of all, remember that your intention is for you, not her. She has her own intentions.
D
Why did you buy this book?
What are you hoping to accomplish?
Do you think you will be successful? Why or why not?
What do you think needs to happen in order for you to succeed?
What are your hopes?
What are your fears?
Imagine yourself standing in front of her (whether she’s alive or not). How do you feel? How do you want to feel?
What do you think needs to happen in order for it to be this way?
What don’t you want?
If you could wave a magic wand and change three things about your relationship with her, what would they be?
On a regular basis, how would you like to feel (pick three emotions)?
What do you want to bring with you into the future?
What do you want to leave behind?
Who do you want to be in this relationship?
How do you want to show up?
If your intention could talk to you, what would it say?
Based on everything you’ve written down so far, what is your intention?
Simply notice what came up as a result of answering these questions. Jot down some notes if you want to.
D
Now? Detach yourself from a specific result or outcome, and let your journaling do the work. What does this look like in practical terms? You have created a written intention. It is being held for you. Trust in that, and turn the page.
Reveal (verb): make (previously unknown information) known
“If you look deeply into the palm of your hand, you will see your parents and all generations of your ancestors. All of them are alive in this moment. Each is present in your body. You are the continuation of each of these people.”
—Thich Nhat Hanh
Your direct maternal lineage is the line that follows your mother’s maternal ancestry. This line consists entirely of women. And those women had all kinds of experiences. There is most likely unconscious fear and collective trauma in your maternal lineage. There are patterns and wounds that have been passed down to you.
Here are some common ways these patterns and wounds can show up:
•You compare and despair.
•You feel stuck, overwhelmed, and like an under-achiever.
•Or you are over-achieving, but without any joy or fulfillment, just going through the motions in an effort to prove your worth.
•Shame, blame, guilt, and desperation.
•Fear of failure.
•Fear of success (believe it or not): believing that if you succeed you won’t be loved, someone will disapprove, or that you’re somehow “showing off.”
•Putting up with bad behavior in others.
•Constantly seeking approval, validation, and permission from outside yourself (and especially from her).
•People-pleasing and being afraid to say “no.”
•Taking on other people’s problems and thinking it’s on you to fix them.
•Self-sabotage (especially when you get close to achieving something).
•Binge eating, binge drinking, binge shopping, binge anything.
•Feeling chronically frustrated, angry, and maybe even enraged.
•Trying to control the uncontrollable.
•Chronic worry and anxiety.
•Chronic overwhelm, confusion, and hopelessness.
•Believing it is selfish or narcissistic to put yourself first, or even to love, accept, or care for yourself.
•Believing it is your responsibility to take care of others, emotionally speaking.
•Thinking that your desires and preferences don’t matter.
•Not having a clear sense of who you are and what you want.
•And if you do know what you want, feeling incapable of doing or having it.
•Having weak or non-existent boundaries.
•Being afraid to speak your truth and take up space.
D
What do you know about the women who came before you?
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