who is worth developing a relationship with. This leads to a discussion about why and how being specific with your networking partner(s) is to your great advantage.
Which of the following statements would you be most likely to respond to? “I need some networking help, what can you do for me?” Or, “I know you are on an industry-wide task force with the public relations director at (company), and I’d like to get in touch with her about promoting her CEO as an industry spokesperson. The industry needs unified leadership and I think the CEO could provide it. Could you set up a conference call to introduce me to her so I could follow up with a get-acquainted lunch?” The value of the latter approach is this: In addition to demonstrating what you want, why it is important and how it can lead to a beneficial outcome (the CEO becoming an industry leader), you have given your networking partner a specific roadmap of how to approach the public relations director with a “plan” to make the CEO look good, make the public relations director look good, and make your networking partner look good. This approach represents a win-win for everyone. An important side benefit is that once you start meeting people in the CEO’s company, you are likely to network your way into meeting half a dozen key people who surround the CEO as part of her support staff. You also start making a reputation in the company that might well open many doors, subsequently. So being prepared pays dividends.
Now, let’s move away from this specific example, and look at the importance of following thorough, and why it is critically important to always keep working at your networking agenda.
Follow Through
In networking, following through is critical. Do what you say you’re going to do for your networking partners—and if you can’t or won’t, then don’t promise. Follow up on the leads and suggestions they give you and report back to them on your progress. (This certainly applies to the CEO example outlined previously, so that your networking contact is always up-to-date on where things stand.) Look at it this way: You expect networking partner(s) to come through with what they promised and they have a right to expect the same from you. Keep a dual agenda, focusing one on your networking activity and one on keeping your networking partner informed. And constantly keep working on both.
Keep Working At It
Successful people continually work at networking. The level of effort you put into it is directly related to what you’ll get out of it. Being a passive networker simply won’t work. To get the results you want, your motto has to be: “Stay the course.” So with this simple approach to networking—being prepared and specific, and being continuously engaged—you have developed a networking mindset and a simple process that will serve you well for as long as networking serves your needs and interests. Which can be for the rest of your life!
You’ve Been Networking
Now that you have a basic understanding of how a sound networking strategy should work, I’m going to help make the transition to active, face-to-face networking easier for you by pointing out that you’ve already been networking—perhaps not too consistently—for years. You just haven’t recognized it as networking! For example, you call business acquaintances to tell them about job opportunities you think they’d be right for. You’re at an industry conference and meet a colleague from another state with whom you plan to keep in touch. Your neighbor tells you about a possible lead for your business. You do the same for him during a neighborhood cocktail party conversation. All these seemingly random events are networking activities. Purposeful networking simply has a more consistent, thoughtful and directed focus. Same process. More-consistent application. Greater dedication, and better, more satisfying results. The key to your success is to build deeper, more lasting relationships with your networking partners.
Cultivate Networking Partners
You have to make connections—not just contacts. It means getting to know your networking partners at a level deeper than just superficial awareness. It means being sensitive enough to be able to walk in their shoes, caring about things that concern them, wanting to help them achieve and celebrate successes, understanding their needs, playing into their strengths, recognizing their weaknesses, and finding ways to help complement their goals. Think of the kind of connection you have with your close friends and family—you keep in close and constant touch with them and find ways to reciprocate favors.
I am not suggesting that your networking relationships will, or should, develop to the same degree of intimacy. But this is the model when it comes to cultivating your networking partners. The reason for this high degree of thoughtfulness centers on the idea that if you are not actively thinking and looking for ways to connect your networking partners with others, you will miss opportunities to do so. And sometimes significant ones will be missed, which begins to undermine the whole concept of what networking is about—continually helping one another to advance the other’s goals and objectives for mutual benefit. This level of commitment to your networking partners may sound daunting to you. Let me give you a practical example of how I apply it—to demonstrate that, over time, helping others and yourself becomes a part of how you conduct your activities, both business and personal.
Here’s my example: I read two business-centric newspapers daily, The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal. (Your general newspaper of choice could be the Chicago Tribune, the Los Angeles Times, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, or something else.) All these newspapers and many others are readily available on line, through e-book, i-book and smart-phone subscriptions. If daily skimming of the business sections is too daunting, the same publications usually have “week in review” sections in the Sunday editions. The point is to stay abreast of national and international news of interest to business so you stay informed and stimulated to new thinking. In my view, reading the newspaper just to read the newspaper is a wasted effort when it takes only a few more brain cells to practice sharpening your business skills for your own networking agenda and for helping others with theirs.
In my own case, as I review the daily business news and see an article of interest, I use the article as a thought stimulator. I challenge myself by saying: “How can I use this information to advance my own business agenda?” (Translation: Does it suggest a new product/market direction for my company? An unrealized business opportunity worth exploring? A potential competitive threat I/we should be mindful of following? An emerging market/consumer attitude or behavior worth tracking for future business opportunity?) At the same time, I am also reading to be on the lookout for business opportunities for my networking partners. Knowing each of my networking partners’ business and personal interests, I review articles with their agenda in mind. In the many years I have read newspapers and journals in this way, it never fails that I find at least three to five articles a week worth acting on. With practice, then, I read beyond just looking for information; I’m looking for insight. Not a bad habit for all of us to cultivate.
Obviously, you can’t have the same depth of relationship with every networker you meet. So as you consciously expand your circle of business and social acquaintances, be discerning in choosing people with whom you’d like to develop a lasting networking partnership. Also, networking is about style. I’ve given you some insight about my style. It might feel comfortable to you, and it might not. The bottom line is that you can be successful once you understand your own style and choose to apply it. So let’s explore different styles so you can take what you’ve read so far and apply it comfortably.
Interaction Styles: Women vs. Men
A lot of research has been conducted
