completely change your life. THERE IS NO WAY BACK ALREADY…”– Gods see, I can no longer read their books! They scare me! I’ll put them on the fares shelf and won’t touch anymore!
We came back to the castle, and I continue my sad chronicle of events …
Tol and Esa are rowing all the time, others try not to pay attention to them, but sometimes they start screaming so loudly that there is simply no strength to listen to these endless cries. They shut up only when Arel is near. But he is less and less likely to leave his rooms …
It's sad to look at him, he is completely passed.
It seems to me he doesn’t eat or drink at all, just pricking…
Carina had thrown him again and went to Upper…
I’ve faced her when she was living and she was determined.
“Buy, Vil’, – she said, – “I don’t know if we ever met again, maybe somewhere behind the walls of this castle. I’m living! I can’t help Arel. I can’t and I don’t want to. I won’t even try to help him – it’s hopeless and ungrateful work. Let him do whatever he wants! I’m sorry, Vil, don’t you think that I left him in a hard time, however… maybe it is
what it is. Well, alright! I have no shame, I need to think about myself… I don’t know how could I help him! How to help, if he doesn’t want this help! Do you know?”
I shook my head sadly…
“Than you have nothing to do here too,” – she said, – ‘Leave until they didn’t ask you again to do something vile!’
I answered:
‘Carina, I can’t! If I leave the castle, who will take care after people? About poor people living in this castle. Arel’s steward is a real sadist, he’s been serving here since dad was alive and the way he behaves with slaves…”
She looked at me so strangely, with surprise, that I blushed.
“Now, when Arel is out of business, I suppose I could change some rules…’
‘Good luck!’ – she threw, – “And… If you need something… My help…’
“Thank you, Carina! Gods bless you!’
She didn’t hear out. She didn’t say something more. She just left. And what about Arel he seemed not to be very upset. Moreover, during the dinner ignoring the food he said arrogantly: “She’ll back! She has nowhere to go!’
At that moment I wanted to punch his stupid head!
Of course, I don’t think Carina is a beautiful and innocent angel… After all I’ve known about her… I was so naïve and stupid! But still… Despite all that awful things she’d done…
She did it to save her life… And that justify her a little big in my eyes… but maybe more honestly… She yielded to the temptation… I could forgive her everything! And Arel must be happy that such a girl is beside! He must carry her in his arms…
No! I don’t want any more to write about them…
Enriki intermeddles in my business… Only the one should answer for the men! Enriki seems to be having more fun commanding them that actually doing them any good.
I’ve tolked about that with Arel.
“What kind of people’ – he asked.
I was always amazed at his ability to see no one around him! He lives in the world, where there are only Nikto, Lis, Enriki, Toland Sguint-Eye.
That’s all!
I reminded him that the refugees are trying to live in the streets ruined by Black Bay, and this is not easy in the circs of winter and epidemics!
Then he seems to have understood a bit what I mean …
I told him that more than half the people left us …
Some went back to the east, it is good that the "red" subsided a bit …
Others dispersed in the Lower City and settled on other streets …
But those that remained despite the difficulties, have already restored several houses and began to build new ones.
I said that Nikto helped me a lot by putting at my disposal his“unclean” half-breeds soldiers. They help a lot at the construction.
“At first I was very afraid of the epidemic”, I said, “especially after hearing that the half-breeds endlessly tell a story about a sick warrior. But it turned out that I was worried in vain, they were talking only about some very respected commander who was seriously ill, fatally ill … The tumor devoured him from within, causing incredible suffering and
agony, he knew that he did not have long to live, but he endured. Unable to fall asleep at night, he tried to escape from pain and heavy thoughts at the card table and alcohol …but it didn’t help much… His only desire was to die as befits a warrior by the sword, and not by illness in his bed
… "Unclean" half-breeds believe that only in this way can a warrior join the rest of the warriors in the next world …
But he was not lucky, because of the epidemic, all hostilities faded away. And he counted every day and only prayed to the Gods that they would enable him to die as a warrior and die by the sword! Now he didn’t go to bed at all, didn’t go to the bed at all, barely standing on his feet, put out his last strength, and was still waiting for deliverance, and prayed to the Gods …
I told this to Arel, and he suddenly looked up, and I saw in his eyes some glimmers of interest!
“And the deliverance has come!” he said suddenly.
“Yes! How do you know this!” I was immensely surprised.
“His God came down from heaven and struck him with a sword as a warrior,” said Arel …
I stood stunned:
“You … did you hear that story too?” – I asked, and he laughed, laughed badly, I always get scared when he laughs like that …
“I made it,” he said.
And I saw his eyes … Terrible eyes … Totally insane. I could not look into them, could not bear this look … He looks at you and as if through you. As if you are not, or you are transparent. His mother had the same look, and I wanted to leave as soon as possible … In the end, Arel has long been no matter what happens around …
“He took me through again, however … as always,” Arel said, probably to himself, because I did not understand his words … – Wil! – He called me.
And when I approached him again, he said:
“Wil, when I die, take the portrait of my mother off the wall, you know
… in my room … in
