in the drawer for a cigarette. A filthy habit. Ian smoked and he was a doctor so why shouldn’t she smoke? She fired up, blew an artful smoke ring, propped her aching legs on the kitchen chair, and drew the paper toward her, bringing the Federal Express envelope she’d tossed on the kitchen table closer to her plate. Mrs. Emily Thorn. The sender was Dr. Ian Thorn. Emily blinked. Why would Ian be sending her a Federal Express letter? She pushed it away. He probably wanted her to do something. Ian always wanted her to do something. Someday, just for the pure hell of it, she was going to tally up a list of things Ian had asked her to do over the years. If she didn’t open the letter, she wouldn’t have to do anything. But then Ian would call for a progress report. Better to open it and get it over with. Whatever it was Ian wanted her to do could be done after she got her hair cut. Ian used to love her long, curly hair, said it made her look wanton when she tossed it from side to side. Emily snorted in disgust. Still, she made no move to open the Express envelope.
Emily was on her fifth cigarette and fourth cup of coffee when she snatched the cardboard envelope, opened it, and took out the letter.
The trembling started at the corners of her mouth, then spread throughout her entire body. She wanted to lean back in the swivel chair, but her body was too rigid. She wondered how she could tremble and be rigid at the same time. “Damn you, Ian, damn you to hell.” Emily clutched the arms of the chair, twin lifelines, and stamped her feet. She remembered another day, long ago, when a letter had arrived from Ian. On the eve of her wedding. So very long ago…
“I can’t believe I’m getting married. Do you believe it, Aggie?”
“I see the white dress and veil so it must be true,” Emily’s best friend said.
“I wish I wasn’t so tired. I still can’t comprehend that I worked last night. I must be out of my mind, but Friday night tips are so good I didn’t want to give them up. Two banquets and I made a hundred and fifty bucks. Not too shabby.”
“You look worn out. And yes, you were out of your mind to work until three in the morning. Emily, you are killing yourself.”
“Maybe so, but look what I have in the bank. It’s all paid off for Ian and me. We’re finally getting married, seven years late, I grant you, but in a few hours I will be Mrs. Ian Thorn, wife of Dr. Ian Thorn.”
Aggie’s eyes narrowed. “It’s that white shirt and tie thing, right?”
“That’s part of it, but I love Ian. I’ve loved him since we were in the ninth grade. He’s a part of me just the way I’m a part of him.”
“Right now, off the top of your head, don’t think, just blurt the answer…how many times have you seen Ian in the past seven years?”
Emily’s jaw dropped. “Seventy-five? That’s a guess…it’s probably more…that’s a stupid thing to ask me, Aggie. You have no idea how hard it is for Ian to get fifteen minutes to himself. Most of the time he’s half dead. We spoke a lot on the phone, sent cards. A day didn’t go by when we weren’t in touch. We agreed early on that sacrifices would have to be made. We knew what we were doing. We made it. Today is the big day. I’ve never been this happy in my life. Ian…he’s…he’s so happy he can’t talk straight.”
Aggie’s lips compressed. “I’m glad you’re happy, Emily. I could never do what you did.” She shook her head.
“That’s because you and Rob didn’t have a dream, a plan. Ian and I did. I’m not saying that’s wrong for you two. It was right for Ian and me.”
“You always said you weren’t going to have a backyard wedding with the potato salad in plastic bowls,” Aggie groused.
“I did say that. It was silly of me. This wedding is only costing four hundred and fifty dollars. I’d rather have this and money in the bank. Ian agreed. I’m wearing my aunt’s wedding gown and Ian is wearing his best dark suit. You have a lovely dress. It’s simple, but it’s what we can afford.
“Ian’s friend is going to take some pictures. You made the wedding cake as your gift to us. So, what’s missing?”
“Nothing, I guess. I just want you to be happy, Emily.”
“You keep saying that. Right now I am the happiest almost-bride in Scotch Plains, New Jersey.”
“Sit still so I can cover the dark patches under your eyes. Don’t blink,” Aggie said, sponging makeup under Emily’s eyes. “I’m going to use some extra rouge, your skin is too pale. A little sun wouldn’t hurt you, Emily.”
“No time for sunbathing. Do you know what I’m giving Ian as a wedding gift?”
“What?”
“The bank book. He has absolutely no idea how much money I’ve saved these past seven years. Do you believe he never asked? Not once.”
“How much did you save?”
“I’ve got twenty-three thousand dollars. It’s not all in the passbook savings account. I invested some of it. Ian’s eyes are going to pop right out of his head.”
“What’s he giving you?” Aggie asked.
“I have no idea. I don’t even know if he knows the groom is supposed to give the bride a present. Giving me his name is enough for me.”
“Don’t forget all those white shirts he’s giving you to iron,” Aggie said tightly.
“Am I wrong or don’t you like Ian?” Emily asked.
“I like Ian. He’s very charming. When he wants to be. But I do think he’s taking advantage of you. Emily, you have worked like a dog since the day you graduated. You’ve been working seven days a week forever it seems. You’re always tired and you don’t remember what it’s like to feel good. You’re only twenty-five and already you have some bad varicose veins. You should have a doctor look at them.”
Emily burst out laughing. “I think I’m going to have a doctor looking at them for a whole week. I’ll respect his opinion.”
“It’s not funny, Emily. Jeez, I’m going to miss you.”
“We’ll write. Not a lot, but I promise to stay in touch. Ian still has another year and then his residency and more schooling if he wants to specialize, which I think he’s going to want to do, and then, Aggie, it’s clear sailing for both of us. I can start school, get pregnant, and have the best of everything. A few more years aren’t going to matter. At least we’ll be together. Be happy for me, Aggie.”
“I am happy for you, Emily. All I can say is Ian better make you happy or he’ll have to take me on. Rob and I will straighten him right out.”
Emily’s voice dropped to a whisper. “Aggie, I want to show you something. I want to share it with you so you won’t worry about me. Last night when I got home, so dead tired I thought my legs and feet were numb, I was just going to fall in bed with my clothes on, but I turned on the light and taped to the outside of the window was a letter from Ian. He must have stopped by late and left it. It was so like Ian I cried and cried. I know it by heart, but I’m going to read it to you. Listen to this,” Emily said, pulling the folded piece of paper from inside her bra. “I want to keep it close to my heart. This will set your mind at ease where Ian is concerned.”
“Let’s
