ALLAN
Illustrations by Jack Matsuoka
Rutland, Vermont _________ Charles E. Tuttle Company ______ Tokyo, Japan
Published by the Charles E. Tuttle Company of Rutland, Vermont
and Tokyo, Japan, with editorial offices at
Osaki Shinagawa-ku, Tokyo 141-0032
All rights reserved
First edition, August, 1955
Second Printing, January, 1956
Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 55-10616
ISBN: 978-1-4629-1324-4 (ebook)
Printed in Japan by the Toppan Printing Company, Tokyo
Dedication
"This is a book about Japan and the
Japanese, written for the entertainment—
but not the education—of the people who
live in places like Gozaimasu, Ohayo.1
Critics will find neither profundity nor wisdom in this work, which wasn't work, but fun. Any attempt to write is serious study on Japan after having spent only thirty months in the country would be sure way for a professional writer to suffer the indignity of shirimochï2, if not, indeed, to commit literary seppuku3. Too many writers have already done both.
1 Spoken ohayo gozaimasu by the Japanese to mean "good morning." If there isn't such a town in Ohio, I propose to found one.
2 A pratfall.
3 Disembowelment.
Contents
DRIVING IS JUSTA RITTLE DIFFERENT
TAKE ME OUT TO THE BESUBORU GAME
NEXT DOOR PRETTY SOON WIFE-SAN
THE STRANGE ISLAND OF HATSUSHIMA
SASHIMI! O-SUSHI! RAW, RAW, RAW!
Ginza
Go,
Papa-san
mY friendo Watanabe-san met my friendo Goto-san on the Ginza one evening. Watanabe-san was thirsty, and after an exchange of the amenities—which took a few minutes—he said so, and invited Goto-san to have a biiru. This, of course, was in Japanese. Literally translated, it went like this:
"The throat got dry," Watanabe-san said. "Honorable biiru wishing to drink, is it?"
"Thank you, there is not," Goto-san answered. "Time I do not have. Japanese Papa-san teaching I am. English teaching me he is."
"Ah so desu ka?" asked Watanabe-san. "A long time I hadn't seen you, it is. Soon again to meet you I wish, so I think."
"Your wife, how is she?"
"Thank you, thanks to Heaven well she is."
"Well, then, with your permission, goodbye
My two good friendos bowed and said sayonara, and Goto-san home went.
That you an idea of what I up against am gives....
Of course there are various ways of learning something about the Japanese language when you are on duty with the Security Forces in the Far East. The Army Education Center gives lessons. There are private tutors. Both of these methods sound like work; they pin you down to a schedule, although admittedly either would be effective. There also is the linguistic study method advocated by Benjamin Franklin, which will never lose its popularity. Out here, because the Japanese sleep on small pillows filled with peas, this is known as "beanbagging."
And then there are the dozens of textbooks. English-Japanese Conversation Dictionaries. How to Speak Japanese Romanized. How to Speak Japanese in Three Weeks, in Thirty Days, and—speedo being popular—in Thirty Hours. Experience has taught me that the latter may best be summed up by the Japanese expression tondemonai, or—loosely translated—"never hoppen!"
Best of all, perhaps, is that gem of a publication titled Japanese Phrase Book for the Occupation Forces. The occupation is over, but the handy phrases in this little volume, I predict, will linger on the alien American
