she could have sworn he was trying to read her mind. “What really happened, Zoe? Did this guy do more than just push you down?”
“Have you ever had your chute fail—you know, skydiving?” Zoe asked.
He gazed at her for several long moments, but then apparently decided to let her answer his question in her own way. It was a tough question, and if she had to go in circles to answer it, that was okay with him.
“Skydiving, huh?” Jake laughed softly. “Funny you should mention that. Jumping is one of those things I’ve always hated. I mean, I’ve had to do it as a SEAL. It’s part of the package. But some guys’ll jump every chance they get. I’ve always had to force myself to do it.” He paused. “And yes, I’ve had to cut myself free from the main chute more than once. It was pretty damn terrifying.”
“You know that feeling you get right before you pull the backup chute—that sense of complete helplessness? Like, if this doesn’t work, it’s all over?”
Jake nodded. “Oh, yeah. Personally, I like being in control, which is why I probably don’t like jumping.”
“That’s what it felt like today,” she told him. “When Wayne was …” She closed her eyes. “When he was on top of me, tearing at my bathing suit.”
Jake swore softly.
“You want honesty, Jake? For one awful moment, I thought I was going to be raped and that I wasn’t going to be able to do anything to stop it. That kind of helplessness is not a really nice feeling, so you’re right, I’m still a little shaken. But I’ll be fine.”
She opened her eyes to find Jake watching her, a mixture of emotions on his face. Anger. Remorse. Regret. Attraction. The power of his other feelings made him unable to hide his attraction. “Zoe, I’m so sorry this happened.”
“It’s really no biggie. I mean, I was the one who wasn’t being careful. I should have known this particular guy would be trouble. And then I made a second mistake by letting him get too close. I definitely underestimated the situation. If I’m paying the right amount of attention, I’m completely capable of taking care of someone that size. But I messed up. And I almost paid for it.”
“What’s his last name?” Jake asked. “Wayne what?”
“No,” Zoe said. “Sir. No disrespect intended, but I’m not going to tell you.”
“You were sexually assaulted.” His voice broke. “This is not something to just say oh, well about and let go.”
“What are you going to do, Jake? Find him and beat him up? And maybe blow our cover when he recognizes you in a few weeks when you walk into Mel’s bar with Christopher Vincent? Or maybe you think I should press charges? I’m supposed to be a drifter, right? My cover is that I’ve had my share of trouble with the law, that I’m jaded with the system—ready to be enlightened by the CRO’s doctrine. Somehow it doesn’t fit for me to go running to the police and shouting for justice.”
He knew she was right. She could see it all over his face. He had such an expressive, wonderful face.
She leaned closer. “Our job here is to regain possession of that Trip X. That takes priority over everything. Even this.”
Jake exhaled in frustration. “I just … I know. I just hate not being able to do anything.”
She gave him a shaky smile. “You want to do something? You could put your arms around me for a minute.”
He didn’t need more of an invitation than that. He reached for her, and she found herself wrapped in his arms.
He smelled so good and felt so familiar—as if she’d been in his arms far more than just that one other time.
His arms were warm and so solid as he held her tightly, as he stroked her hair. It was funny how much better that made her feel.
It didn’t mean she was weak. It didn’t mean she wasn’t strong. She didn’t need him to hold her, but it sure was nice that he was there.
Zoe closed her eyes, not wanting this minute she’d asked for to end.
She felt him sigh and braced herself, waiting for him to pull away. But he didn’t. And she didn’t.
“God,” he finally said on another sigh, still holding her tightly. “This just feels too good.”
Zoe lifted her head and found herself gazing directly into his eyes. “You say that as if it’s a bad thing.”
He pushed her damp hair from her face. “It feels inappropriate,” he whispered. “Doesn’t it?”
She gazed at the graceful shape of his mouth. “Not to me.”
“I’m not going to kiss you again,” he said hoarsely, pulling away, pushing himself off the built-in couch and all the way across the tiny room. “Not until I have to.”
Zoe tried to smile, tried to make a joke as he slipped on his brown leather flight jacket and prepared to leave. “Gee, I didn’t realize kissing me would be such a negative.”
He turned to give her a long look. “You know damn well that I liked it. I know it wasn’t real, but nevertheless, I liked it too much. I’m leaving tonight,” he added.
Zoe stood up. “Tonight? But …”
“I’m ready as I’ll ever be and this … this is getting crazy. You be careful working at Mel’s,” he ordered. “With luck, I’ll see you in the bar in a few weeks.”
“Jake.”
He stopped with his hand on the doorknob and looked back.
Zoe’s heart was in her throat. He’d liked kissing her. Too much. “I liked it, too,” she said, adding, “kissing you.” As if he’d needed her explanation.
Another man might’ve stepped toward her, pulled her into his arms and kissed her until the room spun. But Jake just gave her a crooked smile that was overshadowed by the sadness in his eyes.
“Be safe,” he said, and walked out the door.
JAKE KNEW FROM THE WAY Harvard cleared his throat that the moment of truth had arrived.
It was time for him to leave. So if anyone was going to try to make him change his mind, it was now or never.
Jake had kind of hoped it would be never.
So much for hoping.
“Permission to speak freely, sir.”
Jake looked from Harvard to all four of the lieutenants, and then at the enlisted men. They were all there but Zoe. She wasn’t part of this. Or maybe the men had intentionally excluded her.
“This isn’t a democracy, Senior,” Jake said mildly.
“At least hear us out, Admiral.” Admiral. When Billy called him admiral, it meant he was dead serious.
Jake sighed.
