throwing concerned glances Olivia’s way as she rubbed the boy’s back in slow, circular motions.
Of all people, she understood the loss he was grappling with—only in reverse. She’d had a hard time processing the sense of loss she felt, not being able to get pregnant. The loss—or empty spot—in her life that Jamison’s and her child was supposed to occupy. It felt like a gaping hole in the place where her heart beat. Some days she wanted to sob on someone’s shoulder, too, but instead, like Kevin, she’d chosen the stoic path.
She pulled the weeping boy closer. Holding him, for the first time ever, she felt that gaping hole begin to close.
“Duck?” Danny murmured.
“Duck,” she whispered, smiling at him through her own unshed tears.
Once the boys were settled in the dining room at the table enjoying milk and cookies with the other Children’s Home residents, Olivia and Pam retreated into Pam’s office.
Pam slid in behind her desk and Olivia claimed the chair facing it.
“Here’s the report from Danny’s doctor.” She nudged a slim stack of papers across her desk toward Olivia. “Karen filled me in on Danny’s condition. Apparently, he was recently diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, and he had just started speech and behavior therapy before the holidays.”
Olivia skimmed the report. “So, he’s not enrolled in school yet?”
Pam shook her head. “He just turned three in November and I believe they were waiting until after the first of the year to enroll him in a public school exceptional educational program. But with all that’s happened, we’re going to have to talk to his doctor and see what he suggests is the best course of action. The little guy has had so much to digest, losing his parents and all, that I’m not certain starting him in a new program right away will be the best thing.”
The fifteen other kids who lived at the Children’s Home were all in school. That meant Danny would need someone to look after him during the day. Pam would have to bring in one of the part-time employees to help out. It would further tax the organization’s already stretched budget.
“I can come in a couple of days a week to help out,” Olivia offered. She wished she could offer more—for one quick, insane moment, she was about ready to offer for Danny and Kevin to come live with her. But it was an irrational thought. Completely emotional and off the cuff. With her steady lineup of doctor’s appointments, she’d be lucky to be able to give Pam two solid days of help per week.
Her heart was breaking for the boys. She wanted to ease their grief and give them … a home. But what would happen once her baby arrived? Reflexively, she slid a hand over her stomach.
She couldn’t adopt them. No, it was best to let the boys get settled into their new home. That was the right thing to do.
Even so, why did leaving them here feel completely wrong?
Chapter Eight
Three days later, Olivia awoke early and placed yet another call to Jamison. It was New Year’s Eve and she’d been trying to reach him for the past two days. All the calls went to voice mail, and he had yet to return a single call.
As she’d done at least a dozen times already, she left yet another message.
“Jamison, it’s me. I don’t understand why you’re not calling me back. I’m worried.”
What she didn’t say, despite the urge, was that it was six o’clock in the morning and she couldn’t reach him at home, the office or on his cell.
What was with this sudden change in him? Just a few days ago, everything seemed so good. Now here she was, wondering not only if her husband was letting business preempt their plans, but also if maybe he was going to stand her up altogether.
No. He wouldn’t do that. Would he?
In the months that they’d been separated, he’d never gone more than a day without calling her. And he’d certainly never let her calls go unanswered. She didn’t understand the sudden change in him, which sent her into another spiral of panic that maybe something was wrong.
She had no choice but to call McInerney to make sure Jamison was okay. She got his voice mail, too.
“Cameron, hello, this is Olivia. I’m trying to reach my husband. When you talk to him, will you please ask him to call me? Thank you.”
She hung up the phone in disbelief. All the worry and anxiety on top of this being the day that Dr. Demetrios would have her test results.
Nervous, she brewed herself a cup of cinnamon apple tea and took the delicate china cup upstairs to the window seat in the master bedroom.
The cold December air seeped in through the windowpanes. From her perch on the third floor, she could see across Commonwealth Avenue, over the tops of the stately trees that lined the street where she lived, straight into Public Garden. The garden and adjacent Boston Common were an oasis in the heart of densely populated downtown Boston. A sanctuary laced with gorgeous statues, it was a haven even in the dead of winter.
Olivia pressed her hand to the glass and the cold bit her palm, as if it were taunting her. When she and Jamison had purchased the house, proximity to the lovely park was one of the things that completed their dream house. Since the day they’d moved in, Olivia had fantasized about arranging long playdates at the park for their children, and spending leisurely Sunday afternoons on a picnic blanket while Jamison tossed the football with their kids.
The ringing phone startled her from her reverie and she spilled hot tea on herself as she stumbled for the phone.
Finally, she thought as she grabbed up the receiver.
“Jamison?”
There was a long pause on the other end of the line before a male voice—not Jamison’s—said, “Good morning, Mrs. Mallory. This is Cameron McInerney. I hope I’m not calling too early, but I see on my call log that you called a few moments ago.”
“Yes, I did. Is Jamison okay?”
Another pause. “Yes, ma’am, he’s fine. In fact, he asked me to call you and let you know that his flight gets in at six this afternoon. He will be home shortly thereafter.”
Confused as to why Cameron was calling her rather than her husband taking the time to do so, Olivia paced as she listened.
“Cameron, I appreciate your call, but why isn’t Jamison calling me himself? I have been leaving messages for days.”
Again, Cameron paused a few beats too long. Finally, he said, “I don’t know, ma’am. I’m simply relaying the message he asked me to deliver.”
When they hung up, a chill seemed to permeate the air. Something wasn’t right. Despite how she tried to blame her uneasiness on nerves over her appointment with Dr. Demetrios, Olivia knew she was justified being upset with Jamison.
Couldn’t he even spare five minutes to call her himself?
At least he still planned to be home this evening, and she had a doctor’s appointment to get ready for.
