It had to be.
She couldn’t be pregnant. Not feeling as hollow as she did in that moment.
Blinking, she stared down as all her fears and hopes coalesced into the quiet sob that broke from her lips.
She waited for the relief to wash through her and drown out everything else. Only it didn’t come to abate the sense of loss that had overwhelmed her before the timer had even sounded.
Feeling more tired than she could remember, she gave into the pull of gravity and sank onto the side of the tub, holding out the stick for Levi. She couldn’t look at him. Not right then. Not with the cacophony of emotions clattering around inside her.
“What’s this mean?” he asked, his voice hoarse.
“Negative. It’s your get-out-of-jail-free card. Not pregnant.”
Within the small confines of the room, she waited for him to say something. Let out a whoop of relief. Send up a prayer of gratitude. Something.
But the silence between them only stretched. She could feel his eyes on her. But couldn’t sense whatever emotion was behind it.
Probably because there wasn’t any. The guy was too cold for feelings. He’d been ready to write a check and walk away without a backward glance.
From his own child.
She shook her head. No. There was no child. She wasn’t pregnant.
And yet she felt the betrayal as though she were.
Levi took the test from her hand. “They aren’t a hundred percent accurate.”
No, they weren’t. “I’ll take the other one in the morning. The hormones or whatever causes the reaction are supposed to be more concentrated then. I’ll call and let you know.”
Another pause, and she wondered if he was going to make her say the words.
Ask him to leave.
Why wouldn’t he? He’d planned on asking her to raise his child on her own. What were a few uncomfortable words.
But then the floorboards creaked beneath the shift of his weight and he cleared his throat. “We’ll talk tomorrow.”
Elise wasn’t pregnant.
Levi still couldn’t quite get his mind around it. Couldn’t feel the relief that should have been the flip side to the dread accompanying the belief she was. The truth was he didn’t feel much of anything. Hadn’t since he’d walked out her door the day before.
Maybe it was fatigue.
After giving up on the idea of sleep he’d gone for a run around 3:00 a.m. Given up on that around five and dragged himself home and into the shower. Did some work until noon, when Elise messaged that she’d managed to get an appointment with her physician, who’d confirmed the results—citing stress as the most likely culprit behind her missed period.
Now, Levi leaned back in his office chair, closing out one spreadsheet after another. Dragging the plans and provisions he’d been making for Elise and a baby that didn’t exist across the well-ordered computer desktop and into the “Trash” bin.
It was nuts, but a part of him was disappointed he wasn’t going to be giving Elise the money for her studio. He’d even toyed with the idea of offering it to her regardless—as an investment. Only he’d discarded the idea as quickly as it came to him. The last thing he needed to do was find another way to bind himself to Elise.
And considering the follow-up text to the news that she wasn’t pregnant—“Free this afternoon? We need to talk.”—he imagined Elise wouldn’t be too fond of the idea either.
It shouldn’t have hurt. After all, she knew she was doing the right thing. And for all practical purposes, the relationship was already over—having ended with the words, “That’s exactly what I’m telling you.”
But when Elise opened her front door, it felt as though the man walking through it was a stranger. The neat kiss pressed against her brow belonging to someone she’d never met. The subtle underlying connection that had been so much a part of every moment spent with Levi … gone.
She recognized the body, but the man she’d thought she’d known wasn’t anywhere to be seen, and the stark realization that maybe he’d never been there at all was another shocking blow to her heart.
The sad confirmation that her desperate hopes Levi would show up and say all the right things—somehow convince her he’d realized he could never actually do what he’d suggested; better still, that she’d managed to completely misunderstand the blatantly clear words he’d spoken—were futile. Another bitter pill to swallow.
She hadn’t wanted to believe it. Couldn’t truly, after Levi had done so much for her. Shown such generosity and affection. But maybe it was only because those acts had been on his terms. Maybe he was one of those men who gave and gave when it suited them, but couldn’t be relied upon if you really needed something and had to ask.
She didn’t know. Would probably never understand. But hopefully at some point, she’d get over it.
Elise pushed the door closed as Levi walked into the living room and settled into the facing couch. Elbows resting on his widespread knees, fingers steepled beneath his chin, he watched as she sat across from him. “Get any sleep last night?”
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