but your mind thinks it would be a mistake and I agree.”
“I see.”
He doubted it, but he’d pushed his self-control as far as he could that night. If he stayed one second longer, he was going to join her on the bed and to hell with both of their reasons for saying no.
Lise watched Joshua walk out of her bedroom without saying another word and it was all she could do not to call him back. Which said what about her intelligence?
Good night and granny’s garters, why had she let him touch her? Was she a brick shy of a full load, or just plain stupid?
She’d known any level of intimacy with him would be devastating and she’d been right. She’d never gotten as lost to herself when making love with her ex-husband as she had when Joshua touched her. His expert caresses had decimated her solid reasons for avoiding a sexual relationship, and it had not simply been the reality of his hands on her body.
The mere memory of the one kiss they’d shared had been enough to destroy her good intentions.
She’d been primed and ready when he showed up on the porch and found her trying to assuage a need more intense than any she’d ever known. He’d taken immediate advantage and she’d let him. Had, in fact, reveled in his touch to the point of experiencing a glorious explosion of pleasure at his hands.
He’d liked it, too. The bulge in the front of his pants had been unmistakable.
So why had he refused her invitation to share her bed?
He’d said it was because she didn’t really want him, but he had to have known she would have let him make love to her completely, despite her misgivings. She couldn’t have stopped herself. Because she did want him. A lot.
He’d been right about one thing, though. She wasn’t happy being at the mercy of a physical desire that put her emotions at risk again.
Had that really mattered to him?
A mercenary, Joshua was a man who in all likelihood used sex as a tension reliever. She had a hard time seeing him as so fastidious about why sex was offered that he would turn down a woman he wanted as much as he wanted her. Such sensitivity did not fit with her image of him, but neither did his refusal to let her pay him.
He was a puzzle she could not afford to get caught up in.
He had said before that he didn’t do sex on the job and maybe that rule explained his coming to his senses before they did the deed.
Regardless of his reasons, she should be grateful for his withdrawal, not feeling this aching void in the core of her being and a terrible temptation to go find his bed since he’d refused to share hers.
Dusk shrouded the landing strip in shadows as Joshua landed his plane at the small municipal airport outside of Seattle.
Although the touchdown was smooth, Lise’s stomach sank with the final decrease in altitude. She’d eaten a small breakfast and nonexistent lunch. Fatigue always affected her appetite, but this time it was more than lack of sleep that left her feeling blechy. It was the knowledge that they were at the end of their journey.
The jet engines cut off, surrounding them in absolute silence. She and Joshua hadn’t talked for pretty much the entire trip, although he had invited her to sit in the cockpit with him. It had been interesting, but each mile closer to Seattle had increased her sense of oppression.
“Traffic is going to be terrible getting back into Seattle this time of night,” she said, so she wouldn’t have to focus on what was really bothering her.
Returning to her stalker’s orbit.
Joshua shrugged as he pushed open the plane’s door, then lowered the stairway. “We can have dinner before going back into the city. If the traffic is still ugly, we’ll survive it.”
“Do we have to go back to the apartment tonight?” she asked.
One more night away wouldn’t make a huge difference, would it? She cringed inside at the spineless thought.
“Let’s talk to Nitro and Hotwire and hear what they found out before we make any major decisions.”
Knowing Joshua realized she didn’t want to go home made her determined not to give in to her emotional weakness.
Besides, she had a book to finish. The delivery deadline she’d told Bella about had been real, just not unexpected. However, because her concentration had been off, Lise was behind her writing schedule and knew it would take a lot of work to get the book done on time.
“I should get back to work.”
He didn’t say anything, but put his hand out to help her down the steps.
A man with blond hair and blue eyes, but looking every bit as intimidating as Joshua ever did, waited on the tarmac at the bottom of the stairs. Hotwire. She remembered from the brief meeting before her and Joshua’s flight to Texas.
He stuck his hand out to grab one of the bags from Joshua. “Hello, Miz Barton. It’s a pleasure to see you again.”
Hot Georgia honey rolled off his tongue, and she couldn’t help smiling at him as she let him guide her down the last couple of steps.
“Where’s Nitro?” Joshua asked as he took her arm, putting his body between her and Hotwire.
The look he was giving his friend was pure possessive male and totally confusing after his rejection the night before. He was acting like a stallion protecting his mare from a rival.
How ridiculous was that? Not only did Joshua have no claim on her, but there wasn’t so much as a tiny test tube of sexual chemistry between her and the fair man. Unlike the explosion of combustible chemicals that erupted between her and Joshua whenever they got within three feet of each other.
Hotwire waited to answer Joshua until they’d closed up the plane and started walking across the tarmac toward the parked cars. “Nitro’s keeping the apartment under surveillance. We’re hoping to lure the perp into showing himself while Miz Barton here is still gone.”
“Why would he do that?” Lise asked, momentarily distracted from Joshua’s perplexing behavior.
They’d reached the rental car and Hotwire pressed the remote unlock button. “We sent a few false signals on his bug, indicators that the electronics were breaking down. Then we cut the transmission completely this morning.”
“You think he’ll believe it’s broken and try to break into my apartment to fix it?”
“That’s what we’re hoping.”
It couldn’t be that simple, could it? Lise thought what it would mean to her to identify the stalker and felt chills go up and down her arms at the prospect.
Joshua opened the back door on the passenger side, indicating she should get inside. She did, but had to suck in air when he leaned across her to lock the safety belt in place.
He stopped when his face was directly in front of hers. “Comfortable?”
“Um…yes.”
