froze.
Everything went blank.
The bookmark—it was an ultrasound photograph of Kit’s child.
Of his child.
He snapped the book shut and rested his head in his hands. A baby. A child.
He lifted his head, darkness surging up to fill the empty places inside him. He wasn’t doing that again. He couldn’t.
You don’t care what’s best for our baby. All you care about is what’s best for you.
Kit didn’t understand. Him getting out of her and the baby’s lives—that would be best for her and the baby.
And for you too.
He nodded heavily. And for him too. It didn’t stop a part of him from feeling as if it were dying, though.
When he finally fell asleep that night, Alex had a nightmare about Chad. He raced through a darkened mansion, his legs wooden and heavy, his heart pounding faster and faster as he searched for the two-year-old. Chad’s laughter, always just out of reach, taunted him and spurred him on. The rooms in the mansion went on and on. He tried calling out Chad’s name but his voice wouldn’t work. His legs grew heavier and heavier. It took all his energy to push forward. He pulled open the final door, surged through it, to find himself plummeting off the edge of a cliff.
He woke before he slammed into the jagged rocks at the bottom, breathing hard and with Chad’s name on his lips. He lay in the dark and tried to catch his breath, his skin damp and clammy with perspiration. He tried telling himself Chad was safe, living somewhere in Buenos Aires with his mother, but that didn’t ease the darkness that stole through his soul.
Before he and Kit had made love, he hadn’t had a nightmare about Chad in over ten months.
He shoved the thought away. It wasn’t Kit’s fault she made him feel things he hadn’t felt in a long time. It was his fault for giving in to temptation. Biting back a groan, he pushed up into a sitting position. Past experience told him he would get no more sleep tonight. He dragged a hand down his face. That was okay. There was still plenty of cleaning to do.
A sharp rap on the front door just after nine o’clock had Alex falling over his feet to answer it before the noise of another knock could wake Kit.
The woman who stood on the other side raked him up and down with bold, unimpressed eyes. ‘I’m Caro,’ she said without preamble. ‘Kit’s best friend.’ She didn’t stick her hand out. ‘Doreen rang me. I take it you’re Alex?’
‘That’s right.’
She folded her arms. ‘I’ve heard all about you.’
He gathered none of it had been complimentary.
‘How’s Kit?’
‘Asleep,’ he ground out.
‘All night?’
‘She was up—’
She brushed past him into the living room. ‘She’s not supposed to be up!’
He clenched his jaw till he thought his teeth might snap. He unclenched it to say, ‘The doctor said she was allowed up to have a quick shower once a day.’ He felt like a schoolboy hauled up in front of the principal. ‘She had breakfast, took her antibiotics and now she’s sleeping again.’
‘You’d better tell me you prepared her breakfast.’
Who the hell did this woman think she was? He was tempted to shove her back out of the door again. ‘Look, I’m worried about her too. I mean to make sure she follows the doctor’s orders to the letter.’
‘I’m going to pop my head in to check on her.’
‘Don’t wake her,’ he growled.
She tossed him a withering glance before disappearing down the hallway that led to Kit’s bedroom.
He scowled after her. She had another thing coming if she thought he was offering her coffee.
Darn it! She was Kit’s friend. He stalked into the kitchen and put the jug on to boil.
Caro entered moments later. ‘You and me—’ she pointed to him ‘—outside, now.’
He blinked. ‘Are you calling me out for a fight? I’ve got to warn you, Caro, I don’t hit women.’
She smiled sweetly. ‘It should be a walkover then, shouldn’t it?’ She glared and held the back door open. ‘I want to talk to you and I don’t want to disturb Kit while I’m doing it.’
And she was itching to bawl him out. It didn’t take a degree in economics and a finely honed ability to read people to figure that one out. He decided it might be safer if Caro didn’t have a hot drink in her hand. He preceded her out of the door and into the back garden. Kit’s bedroom faced the street. They shouldn’t disturb her out here.
‘How long before you shoot through again?’
Again? What did she mean, again?
He rolled his shoulders and scowled. If he’d known Kit was pregnant he wouldn’t have left for Africa when he had. He’d have … delayed it for a week? a sarcastic voice muttered in his head.
He thrust out his jaw, folded his arms. ‘I’m not leaving today. I told Kit I’d be here for her and I will be. There are things we need to sort out.’
Caro folded her arms too. ‘You can forget it if you mean to offer her money.’
‘This is none of your damn business.’
‘Kit is my best friend. I love her. Can you say the same?’
For a moment he couldn’t utter a single word. The same suffocating shroud that had blanketed him at Frank and Doreen’s last night twisted about him now.
‘Exactly what I thought,’ she snorted. ‘You’re going to turn tail and run.’
‘I am not!’ he shot back, stung by the loathing in her voice. He’d wanted to bolt yesterday, but he was still here now, wasn’t he? ‘And I have to pay child support. It’s a legal requirement.’ That was only honourable and right.
She stuck out a hip. ‘You’re a right piece of work, aren’t you?’
His jaw dropped.
The next moment Caro’s face was wreathed in smiles. ‘Hey, honey-bun, you’re supposed to be in bed.’
He turned to find Kit in the doorway. She raised an eyebrow in his direction. ‘You’re still here.’
Had she thought he’d do a runner while she was asleep? He straightened. That was exactly what she’d thought. He forced himself to grin—no stress, the doctor had said. ‘Sure I’m still here.’ She was still convinced he meant to abandon her.
