stared at each other for a long moment, neither speaking. Megan’s brain was scrambling for what to say next. A dozen replies reached her lips, but none passed. Each of them sounded too much like an easy, flippant retort.
But what if she put her cards on the table and he freaked? After all, he hadn’t chosen her as his wife while she had fallen in love with and married Will Sanders. Granted it had been the wrong Will, but she’d enjoyed plenty of time to think about what she did and didn’t want out of her marriage. And the truth was, after the fireworks of their courtship, marriage to Will’s imposter was a low point in her life.
“Did you love him?”
Megan regarded Will, trying to determine what was at the heart of this question. Was he wondering if she still loved him? The simple answer was no, but she hadn’t married Rich Lowell. She’d married Will Sanders. Or, at least, she’d thought she had.
“I wouldn’t have married him if I didn’t love him,” she declared, still unsure what that said about her judgment.
Looking back she realized that Rich Lowell had been a poor man’s copy of Will, lacking depth, character and compassion. So what had attracted her to him? Had she loved the man or who she’d believed the man to be?
Megan had no good answer and that bothered her immensely. Would she ever be able to trust herself to make the right decision when it came to love?
A muscle jumped in Will’s jaw before he answered. “Of course.”
Was Megan fooling herself to think she detected the slightest hint of disappointment in his manner?
“I promised you the truth,” she said, “and saying that I loved him is a straightforward answer to a complicated situation.”
Will nodded. “I imagine you have all sorts of crazy mixed-up emotions when it comes to Lowell.”
Not just Lowell.
“Not when it comes to him.” Megan traced the pattern of the pillow she held on her lap. “Our marriage wasn’t all that great. He became a completely different person after the wedding.”
“How so?”
“When we first started dating, he was the most romantic man I’ve ever known. He sent me flowers and called just to say he missed me. I got swept off my feet.”
“Sounds like he was a better me than me,” Will said with a self-deprecating grin. “I’ve never worked that hard to get a woman to like me.”
“But you’re Will Sanders. I’m sure most of the women you date don’t require much encouragement to fall hard for you.”
“Why? Because I’m wealthy? And easy on the eyes?” The corners of his mouth kicked up, but Megan noticed a hardness around his eyes. He was pretending to poke fun at himself. Pretending his experiences over the last year hadn’t changed him.
“Don’t forget successful in everything you do. Every guy wants to be you. Women want to be with you.” Even as she spoke Megan realized he no longer took all those things for granted. How hard it must have been for him to come back from whatever he’d gone through in Mexico only to discover the man he’d thought was his good friend had betrayed him in every way possible. “And you’re a good man.”
“My psyche isn’t all that fragile,” he said and this time his irony appeared real. “You don’t have to assure me I’m okay.”
“I don’t know,” she replied. “You seem to be blaming yourself for things that aren’t your fault.”
“I can’t get off the what-if merry-go-round.” Green eyes steady and grave, he gave her an unrestricted look into his soul. “I spent a lot of time thinking while I was down in Mexico.”
“What happened to you in Mexico?” she asked, emboldened by the whiskey and what she’d shared of her own troubles to step into uncharted territory.
Something haunted flitted through his gaze and then he was shaking his head. “That’s not a conversation for tonight.”
“Sure.” She withdrew into herself like a spooked turtle. “I’m sorry I asked.”
“Don’t be.” Will reached out and dusted his fingertips over her knuckles. “I’m still coming to grips with some of the things that happened, but I know I need to talk to someone about it. I’m just not ready.”
“I hope when you are ready that you know you can talk to me.”
“I appreciate the offer.” He got to his feet and held out his hand, signaling an end to their exchange. “Are you ready to see your room and get some rest?”
His fingers were firm and warm against hers. As she rose to stand beside him, he gave just the tiniest squeeze, a comforting gesture that sent a spike of longing through her. The whiskey and conversation had lowered her defenses. More than anything she wanted his strong arms around her tonight. She’d expended all her bravery in her escape from Lowell and had none left to fight her attraction to Will.
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