schizoid individual cannot describe his problem. As far back as he can remember, he has always had some difficulty. He knows that something is wrong, but it is a vague knowledge that he cannot put into meaningful words. Without the understanding of his parents or teachers, he resigns himself to an inner desperation. He may find others who share his distress and with whom he can establish a rapport based on a mode of existence that is “different.” He can even rationalize his behavior and gain some sense of superiority by proclaiming that he is not a “square.”
I shall present four cases to illustrate some of the different forms the schizoid disturbance can take and the common elements in all four. In each case the disturbance was severe enough to require therapeutic help. In all cases, it was ignored or overlooked until a crisis occurred.
VARIETIES OF SCHIZOID PERSONALITY AND BEHAVIOR
1. Jack was a young man, twenty-two years old when I first saw him. He had graduated high school at eighteen, after which he spent a year singing folk songs in coffee houses. He followed this with two years in the army, then drifted from one job to another.
Jack's crisis occurred after his release from the army. In the company of his friends, he took some mescaline, a hallucinogenic drug. The result was an emotional experience that shocked him. He said:
I had hallucinations that are impossible to describe. I saw women in every conceivable stimulating position. But when I came out of it, I hated myself. My guilt about sex confuses me. The strange thing is that I claim to be unconventional, left wing, no sex limitations, et cetera. I can reason this out, but I can't get away from the feeling of guilt. It frightens and depresses me.
This experience, induced by the drug, broke down Jack's adjustment. The schizoid tendency in his personality, which he had managed to keep under control, broke through into the definitive symptoms of the disorder. He described them as follows:
a. Fright—“At times the fright is so severe that I can't be left alone. I think I'm just plain afraid of losing my mind.”
b. Hypochondriasis—“Every little pimple, scratch, pain, et cetera, scares me to death. I immediately think of cancer, syphilis…”
c. Detachment—“Once I felt like I was slipping from reality, sort of removed; and within the past few weeks, I've felt removed almost constantly, as though I'm somewhere else watching myself.”
When the symptoms appear with the intensity described above, the diagnosis is easy. However, it would be a mistake to assume that there had been no previous evidence of the schizoid disturbance. Jack had experienced severe fright in the form of night terrors when he was very young. And even as a child he struggled with feelings of unreality. He related that:
As early as I can remember [six or seven years], I've always felt different, but I was constantly convinced by my parents that this was normal. In grade school I usually felt sort of strange—example: sitting in class watching the other pupils and wondering if they felt the same confusion as I did.
The unfortunate aspect of this problem was that no one in Jack's immediate entourage seemed to understand his difficulties. “My parents and friends convinced me that this feeling [of being different and strange] was a normal feeling,” he said. Jack's experience in this respect seems to be the rule. Even night terrors are often passed off as “normal” experiences, which the child will outgrow.
Jack's body showed the typical schizoid features. It was thin, tight, and rigid, with an underdeveloped musculature, limited motility, and restricted respiration. It was an unalive looking body, from which Jack had dissociated his ego long ago. He had never seriously engaged in sports or other physical activities. His hypochondriacal anxiety expressed his fear of his body and his lack of identification with it.
2. Peter, a seventeen-year-old boy, was referred for psychiatric evaluation after an alarming incident. He had gotten drunk one night following an argument with his girl friend. Then, to show her how much he cared, he took his guitar to her home to serenade her. Since it was late at night, her parents were disturbed by his actions. To quiet him, they invited him into their home. Once inside, Peter demanded to see their daughter and threatened to cut off his finger or his hand as proof of his affection. He became so unruly that he had to be forcibly restrained and returned home.
Three months before this incident Peter had been involved in other troubles. He stole a car together with some friends. It was returned, and the boys admitted the theft. But, then, they ran away to avoid involving their parents, so Peter said. They broke into an empty home, stole some provisions, hid from the police, and thus compounded their difflculties with the law. Because Peter came from a good family and had a clean record, he was placed on probation. His delinquent behavior was blamed on his companions by his mother. Not until after the incident with his girl friend did she think that something could be wrong with Peter.
That something was wrong could have been seen earlier. Before any of these incidents occurred, a problem had developed in his schoolwork. After two good years in high school, Peter began to have difficulty concentrating. His studies fell off badly in his junior year. He stayed out late, started drinking, and became unmanageable. But no one seemed to show concern until the crisis occurred.
Peter's body was well built and well proportioned. His face had an innocent expression but was otherwise without feeling. This look of innocence had deceived his family. His eyes had a blank, empty quality. Despite its normal appearance, his body was tight and hard, and his movements were very uncoordinated. His knees and ankles were so stiff he could hardly bend them. His body lacked feeling, and even when he related the incident about his threat to cut off his hand he did so without feeling.
During our discussions Peter said that his sexual contact with a girl provided the only warmth he experienced and that his life was meaningless without it. Seemingly, the need for this body contact was so imperative that it overrode all rational considerations. Without it he felt so empty and unalive that moral principles had no value. I find that this condition is typical of all the delinquents I have seen. Their search for kicks is an attempt to “get a charge” into an otherwise “dead” body. Unfortunately, this search for excitement takes the form of a dangerous escapade or a rebellion against authority. The lack of normal body feeling in these young people accounts for their preoccupation with sex.
If the schizoid disturbance is not understood, delinquent behavior will continue to puzzle the authorities and the families of these young people. It will be blamed on a lack of family discipline or attributed to a moral weakness in the youth. While these explanations have some validity, they overlook the dynamics of the problem. An ego that is not grounded in the reality of body feeling becomes desperate. In its desperation it will act destructively toward itself and others.
3. Jane was a young woman of twenty-one who came into therapy following the breakup of a romantic affair. She felt lost and desperate. She sensed that something was seriously amiss with her personality, but she didn't know what it was or how to handle it. We can gain some idea of her problem from the following story:
I remember in my teens thinking I was at war with myself. Especially at night, in bed, I felt I was at war with something in me. It was very frustrating and very hopeless. I felt so confused. I didn't know whom to ask.
At eleven, I discovered my body. Before that I took it for granted. I gained a lot of weight and became self-conscious. I also began my periods at this time. The more inhibited I became, the more weight I gained and the less real I felt. I started masturbating one year later. I thought I would get pregnant or a venereal disease. I felt very guilty about it. But I would also have to masturbate before I could do anything. If I had to write a paper for school, I would procrastinate until I finally masturbated. Then I could do it.
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