asking them how they thought they had performed a particular action and, if it wasn’t to their satisfaction, how they would improve on it, was an amazingly effective style of coaching. There is tremendous power in asking effective questions and then being fully present—actively listening—for the response.
Nothing focuses attention like a question. I first learned this when I was teaching tennis. For 10 years I ran a tennis school in Toronto, and like most tennis instructors I was constantly telling people to watch the ball. It wasn’t until I attended a workshop with Timothy Gallwey, who wrote The Inner Game of Tennis, that I clued in to the fact that if I wanted the students to focus on the ball it was better to ask questions about the ball than simply to give them the command to “watch the ball.” When I started asking questions like “Which way is the ball spinning when it hits the ground?” or “What type of ball are you hitting?” I made the startling discovery that in order to answer my questions, they had to watch the ball! It wasn’t the command “watch the ball” that focused attention, it was a question—and as long as I kept good questions coming, they stayed focused on the ball.
This is as true in business as it is in sport. Questions such as “What were the figures on that last report?” “What could we do to further improve the service here?” “Where could we simplify this process?” “What do you think the impact of that will be?” “Where do you think we could focus our energies?” uncover new awareness and bring greater clarity to the issue. When you ask questions such as these you immediately begin to build awareness. Seeing things with greater clarity is often enough to motivate people to take more timely and effective action.
The other advantage of questioning is that it builds responsibility. If my only goal is to assign responsibility to get the job done, I could just say, “You are responsible for this.” “You do that.” But much better and many more purposes are served if I say, “Who will take this one on?” “How confident are you that you can complete this on time?” “Is there any element you are unsure of?” “What obstacles might present themselves?” “When can you have it done?”
When the primary interaction is through questions, it helps you, as the coach, to find out if the people you are coaching have clarity and are on track. The questions and their answers also give them influence over their own actions and ownership of the issue at hand. By asking questions rather than offering solutions you are also giving them a form of recognition, which can be much more meaningful than praise.
Because you are trying to develop self-responsibility and awareness in this other person, the words you choose and the tone and body language with which you deliver them will be important. The most effective questions begin with words that seek to quantify—what, when, where, who, and how—which you generally qualify into phrases like how much, how many, how often. When you are trying to uncover a block, solve a problem or implement a solution, the one word to avoid using is why. “Why” is ineffective in these situations because it pushes the person into defensiveness and analysis—two states that are counterproductive to what you’re trying to accomplish. Instead of saying, for example, “Why did you produce a month-end summary like this?” use phrases such as “What were the reasons for producing the month-end summary in this new format?” By rephrasing the question you get some understanding of the thinking and reasoning behind what they did. You will see how they organize their thoughts. For a coach with a strong developmental bias, this insight into their inner world is invaluable.
Generally speaking, when using this more consultative style in developing another person, you follow their train of thought. If you think they are off course you simply ask another question: “In what way is this connected to what we are talking about?” You may discover from their answer that this actually is connected to the issue at hand. You may get some valuable clarity on steps that need to be completed before they can tackle the end goal. On other occasions when you ask the question, they may become aware that they are off course and get redirected back on course.
There will be other times when, to you at least, there is an obvious solution they have not mentioned. Again, because you are being developmental and trying to build self-responsibility and self-awareness in the other person, don’t jump in and immediately tell them what they should do. Instead, choose to ask a question. “I noticed that you didn’t mention X as a possible solution; are there reasons for that?” I cannot tell you the number of times I’ve asked that question only to discover that my “solution”—the one I thought of in the first 10 minutes of speaking to them—turned out to be one they had tried much earlier and found did not work. (In these instances I was always glad I had phrased it as a question rather than just blurting out my idea. Otherwise, they might well have thought, “Does he think I’m an idiot? If he could think of that in the first 10 minutes of our meeting, doesn’t he realize I thought of it long ago?” and I would have lost their trust as well as credibility as a coach.)
Questions can be powerful, but use them wisely. Some common mistakes in asking questions are:
• asking a question when you already know the answer
• asking a question so simple that it’s insulting
• sounding like a cross-examiner (tone of voice is critical)
• not really listening to the answer
Use questions to:
• seek understanding
• clarify for yourself someone’s position or level of knowledge
• guide people in a certain direction
• build confidence, awareness and self-responsibility
I’m not suggesting that you never give a command or tell someone what to do. There are times when that is the most efficient way to communicate with someone, especially concerning a simple task. But asking effective questions is the primary skill employed by exceptional coaches with a strong developmental bias. This is how they develop people. Good coaches use this style of communication most of the time. In the chapters that follow, the skill of asking effective questions comes up time and time again.
Listen Actively
Once you ask a question, you need to listen well. Listening is a simple skill that is very hard to execute. This may be because we equate being in charge with talking. There is an illusion that if you are talking, you are in control. The only thing you are controlling, however, is airtime. If you really want to coach well, you need to know the person you are coaching, the issue they are dealing with and their ideas on possible solutions. The only way to get to know all this is to listen and observe.
If we respond to employees without listening, what we are doing is prescribing without having all the information needed to properly diagnose, and they may end up having very little faith in the solution. Let me explain. If I go to a doctor and start describing how I am feeling and outlining my symptoms, but I feel the doctor isn’t really listening or doesn’t really understand the situation, how much confidence will I have in the diagnosis? How comfortable will I be with the solution he prescribes?
Many of us tend to want to rush right into things and fix them without taking the time to diagnose and understand. Part of this deeper understanding relates to having real knowledge of the person, their idiosyncrasies and how they learn. Wally Kozak, former Canadian national women’s hockey coach and current scout, has a quote on his office wall at Hockey Canada
