/ FUCK WITH ME / I SAID
(The wind blows. The floor creaks. WARDROBE retrieves the violin. The bridge hangs loose in the tangled strings.)
I had a dread / at eighteen months / a dread / do infants dread? / I dreaded / and to describe this dread as something less / an intuition / or an apprehension / would be to wilfully diminish it / no / I dreaded / I dreaded the failure of the world /
(He launches the wrecked violin against a wall.)
TO SATISFY MY EXPECTATIONS /
(He is still. He is judicious.)
And a dread is not / let us distinguish these conditions / simply a powerful anxiety / it is /
(He frowns.)
Informed /
(He goes to the OLD WOMAN. He places his hands on her shoulders.)
It is / as opposed to superstition / innate knowledge / dread does not guess / it knows /
(He leans over THRASH, and inhales deeply.)
You stink / you stink / and probably you are the solution /
(He seems to recollect.)
I smelled you with my first breath / I smelled you / and you were not then / nor are you now / a rose / though roses were near / oh yes / roses were near / they overhung the window / my dear father / supplemented even those / bouquet upon bouquet / by my mother’s bedside / on tables / thrust in buckets / but I chose / ha /
(He bites his lip in self-adoration.)
To inhale the midwife / a perspiring hag who / I daresay / had been put to considerable exertion persuading me to quit the womb /
(He smiles.)
She hoisted me / she dangled me / she slapped my arse / and I / precisely where her armpit was exposed /
(He exults.)
CHOKED ON THE ODOUR OF THE WORLD /
(He tilts up the face of THRASH with one hand.)
Kiss me / kiss me /
(She concedes. WARDROBE pulls away violently from her at the conclusion of the kiss, teetering and nauseous.)
I decline to discriminate / I declare / I /
(He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.)
I assert / I yell my repudiation of /
(He spits.)
This / this / illogical and entirely artificial distinction between /
(And spits again.)
the so-called ugly / and the so-called beautiful /
(He presses his fingers to his lips.)
What is this / after all? / a discipline / an arbitrary discipline / to which no man need subscribe /
(He regards THRASH with a determined objectivity.)
Is it not an act of moral and aesthetic independence / on our part / to declare this / this /
(He experiences a wave of nausea, but controls it.)
Conventionally / odorous / and /
(His head swims.)
Conventionally /
(He suffers. He turns swiftly to the frowning yet fascinated BIBLE.)
ARE WE NOT PRIVILEGED / YES / PRIVILEGED / BY VIRTUE OF OUR APPALLING SOLITUDE / TO /
(He drags his gaze back to the unmoving old woman.)
Re / re /
(He bites his lip.)
Re-everything? /
(He disciplines the chaos of his thoughts.)
I say this woman is adorable / I both say it / and intend it / I cannot / can I? / only say it /
(He looks at BIBLE.)
The intention is all /
(He returns his gaze to THRASH. Slowly he proceeds to unbutton his waistcoat, dropping it to the floor. He then works at his shirt, methodically. BIBLE’s fascination draws him up out of his sheets, a pale spectator.)
2
WARDROBE’s concentration is shattered by the intrusion of a dishevelled SOLDIER. WARDROBE turns on him seething with temper and bewilderment.
WARDROBE: DID YOU FRIG MY MOTHER? / DID YOU? / DID YOU? / DID YOU FRIG MY MOTHER? / YOUR FINGERS SHONE / YOUR SHINING FINGERS / HE SAYS YOU FRIGGED MY MOTHER /
(He explodes in hysterical laughter, bending from the waist in his exertion. The SOLDIER recoils.)
It’s all right / it’s all so very / very / normal and all right /
(He recovers.)
Usual / normal / and all right /
(The SOLDIER stares, embarrassed but unable to withdraw from WARDROBE’s gaze.)
I shan’t last /
(The SOLDIER looks concerned.)
Out here / shan’t last /
(The SOLDIER shrugs. He tightens his mouth in his anxiety. WARDROBE sobs, and smothers the sobbing.)
Find the violin /
(Restored, WARDROBE plucks up his waistcoat. The SOLDIER pokes around the littered room.)
Over there somewhere /
(He buttons the garment.)
The violin /
(The SOLDIER retrieves the wrecked instrument. He extends it tentatively towards WARDROBE.)
That’s it /
(The SOLDIER frowns.)
That is the violin / or if it is not / strictly speaking / any longer a violin / it possesses all those elements that formerly constituted a violin /
(The SOLDIER shakes his head, bewildered. WARDROBE is incensed.)
YOU HAVE COME HERE FOR YOUR MUSIC LESSON / HAVE YOU NOT? / I ASSURE YOU THE THING YOU HAVE IN YOUR HAND / NOTWITHSTANDING YOUR CONTEMPT FOR ITS CONDITION / REMAINS AN INSTRUMENT / ALL INSTRUMENTS MAKE MUSIC / FIND THE BOW AND PLAY IT / THEREFORE /
(BIBLE extends a hand to WARDROBE. The gesture is ignored as WARDROBE, oddly calm, apostrophizes the unhappy SOLDIER.)
When
