a decent pension plan for the rest of us? (another) MP, Winnipeg South—Curfews for teenagers. I could get behind that ... (another) Ban transfats in beer. That’s going over the top. (another) Finding birth parents. Leave ’em buried, (throws the press releases aside and starts searching for something) Where the hell is the government directory?
1/3 MINISTER’S OFFICE
DOYLE:
Really? You thought it was too bright? I thought it was rather bold ... but in a good way ... good bold. It’s a great colour on her. He wants women, Jay—that’s the new mantra, and women like ...
ROY finds the directory and punches in number.
ROY:
Come on, come on, come on ...
DOYLE:
Gotta go, Jay. Media incoming. No problem. I’ll talk to her. (switches lines) Minister McGuire’s office.
ROY:
Roy Ruggles here. Mirror.
DOYLE:
Hey, Roy! I hear you landed—
ROY:
So how’s the dark side treating you? How’s life as a glorified butler?
DOYLE:
Got a new baby and a mortgage. Works for me. What can I do for you, Roy?
ROY:
I want an interview with her.
DOYLE:
Her? Are you referring to the Minister?
ROY:
Yeah. Her. Basic profile. An hour will do. Can we do it by the canal, after Question Period?
DOYLE:
You don’t want much, do you?
ROY:
Nice picture. Peace Tower in the back.
DOYLE:
I’ll get back to you.
ROY:
I’ll be waiting by the phone, (slams down phone) Jerk.
DOYLE:
Charming as ever.
CLARE enters in a bold but stylish suit, with feather detail. She drops a pile of materials onto DOYLE’S desk, begins checking her BlackBerry.
DOYLE:
How was the tour?
CLARE:
I don’t know a gamete from a blastomere. And I look like hell in a hairnet. Other than that, it was fine. Anything I need to know?
DOYLE:
You’ve got an awards dinner at the Summerside Rec Centre next Saturday. The Mayor and the MLA will sit with you. You need to phone Canada Pension for constituent Mary Long. Chronic pain, broke her hip at work, been waiting three years for Disability. She’s a Liberal. And for QP, we’ve prepared answers on gun control, same-sex marriage and RCMP pensions. That should cover it. And here’s a press release patting ourselves on the back for passing Bill C-13, which came into law one year ago today.
CLARE:
Which is?
DOYLE:
Bill C-13, the Human Reproductive Technology Act.
CLARE:
I’ve got to get a handle on these laws.
DOYLE:
You will. (hands her the release) The Act took ten years to pass because of its controversial nature. It covers all the new repro technologies: in vitro fertilization, surrogacy, cloning, cross species, stem cell research ... The right-to-lifers call it the “Murdered Embryo Act.”
CLARE:
Right. Doyle, could you get a gardening company over to my place? It’s starting to look like a jungle.
DOYLE:
Done.
1/4 FANNING’S OFFICE
An Opposition Backbencher’s office. There is a large cross on the wall. GEORGE FANNING is practising his question for Question Period.
FANNING:
Monsieur le Président, mon question est pour ... (tries lowering his voice) Monsieur le Président, aujourd’hui, j’ai un question pour la nouvelle Ministre, (clears his throat, straightens up) Mr. Speaker, today I have a question for the new Minister. We have watched almost in a stupor ... we have been stupefied by her rapid rise in the ranks ...
1/5 MINISTER’S OFFICE
DOYLE:
There’s another request for a New Minister interview. From the Mirror.
CLARE:
Do I have to wear a bathing suit?
DOYLE looks up.
CLARE:
Just kidding.
DOYLE:
It’s a profile. A hopes and dreams thing. The reporter’s Roy Ruggles. I worked with him years ago at the Globe. Major authority problems. Can’t keep a job. Screw loose, I think. I don’t advise it.
CLARE:
I know Roy.
DOYLE:
Pardon?
CLARE:
I know him. We’re both from Summerside. Neighbours. Roy has a mentally handi ... challenged brother. And a sister, Mary Colin. Saint Mary Colin we called her. She watched over us all as we trooped off to school. A little gaggle of Ruggles and McGuires.
DOYLE:
What a concept. Roy Ruggles as a child. Anything else I need to know?
CLARE:
No.
DOYLE:
Are you
