miserable, worse than usual, I can’t do nothing right.
FLOYD
You never could.
MOOCH
Anyways, I forgot to put the toilet seat down and … well … she went pee in the middle of the night …
FLOYD
So.
MOOCH
I guess she fell in.
GEORGE
What?
MOOCH
Yeah. She fell right in the bowl. Her cheeks touched water and everything.
Anyways, she falls in the toilet and she just loses it.
She’s screaming and hollering, kicking the walls.
FLOYD
No shit.
MOOCH
When I woke up she was right on top of me.
Woke me up and lumped me out!
Damn near knocked my tooth out too.
GEORGE
Holy shit, Mooch.
FLOYD
Did you hit her back?
MOOCH
I wouldn’t do that.
GEORGE
You couldn’t do that. June’s twice the man you are. You’re lucky to be alive.
MOOCH
Ahhhhh … she’s just a little crabby is all.
FLOYD
Seems like she’s always a little crabby these days.
GEORGE
Ever since she quit …
MOOCH
Naaaaw, that’s not it … It used to be you had to watch your ass when she got her moon time, eh, but once that was done, she’d be just like an angel.
GEORGE
(snickers) Angel of Death maybe …
MOOCH
For a couple of days, anyways … But now … now she’s got that … moon-a-pause.
GEORGE
Moon-a-pause?
MOOCH
There’s no telling what she’ll do.
Get a jug.
FLOYD
You gonna chip in?
MOOCH reaches into his pockets and pulls out a handful of change.
FLOYD
How much is that?
MOOCH
Twenty bucks, looks like.
FLOYD
How did you get that?
GEORGE
Raid June’s change jar again?
MOOCH
No!
FLOYD
The one she puts money in, instead of buying smokes.
MOOCH
She gave it to me.
FLOYD
You ripped her off!
MOOCH
No!
GEORGE
No wonder she’s so miserable all the time. She was trying to save up for something nice and you go and drink it away on her. One day you might find yourself out on your ass.
MOOCH
You gonna lecture me all goddamn night?
FLOYD
How much he got?
GEORGE
About ten bucks, looks like.
MOOCH
Told you. Now c’mon, let’s chip in and get a jug. We can get more that way.
FLOYD
I got a drink.
MOOCH
Oh …
MOOCH watches for FLOYD to drink his beer.
FLOYD
You just gonna sit there and watch me?
MOOCH
I’m waiting for you. Hurry up, eh.
FLOYD
Get your own jug!
MOOCH
If we chip in, it’s better. C’mon!
FLOYD tries to take a drink. MOOCH stares at him the whole time.
FLOYD
Oh, for Christ sakes!
MOOCH
George, get us a jug.
MOOCH collects his change from the table.
MOOCH
I’ll keep this for the next one.
FLOYD
I thought you said you would pitch in.
MOOCH
I’ll pitch in for the next one. You get this one.
FLOYD mutters to
