turn toward her. "Do you think I'd break down?"

      "I guess if you didn't break down teaching school, that you hated, you won't break down studying art, when you love it so."

      "Well," Cornelia said, with the air of putting an end to the audience, "I guess there's no great hurry about it."

      She let her mother follow Mrs. Burton out, recognizing with a smile of scornful intelligence the ladies' wish to have the last word about her to themselves.

      VIII.

      "I don't know as I ever saw her let herself go so far before," said Mrs. Saunders, leaning on the top of the closed gate, and speaking across it to Mrs. Burton on the outside of the fence. "I guess she's thinking about it, pretty seriously. She's got money enough, and more than enough."

      "Well," said Mrs. Burton, "I'm going to write to Mr. Ludlow about it, as soon as I get home, and I know I can get him to say something that'll decide her."

      "So do!" cried Mrs. Saunders, delighted.

      She lingered awhile talking of other things, so as to enable herself to meet Cornelia with due unconsciousness when she returned to her.

      "Have you been talking me over all this time, mother?" the girl asked.

      "We didn't hardly say a word about you," said her mother, and now she saw what a good thing it was that she had staid and talked impersonalities with Mrs. Burton.

      "Well, one thing I know," said the girl, "if she gets that Mr. Ludlow to encourage me, I'll never go near New York in the world."

      Mrs. Saunders escaped into the next room, and answered back from that safe distance, "I guess you'd better get her to tell you what she's going to do."

      When she returned, the girl stood looking dreamily out of the little crooked panes of the low window. She asked, with her back to her mother, "What would you do, if I went?"

      "Oh, I should get along," said Mrs. Saunders with the lazy piety which had never yet found Providence to fail it. "I should get Miss Snively to go in with me, here. She ain't making out very well, alone, and she could be company to me in more ways than one."

      "Yes," said the girl, in a deep sigh. "I thought of her." She faced about.

      "Why, land, child!" cried her mother, "what's the matter?"

      Cornelia's eyes were streaming with tears, and the passion in her heart was twisting her face with its anguish. She flung her arms round her mother's neck, and sobbed on her breast. "Oh, I'm going, I'm going, and you don't seem to care whether I go or stay, and it'll kill me to leave you."

      Mrs. Saunders smiled across the tempest of grief in her embrace, at her own tranquil image in the glass, and took it into the joke. "Well, you ain't going to leave this minute," she said, smoothing the girl's black hair. "And I don't really care if you never go, Nie. You mustn't go on my account."

      "Don't you want me to?"

      "Not unless you do."

      "And you don't care whether I'm ever an artist or not?"

      "What good is your being an artist going to do me?" asked her mother, still with a joking eye on herself in the mirror.

      "And I'm perfectly free to go or to stay, as far as your wish is concerned?"

      "Well!" said Mrs. Saunders, with insincere scorn of the question.

      The girl gave her a fierce hug; she straightened herself up, and dashed the water from her eyes. "Well, then," she said, "I'll see. But promise me one thing, mother."

      "What is it?"

      "That you won't ask me a single thing about it, from this out, if I never decide!"

      "Well, I won't, Nie. I promise you that. I don't want to drive you to anything. And I guess you know ten times as well what you want to do, as I do, anyway. I ain't going to worry you."

      Three weeks later, just before fair time, Cornelia went to see Mrs. Burton. It was warm, and Mrs. Burton brought out a fan for her on the piazza.

      "Oh, I'm not hot," said Cornelia. "Mrs. Burton, I've made up my mind to go to New York this winter, and study art."

      "I knew you would, Nie!" Mrs. Burton exulted.

      "Yes. I've thought it all out. I've got the money, now. I keep wanting to paint, and I don't know whether I can or not, and the only way is to go

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