trying to keep the bitterness from her voice. She cleared her throat quickly. ‘Still, I’m glad you love it so much and that you’re still taking care of the gardens. It’s nice to know someone cares about the place despite the owners no longer being around.’ She studied the table.
‘Do you know what you’ll do with it? Bluebell House, I mean?’ Rueben couldn’t seem to meet her eyes as he asked the question and, for the first time, Jessica thought she saw sadness in his own. He really did love that house, she realised, watching his face carefully.
She chewed her lip and looked at Esme for some sort of support, but then finally, she shrugged. ‘I have no idea,’ she answered truthfully. ‘I mean, what am I supposed to do with it? It’s huge, way too big for me. And it’s never really felt like home.’ She allowed that confession to hang in the silent air for a few moments, wanting to take it back as soon as the words had left her mouth.
‘You don’t need to decide right now, dear,’ Esme said briskly, rising from her seat and gathering the empty glasses. ‘You have more than enough time to reach a sensible decision. Anyway, let’s get this lot inside.’
Rueben stood immediately and went to grab some of the empty bowls but Esme shooed him away. ‘And that would be my cue to leave.’ He planted a gentle kiss on Esme’s cheek as he thanked her for the lunch and then turned to Jessica. ‘It’s been lovely to meet you,’ he said, smiling warmly. ‘I hope we meet again soon. I’m sure we will.’ He held eye contact with her for a second longer before turning away and leaving through a gate at the side of the cottage.
‘Such a lovely boy, isn’t he?’ Esme cooed after his departure.
Jessica smiled as she followed Esme inside. She took the plates and cups from the woman’s arms and deposited them in the kitchen sink. He is rather lovely, she thought to herself as Esme closed the back door and joined her to get started on the washing up. Rather lovely indeed.
The following morning, during breakfast in the cosy kitchen, Esme addressed the subject of Bluebell House.
‘You understand that Bluebell House is now your responsibility, Jessica? It’s entirely up to you what you do with it. You can either, keep it for yourself and move in. You could rent it out. Or, you can pack it up, empty the rooms, and sell it on. I’m not going to force you in any direction because whichever you eventually decide to do, it’ll be a big decision to make. We also need to organise an estate agent for if you do decide to sell. Everything else has already been dealt with. There are no outstanding debts, nothing that needs to be addressed. The future of Bluebell House is within your hands.’
Jessica swallowed down a mouthful of warm porridge and surveyed Esme across the chunky wooden table between them. That was quite a lot to take in. She’d acquired Bluebell House. She took a moment to process her thoughts. ‘At the moment I’m leaning more towards the idea of selling it. Bluebell House doesn’t really appeal to me at all, Esme. I know it sounds awful, seeing as it was my parents’ home, and mine years ago, but I just can’t see any reason at all to keep it. I much prefer the idea of passing it on to someone else, someone who would actually want to live there.’
Esme nodded. ‘Like I said, it’s entirely up to you. If selling Bluebell House is what you want to do then that’s what you have to do, dear. I completely understand why you’d want that. It’s your decision to make. No one else can make it for you and I wouldn’t want anyone else to make it for you, either.’
Jessica nodded as she spooned another mound of porridge into her mouth. She didn’t feel capable of making decisions anymore. It was like she’d lost all control of her ability to make up her mind when normally she was brilliant at it. It seemed that when it came to matters of the heart she was still just a little girl.
‘We could always take a walk up there today and see what’s what?’ Esme offered as she rose from the table. ‘If you choose to sell then it’s probably best that you start packing it up as soon as you can. I know you have your job waiting for you back in London, as well as your friends, and there’s an awful lot of stuff in Bluebell House. It may take a while to fully empty it and get everything packed up.’
The thought of going back to Bluebell House filled Jessica with an unpleasantness in her stomach that curled its way around her gut and squeezed tightly. She knew that it was something that she had to do and Esme was right. She did need to get back to London. She wanted to get back. The quicker things in Bluebell Hill were dealt with, the better. ‘Yes,’ she said eventually. She nodded her head as Esme’s words sank in. ‘I think we should go and take a look at it. It’s been a while since I last stepped foot in there and I’d like to make a decision sooner rather than later. There really isn’t any point in dragging it out.’
‘Excellent. Well, I’m ready whenever you are, dear.’
***
After a quick shower and with her damp hair twisted atop her head in a messy bun, Jessica was walking up the lane towards Bluebell House with good old Esme by her side.
She was greeted by the sight of the white tiled roof of her former home first, with its impressive double chimney. As she and Esme drew closer, the entirety of Bluebell House appeared in front of them. Jessica paused on the edges of the gravel driveway, feeling slightly awe-struck by the sight of it so close.
‘Okay?’ Esme asked as she peered at Jessica’s face. The worry was clear to see. ‘Don’t be scared. I’m here so you won’t be alone.’
Jessica took a deep breath and nodded at Esme as they walked towards the house. It looked resplendent, basking in the soft sunshine that Bluebell Hill seemed to be graced with every day. Summer was fast approaching and despite it still being early morning, the heat was already thickening the air around them.
The wraparound porch of Bluebell House conjured images of big American family homes, full of laughing, happy children and adoring parents. These images in Jessica’s imagination only emphasised how lacking her own childhood had been in both aspects. Stepping into Bluebell House again was going to be hard but it was something that she needed to do.
They took the steps that led up to the porch. Jessica looked up to the top of the house and blinked. It was huge. She felt miniscule standing directly in front of it. She eyed the stained-glass window that was set charmingly within the dark wood of the front door. It was an image of the hill full of bluebells. The greens and the blues vivid and striking. She continued to stare at it, becoming lost in the beautiful creation.
‘Jessica?’ Esme whispered, nudging her slightly. ‘Dear, is everything—’
‘I’m fine,’ she choked out quickly. She took the key from Esme’s outstretched fingers and winced as the cold brass of it touched her skin. She turned back towards the door, slipped the key into the lock and, with a click, the door unlocked and she was able to push it open and step inside Bluebell House.
‘Gosh, this takes me back a bit,’ Esme murmured as she followed Jessica into the pristine hall.
The polished, cherry hardwood flooring shone, with not a scuff or a single mark to be seen. The hall stretched right the way to the back of the house. It was all very grand and shiny, so much so that you’d think no one had ever lived there.
Esme lingered beside the staircase, allowing Jessica space and time to glance around herself and to take it all in. It felt so strange to be back
