Missy. Pretty girls don’t scare me with their hollow threats.’
‘Hollow threats?’ she fumed. ‘Your ear is really going to cop it!’
‘Beggin’ yer pardon, Miss Ruby,’ Rat Bait said, moving beside her. ‘But might I have a word to me ol’ friend Eddie the Ear?’
‘Be my guest,’ Ruby scowled, not lowering her swords. ‘But if he doesn’t talk, he’ll be Eddie No Ears.’
Rat Bait knelt beside the gerbil, a calm look in his eyes.
‘Eddie,’ he began casually, ‘when this be over I’d wager ye’d want to return to Sea Shanty Island to continue yer glamourous life as a pickpocket.’
‘So what if I did?’ Eddie grunted.
‘The thing be, I have a dear acquaintance on the island,’ Rat Bait continued, ‘a fine fellow by the name o’ Baron Gustave.’
Eddie snorted. ‘That pompous white rabbit who runs the Gunpowder Galleria? What’s it to me?’
‘Well,’ Rat Bait said, maintaining his level tone, ‘Gustave is what ye’d call a fam’ly rabbit, the proud father o’ twelve sons.’
‘Big deal,’ Eddie spat. ‘He could have a hundred fluffy bunnies for all I care.’
‘An’ that be the problem,’ Rat Bait said, his voice deepening. ‘Ye just don’t care. Ye don’t care ‘bout anyone but yer snivellin’ li’l self.’
‘And what makes you so different, Capt’n Rat Bait?’ Eddie said defiantly. ‘Yeah, I’ve heard the rumours. You’d sell your own mother for a bag o’ lousy copper coins.’
‘Well, the rumours be wrong,’ Rat Bait growled. ‘Like Gustave, I be a fam’ly rat now, an’ I don’t take kindly to low-life street urchins threatenin’ the lives o’ me own two grandchildren.’
Eddie shot Rat Bait a look of concern. ‘Y-you’re related to these little crims?’
‘They’re not criminals!’ Rat Bait fumed, waving a paw behind him. ‘Me grandson, Whisker, be the Pirate Cup champion.’
‘Oh,’ Eddie gulped.
‘That’s right,’ Rat Bait said, his nose only millimetres from Eddie’s face. ‘Ye know who organised them Centenary Games, don’t ye? Mr Fam’ly himself, Baron Gustave. He’s grown rather fond o’ our young Whisker, an’ I don’t think he’d take kindly to news o’ yer actions. If I were to breathe a single word ‘bout what happened in that web, Gustave an’ his twelve sons would be on ye in an instant – an’ they’d never leave ye alone.
‘Ye’d wake up every mornin’ with firecrackers in yer pyjamas. Ye’d be plastered with purple paint pellets the moment ye stepped out o’ yer front door. An’ the frostin’ on yer birthday cake for the rest o’ yer sorry life would be Gustave’s very own Gourmet Gunpowder – a potent purple powder ready to frizzle every hair on yer miserable head the moment yer cockroach-eatin’ friends yell blow out the candles an’ make a wish!’
Eddie’s bruised, battered and squashed face turned a sickly shade of green.
‘I-I might be ready to talk now,’ he squeaked.
‘I should hope so,’ Rat Bait said, stepping aside for Ruby. He winked at Horace who was shaking his head in admiration. ‘Nothin’ like a bit o’ friendly conversation to get things movin’.’
‘Alright, Eddie,’ Ruby said. ‘Spill the beans and your ear just might live to hear another day.’
Eddie looked up at her, his confidence crushed. ‘W-w-well, for a start, I wouldn’t advise breaking into that prison.’
‘Why not?’ Ruby snapped. ‘You found a way out. Surely you can get us back in.’
‘Yes,’ he said slowly. ‘But what would be the point?’
‘The point,’ Ruby hissed, tightening the grip on her swords, ‘is that we intend to rescue a very important prisoner, and you are going to help us.’
Eddie tried to shake his head, but ended up with more pine needles in his mouth.
‘It’s impossible,’ he spluttered.
‘Nothing is impossible,’ Ruby shot back.
‘This is,’ Eddie insisted.
‘And why is that?’ she asked, moving both scissor swords to the base of his ear.
Eddie closed his eyes and waited for the snip. ‘Because the prisoners have already escaped.’
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