him—at least for the moment. The only emotion he was left with was one he couldn’t seem to name. Whatever it was, it begged him to pull her into his arms. He shook the errant thought from his head. “Goodbye, Adelaide. Thank you for trying to help me.”
“Goodbye, Chris.”
He left her at the gate, announced to his family that there would be no wedding, now or ever, and said goodbye to Everett. Pastor Brightly left soon after. Chris removed himself to one of the chairs on the porch, feeling tired and bruised.
The sound of the front door opening interrupted his swirling, unmanageable thoughts. He glanced up as his father took the chair beside him. Jaw clenching, Chris shook his head. “You hurt her feelings.”
“I did?” His father frowned and cast a concerned glance down the street in the direction Adelaide and Everett had walked. “That wasn’t my intention. To be honest, I didn’t think you’d let it go this far.”
A beat of silence passed. Chris looked at his father. Olan’s mouth slowly curved upward on one side. Chris straightened in his chair. “You knew.”
Olan lifted an eyebrow and gave a single nod.
Chris’s mouth fell open. “How long have you known?”
“Chris, you are my son. Do you really think I didn’t see your hurt and anger the past few years? There’s also the matter of you flirting with your sister’s friends. The man I raised would never do that while betrothed to someone else.”
“Why didn’t you say something?”
“At first, I wanted to give you time to heal. Then I wanted you to come to me. Finally I just got sick of it and made you as uncomfortable as I possibly could to see when you’d finally break down and tell me.”
Chris hiked his thumb toward the house. “The wedding. That’s what that was about. You actually set me up with a fake wedding, and you say I’m the one who took it too far?”
“It wouldn’t have been a fake if you’d gone through with it.”
“You knew we wouldn’t.”
“Actually, I wasn’t sure. Adelaide’s always had a hold on you. She still does.” Olan waved off Chris’s protests. “I saw the way you kissed her.”
“That was just to keep her quiet.”
“Was it? Because, I’m pretty sure that by the time I slapped you on the back you’d forgotten not only where you were but why you were kissing her in the first place.”
Heat crawled up Chris’s neck. He stood and walked over to the porch rail. “Pa, what are you getting at? Are you trying to make me admit that I care for her? Why? What does it matter now?”
“We men don’t like to talk much about our feelings. I understand that. However, the way I look at it, feelings are a lot like seeds. You can bury them all you want. They’ll just keep growing. The only way to conquer them is to dig them up, bring them to the light and deal with them with God’s help. You’ve kept quiet about what you think and feel for Adelaide for so long. That isn’t a healthy way to live. I want you to talk to me. For the first time in five years, be honest with me and tell me what you’re feeling.”
“I feel...angry. Not just at her, but at myself.” He turned to face his father and forced himself to speak the truth. “I could have fought for her. I thought about it so many times. How hard would it have been to get on a train to Houston and have an honest conversation with her? But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Not after how she threw me away—threw away the future I wanted us to have together. I thought we were in love. I must have been wrong, if she was able to turn away from it so easily. Since then, I’ve just been numb. I tried to find a girl who would be content with that. No one ever was. But maybe now that it’s truly over, I can finally put it all to rest.”
His father was quiet for a long moment. Right when Chris was beginning to feel uncomfortable for revealing all of that, Olan spoke. “What’s stopping you from fighting for her now?”
Chris gave a short laugh. “Oh, I don’t know. Sanity, probably.”
“Hey.” Olan leaned forward, brow furrowed. “I’m serious. You might say you’re ready to put it to rest, but I can see you still have strong feelings for her. You need those settled before you can move on. If you can move on. Maybe all of this is God’s way of showing you that you gave up too soon.”
“Why would you, of all people, want me to go after her?”
“Does it matter?”
“It really does.”
“I’d hate to see you start your marriage to another girl with this hanging over your head.”
Suddenly realizing he no longer had a buffer to protect him from his father’s attempts at an arranged marriage, Chris tensed. “Is this about Bridget Saltzberg?”
Exasperation painted Olan’s features. “The girl’s name is Britta Solberg. And, no. This is about you and the fact that being in love with someone else is a horrible way to start a marriage.”
“Listen, I never said I was still in love with Adelaide. I’m not. If that’s the only reason you think I should fight for her, then it’s not good enough.”
“I think it is. Marriage is challenging enough without that type of strain. Now, I have an idea and I think you’re going to like it.” At Chris’s doubtful look, Olan shrugged. “Well, you’ll like at least half of it. I’ll agree to see a heart specialist in Houston if you’ll agree to figure out your true feelings for Adelaide while we’re there.”
Chris stared at his father. “That, sir, is blackmail.”
“Let’s just call it...motivation.”
“Unbelievable.” Chris sank into the chair across from his father and shook his head in amazement. “You know there is no way I can turn that down. I can’t even try to stall you because the sooner you see a doctor, the better. I almost can’t even be upset at you for doing it because it’s such a brilliant move.”
Olan patted him on the knee, then stood. “I’ve got to take care of a few things before we leave, but there should be a train coming through about noon tomorrow. Be ready to get on it. And come inside. Your ma has a plate for you.”
He’d been outmaneuvered, outthought, outplanned and there was nothing he could do about it. Not that he felt particularly interested in digging through his feelings for Adelaide. What did his feelings matter when she’d made her own stance perfectly clear? Still, for honor’s sake, he ought to at least be in the woman’s general vicinity once or twice if possible. He’d just have to keep his guard up, because there was no way he was going to get his heart tangled up with that woman again.
* * *
If a young lady truly loved my son, no one would be able to persuade her not to marry him.
Mr. Johansen’s words reverberated in her head all the way back to Houston. They hurt, not because they had been cruelly meant, but because they were true. They meant her mother must have been right all along. Adelaide hadn’t loved Chris. What they’d felt had been nothing more than a childish
