those words could be true for him.
Movement at the door drew his attention. “Boys,” Ravena said as she hurried inside. “You need to leave Mr. Beckett alone.”
“They’re all right,” he said.
But she ignored him. “Let’s go.” She placed a hand on each of their shoulders and steered them toward the door. “Please let me know if they bother you again, Tex.”
“They weren’t a...” The door shut before he could finish.
A feeling of desolation washed over him as the quiet in the room pressed in. Pushing out a sigh, he slid back beneath the covers. He was grateful for Ravena’s help, truly grateful, but he couldn’t linger here.
* * *
After spending a total of five and a half days in bed, Tex felt more than ready to be up and about. And to leave. Under Ravena’s capable hands, his wound had almost completely healed, though there were still moments when he wished he could sleep for a month. Mark and Luke hadn’t come to see him again, so he guessed Ravena had stopped any further attempts at visits. He had been amused by the occasional appearance of a smiling little girl with dark brown braids and blue eyes who held up her kitten for him to see.
Without anyone to talk to, other than short conversations with Ravena when she carried in his food or rebandaged his side, he kept busy resting or reading. He read more while convalescing than he had in years. Books mostly, ones Ravena brought him from downstairs, but also a newspaper, which he’d perused front and back, relieved when he didn’t find mention of himself.
But now it was time to move on. Tex finished putting on his boots and stood. Hefting his saddlebags and throwing his jacket over his arm, he observed the room. It looked as if he hadn’t been here at all. The thought brought a flicker of emotion. Was it disappointment? Had he really left no trace of himself behind when he’d left eight years ago? Maybe, maybe not. But either way, everyone else’s lives had continued on.
He ignored the introspective thoughts and questions as he made his way downstairs. Outside he caught sight of Mark and Luke dashing through the afternoon shadows near the corner of the barn. Ginny, the older girl with red hair whom he’d met during his first day here, sat on the porch step. She was peeling potatoes, her green gaze darting toward him before skittering away.
“You don’t want to sit in the rocker?” he asked, motioning to it.
She shook her head. “The seat is broken.”
It was something he could fix, if he were staying. Which he wasn’t.
“Well, I’m off,” he announced into the ensuing silence. Where was Ravena?
“She’s plowing one of the fields,” Ginny said with canny perceptiveness.
Tex nodded. “Thank you.” He’d see to his horse, then find Ravena to say goodbye. The imminent farewell made his gut twist with apprehension, though he wasn’t sure why. He couldn’t stay. Now that he could walk around with relative ease, it was time to go.
He ducked into the barn, blinking in the dim light. Jacob had already saddled Brutus as Tex had asked him to earlier. “Thanks for seeing to my horse.” The boy gave a wordless nod. Placing the saddlebags in their proper place, Tex slipped into his jacket and gathered the reins in his hand.
“Goodbye, Mr. Beckett,” a small voice called from above. Tex squinted at the hayloft to see the dark-haired little girl sitting there with her kitten in tow, her legs dangling over the ladder.
“Goodbye...” He realized he didn’t know her name.
Jacob answered his unspoken question. “Her name’s Fanny. She’s my sister.”
“Ah. Goodbye then, Fanny.” He doffed his hat to her. “Thank you for sharing your kitten with me.”
She grinned as if she’d shared something more precious than gold with him, a stranger. “Whiskers likes you and so do I.”
Tex wasn’t sure how to respond, so he simply lifted his hand in a goodbye wave and led his horse outside. Jacob followed him. “Can you hold Brutus while I go say goodbye to Miss Ravena?”
Taking the reins from him, Jacob tossed a challenging look at Tex. “You’re gonna up and leave her without help?”
“Pardon me?”
The lad might only be thirteen, but he stood as tall and determined as any man in that moment. “Miss Ravena. She told us that you two were once friends. So why are you up and leaving?”
Tex rubbed a hand over his jaw—this afternoon he’d finally shaved the beard that had taken up residence on his face. “We were friends, but I was just here to rest, Jacob. Nothing more. I’ve got to, you know...” He gestured toward the road. “I had a life before coming here.”
The intensity left Jacob’s gaze and he lowered his chin. “I know,” he murmured. “It’s just that...well, she needs help. We won’t finish the plowing and get the planting in on time if everyone she hires up and quits.”
A gnawing guilt began to creep over him. Tex folded his arms against it. “Did they give a reason?”
“They say they don’t like havin’ the younger kids underfoot, but I think it’s more the wages.” Jacob pushed at the dirt with the toe of his boot. “Miss Ravena doesn’t have much money to pay them. She still needs to finish the bigger house too, so we can take care of the four boys Mr. Ezra wanted to bring to the farm.”
Tex cut a look over his shoulder in the direction of the fields. “That is a difficult predicament all around.” He might have turned his back on farming years ago, but he’d grown up in this life and remembered well the importance of planting on time in order to reap at harvest.
“I told her I can help with the planting.” Jacob’s boyish shoulders lifted in a shrug. “Other boys my age miss school to help out that way. I can too.”
“That’s not a bad idea, kid.” Tex turned and started walking away. “I’ll talk to her.”
The late-afternoon sunlight warmed him through his jacket as he tromped toward the fields. Up ahead he spied Ravena guiding the plow and the team of horses. He stopped to watch her a moment. Her head was down, so she hadn’t seen him yet, her concentration fully on her task. A worn straw hat shaded her from the sun. Her hair, which she typically wore long and flowing, had been braided and lay down her back.
Even from a distance, her natural beauty struck him hard in the chest. She’d been his world and he hers for so long. And they’d both believed that would never change.
She deserves better than a thief. Tate’s angry words from that night eight years ago were even more true now than they’d been at the time. Tex wasn’t just a thief but an outlaw, with a price on his head, and an angry enemy on his trail. Ravena deserved better than him as a sweetheart or a friend. Regret built beneath his collar and he plucked at it in order to breathe.
Ravena paused in her task to brush her sleeve across her forehead. Her expression changed from one of focus to complete exhaustion as she dropped her chin. She was likely praying, Tex guessed, or crying—or maybe both. Her visible despondency seemed to reach across the field and twist at his heart. She couldn’t
