Whoosh, out of the water as if Flipper was giving her a bottle nosed nudge, her hands shimmying up the side of the hull and curling over the top in a grip like that of a rock climber. Her left leg swung left and her arms pulled her torso over the edge of the canoe. She rested her ribs on the ledge taking a quick breather, hooked by her own bones from falling back into the drink. Her leg fell into the canoe and her body followed. With her hair all over her face, she blindly felt around for the seat and then clawed her way to it, manoeuvring her entire wilted pasty-white body into the canoe. Her Lycra tops were definitely in need of re-adjustment but thankfully her breasts were still covered with fabric. After a quick downward inspection to check on her dignity and a hasty realignment of material to cover up her tummy, she raised her arms up high with glee.
“Yay!” the other five girls cheered.
“Thank goodness for that!” Kylie said taking a deep breath. “My poor little Grover arms and jelly legs nearly broke in half trying to pull myself up and cock a leg over this big long bastard.”
Unlike her new friend Mila, Kylie did not reflect the image of a Bond girl. Her hair was a mess and shouting out for a comb and a major conditioning treatment to untangle the knots, her cheeks were red from intense exertion and her biceps and stomach were aching and scratched from multiple unlubricated descents down the side of the canoe. In spite of all of that, her spirits were high. She had succeeded. She had not given up. While the girls cheered, she kept her arms raised in a victory salute and then she brushed as much of her hair away from her face as she could and looked at Mila who was now staring at Kylie, but not at her face.
“Far out, that was harder than it looks!” Kylie said to Mila.
“Yeah!” Mila said slowly. “Mate, what’s that on your neck?”
“What do you mean? Is it a red mark? I collided with the canoe with multiple parts of my body.”
“Yeah, what is that?” Jenna asked swimming closer to Kylie.
“Shooters, come here and check this out. You too Jess and Ash!” Jenna said.
Kylie was feeling the cold and wondered if she was in shock from being stung by a jellyfish. “What, What? What can you see?” Kylie asked Mila.
“I dunno? Looks weird. Like, a, a…”
“Legless starfish!” Shooters said.
“Or some kind of sucker sea urchin?” Ashley said.
“Nah, it’s seaweed,” Jess said.
“The bottom bit is seaweed but it looks like a smiley face don’t you reckon?” Shooters said.
“Yeah. How funny is that!” Mila agreed.
Shooters was right, the two adhesive nipple covers that Kylie had used on her left breast had slid up from her chest to her neck and were now positioned side by side, with a short strand of green seaweed in a semi circle underneath. It truly looked like a smiley face on her neck.
“Get it off Mila, help me!” Kylie said starting to shake from the cold.
“I’m coming, it’s okay,” she said climbing through the seats of the canoe from Number 2 to Number four, keeping her centre of gravity very low. “Don’t move Kylie or this thing will tip over again. Okay!” Mila said.
“Righto, hurry, hurry!” Kylie was starting to flap her arms like a penguin flapping its wings.
“It’s definitely a smiley face, and the seaweed is the smile, but what’s this bit?” Mila said peeling the pink sticky adhesive disc from Kylie’s throat. Her fingers played with the sticky side as she held it in front of Kylie’s face trying to figure out what the hell it was.
Then Kylie caught sight of it and instantly recognised it. “Oh no! Shame!” she said.
“What? What is it?” Shooters asked, seeing the penny had dropped for Kylie.
“It’s my flamin’ nipple protector okay? So you don’t see my areola’s when it’s cold, I feel the cold very easily and didn’t want to be embarrassed!” Kylie said gritting her teeth.
“Well I think it’s from your left side coz that blinker is definitely out loud and proud,” Shooters announced, alerting everyone to take a close look at Kylie’s left breast.
“Oh Shooters!” Kylie said quickly putting her left hand over her left breast mortified. “Don’t flamin’ look.”
“What are you on about? We’re all women, we all have nipples!” Shooters said stating the obvious.
“Yeah but what if I’ve got like six of the bastards like a puppy and I didn’t want anyone to know?”
“Well, have you got six nipples Kylie?” Jenna asked. “I’m a nurse, you can tell me.”
“No. I’ve got a left and a right one so I put two of these sticky puppies on each, one of them must have dislodged during my battle to conquer the canoe.”
“Two dislodged mate,” Shooters advised. “The other one is still on your neck, it was the second eyeball to the Smiley seaweed face.”
“Oh man!” Kylie said clutching at her throat and peeling it off with her right hand then diving into her bikini from the top and repositioning it, along with the one that Mila had been playing with.
“Oh that’s way less embarrassing than just showing us your nipple,” Jess said.
“Don’t give me any shit for trying to conceal parts of my breasticles,” Kylie said now finished with readjusting herself. “Now are we going to bail this sucker out or what?”
“Yes please,” Shooters yelled.
“Mila and Kylie – you two start bailing and don’t stop. Ladies, we’re closer to the shore than I thought, so everyone else, swim the canoe in, we’ll sort it out there.”
“Thank goodness for that,” Jess yelled out thinking she would have had just as much trouble as Kylie trying to get back in the canoe from the water.
After five minutes of pushing and swimming the canoe towards the shore, they were back in a position where they could stand up and they pushed the canoe half onto the beach.
“Ashley and Jess, I need you to hold the canoe while you are standing in the water so that the water drains to one end and we can bail it from there. The waves will make the end you are holding bounce up and down so be careful it doesn’t hit you in the head, face or chin. Kylie, continue to bail from the water end where I normally sit, I’ll help you, Mila if you can remain in the canoe and bail from another area that would help too. Jenna hold the armor down, the smaller white part of the canoe,” Shooters said pointing to it.
“Yep,” Mila said jumping out over the side into the knee-deep water.
Kylie was smiling but she knew she was in the shit.
“What are you smiling at Kylie?” Shooters asked playfully.
“Oh, I was just wondering, you know how everyone turned around to see what I was up to then the canoe tipped
