not thinking of it as being strapped down,” he said forcefully. “And just because I wasn’t planning what happened doesn’t automatically make it a mistake.”
“I told you that I’m thrilled about the baby,” she said sincerely. “It’s a blessing to me. I’ve always wanted children. But the baby doesn’t make it right for us to...reconnect, does it?”
He touched her jaw, the gesture in combination with his determined stare setting her off balance. His fingers felt warm and slightly calloused against her skin. She blinked in disorientation when he stroked the line of her jaw with his forefinger. “I think what’s right is for us to spend more time together.”
“Because of the baby?” she asked weakly.
His stare bored straight down into the core of her.
“No. Because I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since Christmas.”
Chapter Two
Faith’s pulse began to throb at her throat. She wanted to look away, but was ensnared by Ryan’s eyes.
“Let me take you out to dinner tonight. We need to talk more,” he said.
A battle waged in her breast. Part of her—the part that was getting breathless at the sensation of his skin touching her own—wanted very much to agree. Another part was wary, though. Her attraction for him could get her into a lot of trouble, and that was a potential heartache she’d already had enough of to last for three lifetimes.
Her practical side whispered to her that he only couldn’t stop thinking about her since Christmas Eve because he felt guilty.
And yet she couldn’t just ignore him. No matter how confused her feelings, Ryan was the father of her baby. Besides, she thought, breaking contact with his hand, there was a topic she really needed to broach with him.
“All right. As a matter of fact, there’s something I want us to be on the same page about. It’s about Jesse,” she said.
He went still next to her, like a warrior suddenly sensing danger. “Okay,” he replied slowly. “I suppose it’s an inevitable topic, between us. Might as well face it head-on.”
She gave him a puzzled glance.
“I just mean that Jesse’s the common denominator between us.” He hesitated. Faith had the impression he was choosing his words very carefully. “He must be on your mind a lot. That’s understandable, especially now that...” He glanced briefly at her stomach and then out the front window. His jaw tightened.
Her heart went out to him. She knew from some of the things he’d said on Christmas Eve that he’d considered his actions to be the worst sort of treachery toward a friend. It didn’t matter to him that Jesse had been dead for almost a year when they’d gotten together. Anger splintered through her at the thought. Jesse didn’t deserve Ryan’s show of loyalty. Not when Jesse himself had been so faithless.
“The baby has nothing to do with Jesse, Ryan,” she said coolly, reaching for the door handle. “That’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.”
He put his hand on her shoulder, halting her exit. For a few seconds she thought he was going to demand that she tell him what she’d meant.
“I’ll stop by your house tonight. Say six?” he said instead.
She nodded once, willfully ignoring her heart pounding in her ears, and stepped out of the car.
* * *
Ryan watched her through the window as she walked toward her office. Her figure still looked graceful and slender—from the back, anyway. He hadn’t been able to stop himself from noticing as they sat in the car, however, that her breasts appeared fuller than he recalled beneath the fitted, belted jacket she wore. His thoughts strayed to what she’d felt like on that night—petal-soft, exquisitely sensitive skin sliding beneath his fingertips...his lips.
The sound of the office door shutting behind Faith made him blink. His erotic memories scattered. What was he doing, sitting here fantasizing about Faith when he’d just gotten some of the most shocking, amazing news of his life?
His mind went over their conversation. He’d wondered incessantly if Faith knew about Jesse’s womanizing. Something about her tension-filled reference to Jesse just now had sent a warning bell going off in his head. Was Faith planning to tell him that Jesse would forever be the love of her life, that she deeply regretted their volatile, unexpected lovemaking?
Or was she going to tell him that she knew about Jesse’s infidelities?
Damn.
He didn’t know which possible truth pained him more. He dreaded the possibility of hearing that Faith would eternally be loyal to a man who was gone. He despised the idea of how much Faith would have suffered at the knowledge that Jesse had been unfaithful to her.
He took a moment to try to absorb everything that had happened to him in the past few hours. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t do it.
Faith was going to have a baby, and he was the father.
She planned to raise the child here in Michigan, thousands of miles from where he worked and lived.
Being that far away suddenly become a reality he couldn’t bear.
It was bizarre to realize that just last Christmas, his sister Mari had announced she was going to have another baby. Until a few years ago Mari had been Ryan’s only living family. Mari and her husband Marc Kavanaugh had had a daughter, and Ryan had felt blessed to add another name to the family list. Soon, he’d have another family member. It’d been amazing news to receive, even if there had been a hint of sadness mixing with his jubilation. He was thrilled for Mari, of course, but hearing about her pregnancy had made him wonder if he’d ever experience the same joy firsthand. Romance and women had come easily to him. Finding someone with whom he wanted to spend the rest of his life and build a family had proved to be much more elusive.
Strange, to consider in retrospect, that the same night Mari had announced she was going to have another baby, he’d driven the twenty miles from Harbor Town to Faith’s house and done the unthinkable. He’d created his own.
He’d beaten himself up for losing control that night, but Faith had been so lovely, so fresh...so sweet. Had his admiration for her just been the surface of a much deeper attraction, feelings that had to be repressed given her marriage to his good friend?
He suspected that was the case. The only thing he knew for certain, Ryan thought grimly as he turned the ignition, was that there had been an inevitable quality to what they’d done on Christmas Eve. There was no changing it now. He wasn’t sure he would, even if he could.
Instead of pulling out of the parking lot, he dialed a number on his cell phone.
“Deidre? It’s Ryan,” he said when Deidre Kavanaugh Malone, the client he’d flown to southwestern Michigan answered. Deidre was technically more than a client; she was extended family. Her brother Marc was married to Ryan’s sister, Mari. He’d known Deidre since they were kids spending their idyllic summers in Harbor Town. Deidre had recently inherited a large fortune and was currently one of the wealthiest women in the country, but she
