‘Certainly no more than twenty.’
‘Perfect,’ said Howard. ‘We’ll set off in twenty minutes.’
So everyone BUSTLED about preparing for the outing.
to keep him going, he said. Mickey Thompson put on a pith helmet and ate some more crisps. Purvis found a rucksack and zipped the
‘Oh dear,’ said Purvis.
‘Nervous Exhaustion’ said Mickey Thompson, sounding knowledgeable.
‘I wouldn’t be at all surprised,’ said Howard.
‘Ortrud, hup!’ coaxed Mickey Thompson. ‘Hup!’
‘She won’t budge,’ said Purvis.
‘Can you carry her, Howard?’
‘If I must,’ sighed Howard, hoisting her up. Ortud trumpeted, complainingly, and went floppy.
‘She’s heavy,’ puffed Howard.
‘We’ll stop from time to time, for rests,’ said Purvis.
‘And conspicuous,’ grumbled Howard.
‘I don’t want to attract attention.’
‘Why’s that then?’ asked Mickey Thompson.
‘Because strictly speaking I should be working hard at my desk,’ said Howard, ‘not visiting
‘I see,’ said Purvis.
Mickey Thompson pointed at Howard’s mac, t a n g l e d in the coat-stand.
‘That old mac,’ he said. ‘We can use it.’
‘My smart mac,’ corrected Howard. ‘How?’
‘As a disguise,’ said Mickey Thompson. ‘If we drape it over Ortrud, it’ll look like you’re just carrying a bundle of any old something or other. No one will pay any attention at all.’
‘A trumpeting, elephant-shaped bundle of any old something or other,’ grumbled Howard, as he helped the mice drape the mac over Ortrud.
‘There,’ said Purvis.
‘That looks almost completely inconspicuous.’
‘Tremendous,’ said Howard, heading towards the door.
‘Now let’s get going.’
‘Wait!’ said Purvis.
‘What?’ said Howard.
‘Take your jacket off,’ said Purvis.
‘Certainly not,’ said Howard. ‘I’ve already given up my mac, and it’s starting to rain.’
‘I know,’ said Purvis.
‘Well, then,’ said Howard.
‘But listen,’ said Purvis. ‘Just imagine.’
‘What am I supposed to be imagining?’ said Howard.
‘Just imagine,’ said Purvis, dramatically, ‘someone comes into this room.’
‘Your point being?’ said Howard.
‘You’re supposed to be here, but you’ve GONE, ’ said Purvis. ‘To the
‘Hmm,’ said Howard.
‘How would they know about the
‘It doesn’t matter about the
‘You said they knew about the
‘Stop that,’ said Howard.
‘So anyway,’ continued Purvis, ‘if we hang your jacket on the back of your chair, people will assume you’re still somewhere here in the building.’
‘Why will they?’ asked Mickey Thompson.
‘Because it’s pouring with rain,’ said Purvis.
‘“He can’t be far away from his hardworking desk,” is what they’ll think. “Only a fool would go out in this without a jacket on.” ’
‘Exactly,’ said Howard. ‘What do you take me for?’
‘But, Howard,’ said Purvis. ‘You don’t want to risk getting into trouble, do you? This way, you’re covered.’
‘Yes, in water,’ muttered Howard, as he took his jacket off and hung it over the back of the chair.
‘There,’ he said. ‘Happy now?’
‘I’m not sure,’ said Purvis. He studied the jacket, worriedly.
‘Do you think it’ll be enough?’
‘We could plump it out a bit,’ suggested Mickey Thompson.
‘How do you mean?’ asked Purvis.
‘Stuff something into it, and sit it on the chair,’ said Mickey Thompson.
‘Then it would look like an actual Howard.’
‘No it would not,’ said Howard, crossly.
‘We’d need some trousers,’ said
