Prepare Yourself
for
China
The Visitor’s Survival
Guide to China
Brian Bailie
Copyright © 2013 Brian Bailie
All rights reserved.
ISBN-13: 978-1-4566-0470-7
Published in eBook format by eBookIt.com
Dedicated to my Claire,
without whose never-failing constructive criticism and advice
this book would have been finished in half the time.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
With thanks to my business partners.
Barrie for providing me the occasional anecdote to help illustrate this advice. And Robert, without whose forthright guidance and roller-coaster learning curves, I would have crashed and burned many, many times.
Introduction
If you’re planning a nice professionally organized package holiday to China, you’re reading the wrong book.
This book is written for business visitors and those who intend to take the road less travelled.
The Chinese Bureau for Tourism want this book banned.
Why?
Because I’ve been brutally honest.
What’s the point of writing a book on visiting China seen through rose-tinted glasses?
I have been accused of offering only worse case scenarios. But isn’t that what you want?
Do you want to learn from other people’s mistakes; or from your own?
I want you to hit the road running, to expect the unexpected, to roll with the punches; I want you to succeed at whatever you’ve travelled to China to accomplish.
China is an amazing place, it has a fascinating culture, a superb and varied cuisine. And it offers unbelievable potential for the ambitious, and prepared, businessperson.
Interpreters
I can’t emphasize it enough, China is not just another foreign country, it’s a whole other planet to the unprepared Westerner. Don’t wait until you arrive there to discover just how alienated you’re going to be. Unless your Mandarin is pretty good, without interpreters, I promise you’ll be seriously restricted.
Ideally you’ve already armed yourself with a phone-interpreter. Phone-interpreters are easy to use, at the end of your mobile phone 24/7, and can save you a lot of stress; save you from little problems becoming big problems, and they can save you money. For about the same price as cinema ticket, you can buy peace of mind, and travel with the confidence of a seasoned professional.
Personally, even with my years of experience, I’m uncomfortable travelling in China without an interpreter available at the other end of my speed-dial. Okay so this is a cinch for me because I have my own Chinese office staff to phone or text, but it’s worth checking out, and have it set up before you arrive. There are several good providers of phone interpreting services that you can book online before you travel.
I’m not trying to scare you, really, but I think it’s easier to learn from other people’s hindsight:
*I know an Australian businesswoman, freshly arrived from Pu Dong Airport, who hopped into a taxi for the (three-hour) drive to Hangzhou without taking advantage of the airport restrooms. Sure enough, before long she needed “to go”. However her language skills failed her in her moment of desperation, and the driver simply mistook her pleading and gesticulating as a need to drive faster. Unable to communicate her predicament, she arrived in Hangzhou a little ahead of time, soiled and deeply humiliated.
*I have a mischievous expat friend who thought it would be funny to play a prank on his American visitor who had recently arrived in China bitterly complaining about the dangerous way his taxi driver had delivered him. The American asked my friend for the Chinese phrase for “Slower, Slower.” But the prankster taught him the Chinese phrase for “Faster, Faster.” You can image the results: The faster the taxi driver drove, the louder and more desperately the American screamed, “Faster, Faster.” It wasn’t funny at the time, apparently.
*And, an Irish businessman I know was unwittingly drawn into an argument in the street over a stolen computer, and perpetrators accused the Irish guy of the offence, (he was to be their patsy). Unable to understand anything that was going on, he was arrested by the Chinese Police. The police demanded that he sign a document admitting to the crime, which he could neither read nor understand. He subsequently spent three months in a Chinese prison, until his family could arrange to buy his release.
Okay, so these are extreme examples of instances when it would have been very useful to be able to phone a friendly local, but you get the idea: interpreters aren’t just a luxury, they can prove to be essential.
There are two types of reliable interpreting systems:
•By-Your-Side,
•and Over-the-Phone.
By-your-side interpreters
This is great (for your ego), there is nothing to beat having your own personal guide to follow; however the cost is significant at about US$80 to US$150 per eight-hour day.
I’d recommend a by-your-side interpreter if you’re planning something like a specialized shopping trip or a business meeting, (in fact I’d demand that you acquire your own independent by-your-side interpreter for any business meetings or factory inspections if this is what you’re visiting for).
One drawback of a by-your-side interpreter is that they are by your side all day long, invading your privacy, wanting fed, listening to everything, knowing almost everything about you. If you enjoy your own privacy, this can be suffocating.
Another serious drawback of a by-your-side interpreter is if they are leading you to people and places where they know they’ll get a kick-back on anything you buy, or any deals you make. This is a really neat way for them to profit from your ignorance. As well as being led to their preferred contacts, you may find yourself invited to a Tea Party.
These Tea Parties have become a bit of a scamming cliché, but in case you don’t know, read on: You’ll find yourself in someone’s humble home, perhaps a frail old woman introduced as a special auntie. And you’ll be treated to a tea ceremony of sorts – all lovely and friendly. And once you’ve enjoyed the (average) tea and little old lady’s hospitality, you’ll be persuaded to purchase some of her “very special” tea. It isn’t special tea, and she probably lives in a swanky new apartment across the road. The price you are being asked to pay for the tea is extortionate, even by best-of-the-best
