the story?”
I rubbed my face, and took a deep breath. “I’ve agreed to exchange bookshops with Sophie in Paris. It all happened so quickly…she Skyped yesterday, and I said yes, without much thought.”
There was an audible intake of breath from the girls. For the first time ever they were rendered speechless. Usually they’d chatter away and talk over the top of one another. I threw my head back and laughed. “Girls, I’m not going to Antarctica, or climbing Mount Everest. I’m going to Paris.”
Lil cleared her throat, and composed herself first. “Wow, Sarah, just…wow. In a million years I would never have imagined you’d leave your shop. You love your shop. Your books are your babies.” Her bright blue eyes were wide with astonishment as she emphasized each point. Pregnancy suited Lil, her complexion was rosier than normal, and her blonde hair seemed to grow overnight, falling down her back in effortless shiny waves. Her face though, paled at my announcement. Did she think I was making the wrong choice?
Lil hurried on: “It’s not that I don’t think it’s a good idea. I just…” her words fell away.
“Ain’t nothing gonna change here. Youth is fleeting, I’ll tell you that for free. There comes a time where you either fish or cut bait, cherry blossom…go on and do what you gotta.” CeeCee, the warm-hearted mother hen of our group, said.
Customers milled by the counter, waiting to order, but the girls were still too shell shocked to notice. I pointed them out to Lil. “Won’t be a minute,” she said, smiling to them, her cheeks now pink from disbelief.
“What does that incredible hunk of a man…?” CeeCee’s eyes glazed over, as she lost her train of thought. “Mmhm, Mr Rippling Abs, if I was forty years younger…” her voice petered off and we all stifled giggles.
“Cee!” Lil said, faux scandalized. “Can you focus?” We giggled into our hands. CeeCee had pet names for all of our partners, and always threw in the same line about being forty years younger. She was at the pointy end of her sixties, and spritely as a teenager despite her plump frame.
CeeCee was looking past us, lost inside her daydream. Her head snapped back. “What? Just ‘cause I’m an old woman that don’t mean I can’t appreciate beauty! My eyesight still works plenty fine! And when I see that boy, and the way he struts up that street like he owns it, all smoldering-eyed, strong-jawed perfection, I just can’t quit starin’. Then there’s that sculpted body o’ his, I say to myself, I says, ‘now Cee, when it comes prayin’ time tonight, you remember to thank the Lord for that fine specimen o’ a man, it’s the least you can do’.”
I almost spat out a mouthful of coffee, and tried my hardest to swallow it down without choking. Missy cackled like a witch and Lil gave Cee an astonished stare.
“I think,” Lil said to me, trying to keep her belly-grabbing laughter in check. “You might want to tone down the bodice rippers you’re lending to Cee. They may be affecting her health.”
We lost our tenuous grip on our composure and laughter burbled out of us. “I don’t know, Lil,” I said. “I think she has a point. He’s definitely not ugly.”
Lil nodded. “Can’t argue there.”
“And then there’s you,” Missy said, surveying my face. “You even look French, Sarah – like a French ingénue with your beautiful black, bobbed hair, and big fathomless eyes.” Missy had a thing about boosting people up, she only saw the good in a person and threw compliments around like confetti. Even if she thought Paris was a crazy idea, she would’ve supported me, it was just her way.
“Imagine you two in Paris, a couple of gorgeous love birds strolling along. That man is so in love with you, I bet he proposes…you’ll be walking along, your hair wet by rain, he’ll be gazing at you with those mesmerizing eyes of his…” Missy got lost in her imagination.
I laughed. “Admit it, you’ve been reading the books I gave Cee?”
Missy guffawed. “Yeah, who knew I’d become so addicted? But honestly, I think despite your outwardly quiet demeanor, there’s a firecracker inside of you just bursting to get out. This will do you good, finding yourself in a place as romantic as Paris. And that man is the perfect match for you.”
I smiled at Missy, unsure of what to say to such thing. It was too soon to even contemplate marriage, but I did wonder about the future. Ridge with his uber drive and ambition to succeed was at odds with my more gentle attitude. I was happy enough to float through life, book in hand, caught up in a fictional world. But was that my problem? The reason sometimes I couldn’t sleep? There were times I worried that I wasn’t trying hard enough to live in the real world. Everyone I knew had a goal, whether it was having children or expanding their businesses. And yet there I was, muddled by it all, so afraid that if I left the familiar I wouldn’t be able to handle it on my own. I’d slept walked safely through life and it was time to wake up, and smell the…croissants.
“Ridge does his own thing, and it’s time for me to find out what I want from life, other than reading, as much as I love it.”
I wasn’t sure if Ridge was completely comfortable in Ashford. He was a New Yorker through and through, and thrived on the hustle and bustle of big city living. He was competitive and determined, speeding from one story to the next. Here, if you rushed anywhere people would think you were being chased by a killer plague of zombies, or something.
“You’ve come a long way from the girl who used to try her hardest to be invisible,” Missy said, softly, remembering the old me, the one I was trying hard to shed. I’d had a range of issues growing up, all linked back to an incident in childhood, that like tumbleweed, rolled along gaining momentum until I was lost inside myself. The fallout from it still echoed. But it’d been these girls who pulled me from the safety of my books, and into the real world despite my protests.
“Ain’t that the truth. We sure are proud o’ you.” CeeCee hefted her bulk from the sofa. “Let me serve these customers ‘fore a protest starts.”
“Good for you. If this is what you want, we support you a hundred percent.” Lil had rolled into the dip in the sofa, in CeeCee’s absence. She righted herself and pulled a cushion onto her lap, rubbing her big pregnant belly absently. In a wistful tone she said, “It’ll be so weird glancing over at the bookshop and seeing someone else there.” Her voice caught.
Missy plucked a tissue from the table and dabbed at her heavily made up eyes. “I haven’t had a crying jag for the longest time, and I’m not gonna start again now. So hear me out, I’m gonna say it real fast…You leaving will be like a piece of our heart is missing, but that’s because we love you. We know you’ll flourish over there. Just don’t stay there forever, OK?”
I gave her a grateful smile and moved to hug her.
“Golly,” Lil said, her eyes shiny with tears. “Pass me a tissue!”
CeeCee trundled back. “Oh, glory be, I leave y’all for one minute and come back to a blubber fest!”
We settled back down, and stared at one another, before bursting into laughter.
“So,” Missy piped up. “When are you leaving?”
I averted my eyes. “In two days.” It was too soon, but maybe that was for the best. Less time to panic I’d made a mistake.
“Two
