on his desk. ‘You can always have the procedure redone. I can organise a referral to a surgeon for you.’
‘Yes,’ Alessandro said without hesitation. ‘Yes, I would like you to do that. I want it done as soon as possible.’
The doctor’s brows moved closer together. ‘You were quite young when you had it originally performed. You are what age now…?’He looked down at his notes. ‘Only just thirty-three. You seem very determined about this. Do you want to discuss it with a professional, such as a counsellor or psychologist, first?’
‘No, I made up my mind a long time ago that I do not want to have children.’
The doctor scribbled on his notepad and, tearing the page off, placed it in an envelope and handed it to Alessandro. ‘Let’s hope this time it works,’ he said with a crooked smile.
‘Yes,’ Alessandro said, rising to his feet. ‘Thank you for your time.’
Dr Underwood pushed back his chair and got to his feet as well. ‘If you change your mind at any time about seeing a counsellor, just let me know. You know…’ He gave a somewhat philosophical smile this time. ‘Sometimes these things are just meant to happen.’
Alessandro didn’t respond. He couldn’t. His voice was trapped somewhere deep in the middle of his chest, where he could feel a sensation like a hand squeezing his heart with cruelly tight fingers.
‘You’ve been staring at that phone for the last two hours,’ Roxanne said. ‘He will ring or contact you when he feels ready to do so.’
Scarlett chomped on her bottom lip for the hundredth time that afternoon. ‘I’m so confused,’ she confessed. ‘I’ve been so angry towards him for all this time, but then when I stop and think about what he’s going through I feel terrible. If only he had told me at the time. I would have insisted on a test. I feel partially to blame now for all he’s missed out on. I shouldn’t have let it go. I shouldn’t have let my experiences with my father interfere with Alessandro’s rights as a father.’
Roxanne came over and perched on her desk, as was her custom. ‘Why did he have the cut done in the first place?’ she asked. ‘Does he generally hate kids, or is there some other reason?’
Scarlett leaned back in her chair and blew out a breath. ‘I don’t know,’ she said. ‘I feel a bit ashamed to admit it, but we never really got around to talking about those sorts of issues. Besides, I always knew I was more in love with him than he was with me. He never said the three magic words. I think he was more interested in a short-term affair. He never once mentioned the future—it was as if he didn’t expect to have one, certainly not with me.’
‘He’s absolutely gorgeous looking,’ Roxanne said, and, glancing at the screen saver on Scarlett’s computer, added, ‘Matthew’s the spitting image of him.’
Scarlett put her head in her hands and let out another sigh. ‘What am I going to tell Matthew?’ she asked. ‘He thinks his father is dead.’
‘I think the truth always works best with kids,’ Roxanne said. ‘I hated finding out I was adopted at the age of ten. I should have been told when I was much younger. I know Matthew’s only three, but he’s one smart kid. He understands far more than you give him credit for.’
Scarlett dragged her head up to meet her friend’s gaze. ‘You’re right,’ she said. ‘I need to tell him, at least to prepare him in some way, for once Alessandro finds out the truth I’m sure he will want to take control.’
‘What sort of control are you talking about?’ Roxanne asked with a little frown of concern.
Scarlett’s bottom lip suffered another indentation with her teeth. ‘I’m not sure…but knowing him as I do I think he will want to have things his way. He’s been so confident for so long that Matthew’s not his child. It will be a blow to his ego to find out he is wrong.’
‘Do you think this is just about ego?’ Roxanne asked with another frown. ‘Most men are proud of the fact they can cut the mustard, or whatever the saying is.’
Scarlett couldn’t help smiling, but it faded as she answered, ‘I don’t really know. I’ve met plenty of men who were adamant they didn’t want children. I’ve met women just as strident about avoiding motherhood. As I said earlier, Alessandro and I never really got around to discussing the marriage-and-babies thing. I wanted to, many times, but you know how it is with a new relationship—you tread so carefully in case you scare them off.’
‘But weren’t you on the Pill?’ Roxanne asked.
Scarlett shifted her gaze from the probe of her friend’s. ‘Yes and no.’
‘What does that mean?’
‘It basically means no.’
Roxanne rolled her eyes. ‘Yeah, that’s what I figured.’
‘I was young and naïve,’ Scarlett said in her own defence. ‘I didn’t for a moment expect to become involved in a full-on relationship while I was overseas.’
‘Yes, well, someone should have warned you about men like Alessandro,’ Roxanne said with a wry look.
Scarlett turned to look at the screen saver and sighed again. ‘He’s missed out on so much… Maybe I should have sent him some photos right from the start. I wanted to many times, but then I thought of the way he threw me out on the street that night and I changed my mind.’
Roxanne placed a hand on her shoulder. ‘It’s not your fault, Scarlett. You did your best and he refused to listen. Maybe it had to happen this way.’
Scarlett gave another deep sigh. ‘How am I going to tell Matthew his father is alive?’
Roxanne gave her shoulder a little squeeze. ‘You’ll think of a way.’
‘How was crèche today, darling?’ Scarlett asked as she lifted Matthew into his evening bath.
Matthew’s bottom lip came forward slightly as he settled amongst the bubbles. ‘Robert taked my car off me, one of my favourite ones.’
‘Robert took your car off you,’ she corrected automatically. ‘That’s terrible, darling. Did Mrs Bennett or Miss Fielding get it back for you?’
He shook his head and his little shoulders went down. ‘No.’
‘I’ll have a word to them about it tomorrow,’ she promised. ‘Maybe Robert doesn’t have many toys and really enjoyed playing with yours.’
‘I don’t want to go there any more,’ he said, big tears forming in his hazel eyes as he looked up at her. ‘I want to come to work wif you.’
‘Darling, you know that’s impossible. We’ve talked about this before, lots of times.’
Another little sigh puffed out of his mouth. ‘I know…’
She took a break to prepare herself. ‘Matthew, remember I told you that you didn’t have a daddy, like your cousins Angie and Sam and Michaela have?’
He nodded solemnly.
‘Well…’
