Fred's Amazing Holiday. Ian Higgins
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Too early for the shops. So off to the Gardens at the bottom of George Street... “Zip-a dee-doo-dah, Zip-a-dee-Ay.”
The gardens are nice and sunny. Better sit under this Moreton Bay Fig, up against one of those big roots and dig out some money from the money box. My pocket money won’t go far, but I gotta be careful, as Grandpa says, “A fool and his money are soon parted.” Well I didn’t part with too much of my money to get to town.
Get out the knife. Poke it in through the slot in the top of the money box. You turn it up. And you shake it all around. Do the Hokey-Pokey and it all falls out: piece by piece, as long as I shake it all about. Great! Two shilling pieces and sixpences.
Wonder where I will go next after being in town? Could catch the Sydney Express from South Brisbane, go to visit Aunty Mary in King’s Cross Road, King’s Cross? Just jump into one of those coloured taxis, when I get to Central Station... I like the Red and Black ones, but Green and Yellow looks good too. Don’t have bright taxis in Brizzy. No double-decker buses here either. Sydney trams, bit old fashioned, not like our shiny silver ones, real modern, stream lined. But we don’t have any Brisbane tram sayings that I know about. Gran who lived in Sydney for years, sometimes says she’ll, “Shoot through like a Bondi tram.” Wouldn’t mind going to Bondi beach, but I haven’t put in my togs. I could swim in the nuddie: get my photo in The Sydney Morning Herald with the printing underneath, “Fred Jones, all the way from Brisbane, in his Birthday Suit at Bondi Beach. I’d be famous. I’d love to be on the front page of the newspaper. That’d give Mr Brown something to think about, I might even get a new nickname maybe The Bare Truth? Or like the story Mum was telling Gran about Mr Churchill having his afternoon nap, on a hot day with no clothes on. A visitor walked into his room. Mr Churchill jumped up in surprise, starkus, and said, “You can see I’ve got nothing to hide!”
Must be time to go off to the Model Shop, in Adelaide Street. Should be open now.
“You got a day off school, son?”
“Yep. Got a special dentist appointment later this arvo. Mum’s up at Allen and Stark: said I could spend my time looking around here, while she buys some women’s stuff. Dad said he’ll buy me an electric train set for my birthday, as long as I save up towards it as well.”
“I could switch on the newest model on display. It’s the one that has its rail tracks all laid out over there. I’ll show you how it goes.” And he does. The model of the Flying Scotsman goes round and round. “You can have a try. Don’t go too fast.”
This is really good. I do be careful. I’ll tell Dad.
“Could you, please, write down for my Dad, the details in my new note book, Sir, while I have a look around?”
“Sure! Tell your Dad, he can put the Flying Scotsman on lay-by and I will put it away for your birthday. Nobody else will get it, that way.”
So I am having a good look around, especially at the monster Meccano sets. And here there’s a bright shining brass steam engine machine. It uses real water that you heat up in the little engine boiler, until it gets so hot that the steam power turns the big wheel... I’d like one of those.
Bit sad! All I can afford today is a yellow and green Dinky truck, not much bigger than a match box, easy to fit that into my bag.
Now it’s time to have early lunch... Just round the corner in Edward Street. First say goodbye to the shop man.
“Thank you for your trouble. I’ll make sure Dad will be back here soon. You could write down my name .It is Fred Jones. My Dad is Mr Charles Jones. We live in Alfred Street, Corinda. I have to go now for an early lunch.”
Off down the street. Maybe I should not have given my name, too bad. Be more careful, next time.
There it is - The Colony Club. I’ll keep Mum’s sandwiches for tea. Goodness knows where I will be by then. The waiter, who knows me, is standing at the door. Does that a lot. Likes the fresh air, even though the air moves around a lot in The Colony Club.
I love the big ceiling fans that are right across the room, hanging down, and going to’n’fro. Mum says they are copied from Singapore; but in Singapore they don’t have a machine to make them go. They just use the natives. Must be a boring job pulling the ropes. Sure makes the place the coolest café in Brisbane.
“Where’s your Mum to-day? She always comes with you.”
“Oh today, Mums got to go to get some corsets fitted at that place in the TNG building called New Age Creations. Said it’s not the place for a twelve year old boy. The fat ladies don’t like boys gawking at them. I said, “I don’t gawk!”, but she told me to go and get an early lunch here at the Colony Club, because you know Mum and me too. Then I have to go up to the School of Arts Library and pick out my next eight books. She said she’d get late lunch at the Colony Club and then she’ll meet me at the Library. I just have to stay there reading Biggles, or whatever, till she gets there.”
“The waiter says, “Thanks for the long story... Almost got us both to afternoon tea time.”
I think, he thinks, he’s funny. I give a grin.
“You better sit up the back corner, where you like to be, and can see everybody. I suppose the usual: pie-an-peas with mashed potatoes, a piece of pavlova with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and a glass of ginger beer.”
“Yes, please”
“I will put it all on the bill. Keep it for when your Mum comes later.”
“Thank you a lot.”
This is just the best meal. And Mum’ll pay later (quite a bit later) and I’ve still got plenty of money from the money box. Think of all those kids back at school eating squashed ham or peanut butter or Windsor sausage sandwiches and apples and all that. Here I’ve got a hot pie, hotter than what comes off the pie man’s truck on Fridees.
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Now I’m off to have a sit n think, in King George Square. Work out what next to do. I have missed the train to Sydney. It goes about now. I’d never get to the station on time. Too bad. Grandpa says, “The world is wide.” Plenty other places to see.
Strange how my Commonwealth Bank Money Box looks exactly like the big Commonwealth Bank over there. Wonder if the tin-makers copied it, when they made the box. It looks so real, real.
I will walk round to Roma Street. Take my time. Look at anything interesting. Won’t catch a tram this time. Don’t part with your money, unless you have to. That now is my motto. So far I have not spent a penny, which reminds me to go to the lavatory soon! Funny how in the Ladies, Mum told me you have to put a penny in the door slot to get the door open. Lucky we don’t need to sit down for a number one. Last time I had a big wee I nearly drew a rabbit in wee not oils. Funny how your mind wanders. What was I thinking about??? Oh the money... and not paying at the Colony Club. Mum is going to be so angry, when I get home and tell her that we owe money at the Colony Club. How I told the man she’d pay later. Better not forget! Dad will be mad, but I will deserve it. Can’t do anything ’bout it now. Better get up, get going. Can’t sit here for