means weekly Mass; for the millennials, baby boomers, and others, faith means Mass attendance on major holidays, if at all.
This book is designed to be a practical and honest look at where we’ve been and where we need to go. I’ve heard from folks around the country — whether at speaking events or among radio followers — that they felt judged or unwelcomed by the Catholics who are very involved at the parish level. They don’t feel “holy” enough or educated enough in the Faith to participate in other activities outside of Mass. They feel like they’re back in high school, being rejected by the “in” crowd. Let me just say, I’m very sorry if you’ve been made to feel that way in any church setting, whether that’s your local parish or a church you have visited in the past. Please know, you have every right to be involved, and it doesn’t matter how much you know about your faith. We’re all always learning more. Your journey is just important as anyone else’s. Don’t let your sense of being unwanted or unworthy keep you from God — the truth is, he does want you. Very, very much.
Hopefully this book will help you start digging a little deeper, no matter where you are in your journey today.
It may surprise you to hear that even if you go to Mass every week and hear the Bible readings, you still might not know the Gospel of Jesus. Being somewhat familiar with someone and having a deep, committed relationship with him or her are two very different things. That was the case with me and my husband growing up Catholic, and it’s not an exaggeration to say it’s the case with a large majority of Catholics, including those who are in the pews regularly. God is the only one who can judge hearts. And God, who created us, understands us better than we understand ourselves. Therefore, he realizes we can’t love him without truly “knowing” him.
Getting to know Jesus and our faith on a personal level actually makes a lot of difference when it comes to true happiness. Yes, God loves us right where we’re at. But as I heard a preacher say once, he also loves us enough not to keep us there. Why settle for a so-so relationship with God, when you can have a great relationship with him that is filled with abundant joy? That’s right, abundant joy, as Jesus reminds us: “I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly” (Jn 10:10).
Don’t all of us deserve a chance at an abundant life? That’s what God wants for all of us. It is what he has prepared for each of us by giving us the gift of the Church. He has so much more in store for us. He wants to fulfill the longing rather than leave us scratching our heads, feeling like we’re missing out on something truly wonderful. This is no small task. It takes time, patience, and effort. But it’s so worth it.
As a matter of fact, there is nothing in your life that could ever top an active, living, breathing relationship with the one who created us and knows us better than we know ourselves. Hey, I’m a Catholic talk show host. Would I lie to you? And not just any talk show host: I am a talk show host married to a man who is now a Catholic deacon, believe it or not. I’m a Catholic talk show host who, in her previous life, had everything according to the world’s standards and was still miserable. Both my husband and I are living proof that the journey of faith is so worth it.
This journey could lead you to reinvent yourself, not only spiritually and personally, but even possibly professionally as well. That’s what happened to us. Don’t let that frighten you! God may or may not have something like that in mind for you, and he knows exactly what’s best for you. Just remember that God is not going to abandon you. He has a plan — a plan that is so much better than the one we’ve invented for ourselves. Trust me when I say: Been there, done that, and bought the T-shirt. And while my husband and I absolutely love this re-invention or extreme makeover God did in our lives, we’re most grateful for what he did in our marriage, giving new life to a relationship in near ruins. That’s reason enough to write not only this book but countless others.
This is a book about encouragement and not condemnation. Considering I spent many a year as a dazed and confused nominal Catholic Christian, I am certainly in no position to point fingers. And while this book will take a look back to see what might have gone wrong in the evangelization and catechesis categories, it doesn’t stay stuck in the past, whining about what might have been. Instead, I am hoping this book in some small way will serve as motivation or inspiration to help you take the next step in your own walk of faith.
This book is for Catholic Christians who want to discover the fullness of the Faith and truly make it a part of their daily lives. More than that, it’s for Catholics who want to ensure their lives have deep meaning and who want to help make the world a better place in some way. It’s for Catholics who want to help pass on a living faith to those coming up behind us. And last but not least, it’s for Catholics who are already happily hanging out in the faith pool but realize that there is more to life than floating or coasting along.
Chapter One
Outside the Box
Taking Faith Beyond Our Comfort Zone
“You have to change your thinking if you desire to have a future different from your present.”
— Germany Kent
For many years, I kept God and my faith in a neat little box. The box was very attractive because it was convenient and comfortable. It was comforting to know it was there if I needed it — basically, only in emergencies. I closed my faith box during the week and opened it only on Sundays, when I went to Mass and closed it again after I came home from Mass. Within a few short months after I entered college, I had even stopped going to weekly Mass. There were those emergency moments when I would rush back to the local parish on campus with the lovely little faith box in hand. When my prayers were answered, though, the box went back into hiding. All was right with the world, or so I thought.
This attitude toward God and my Catholic faith didn’t happen overnight. There wasn’t one incident that catapulted me out of the Church. I was simply too involved in trying to forge a path for myself in the very competitive field of news broadcasting. Competing for coveted news internships, working at the radio station, and writing for the campus newspaper took up all of my time. Soon God just didn’t fit into my life anymore. It was a gradual drifting and desensitization. I still identified myself as Catholic if classmates or friends asked about my religious affiliation. But God just wasn’t at the top of my priority list.
My parents had spent a nice chunk of change sending me and my sisters to Catholic school. Thank the good Lord it was an excellent school that taught the Faith well. You might be wondering, “Well, if they did such a good job, why did you fall away from your faith?” For me, personally, the pull of the world was too strong. My teachers, both lay and religious, were very good at encouraging vocations, and not only vocations to the priesthood or religious life. They spotted my gift for gab when I was only in the third grade, and they decided to do their best to help me learn how to use that gift wisely. That led to small parts in school plays, forensics, and debate competitions. When I stepped inside my local high school, I walked almost immediately into the guidance counselor’s office to tell her that I had already chosen communications, and in particular broadcast journalism, as my field of interest. From there, I started working on the high school radio station and newspaper. Things were going just as I had planned and hoped.
Since I was still living at home, regular Mass attendance was a must. I obliged my parents but really didn’t give the God thing much thought beyond that, as everything was going so nicely and according to plan. At that point in my life, my faith box was still sitting on the dresser or table, so to speak, where I could grab it quickly if needed, but it remained for the most part closed.
Slowly,
