a real father to Zack when Zack was growing up, but with Jenny—Silas Decker had never been anything but supportive, positive and encouraging with her even before his wife had died. Maybe that’s because Jenny hadn’t been a disappointment to him. Or because she had stepped into the role that Zack had been groomed for but had refused.
“I’m going to see him now.” Zack steeled himself for the visit, knowing he did have to distance himself from this experience and whatever happened next.
Surprising him, Jenny crossed to him and touched his forearm. It was just a whisper of a touch, no pressure at all. Yet Zack felt the fire of it. He felt his body respond to it, and he pulled away before she could guess what was happening. But not before he saw the disappointment on her face that they couldn’t have a heart-to-heart about this.
There would be no heart-to-hearts, not tonight, not in the days to come. He didn’t do that because letting himself be vulnerable would only invite pain. He’d seen it with his parents. He’d felt it with Jenny, and he’d certainly experienced it in L.A.
He headed for his father’s cubicle, not knowing what to expect.
Zack walked into the glass enclosure and stopped short. Silas’s eyes were closed and his complexion was ashen, almost as gray as the hair fringing his head. His mustache was still black but streaked with gray, too. His father was a strapping man—six foot tall and husky. He’d gained weight over the past ten years. Seeing him like this, lying in a bed in a hospital gown, hooked up to IVs and God knew what else, Zack had to absorb the fact his father was aging.
What had Zack thought? That the years would keep passing and his father would remain the same?
His dad’s eyes fluttered open, and he stared at Zack for a few seconds without speaking. Finally he said hoarsely, “You came.”
Still struck by his father’s appearance, Zack didn’t respond.
“You didn’t want to come, did you?” Silas asked, sounding more like his old self. “This is a duty call.”
Was that true? Not entirely, but he didn’t admit it. “You had a heart attack,” he said without answering the question.
Silas gave a slight shrug. “That’s what Jenny tells me. The doc uses words that don’t make any sense, and tomorrow, well, I don’t know what’s going to happen. There’s always a chance—”
Zack stepped closer to the bed. “No, there isn’t. You’re going to have what’s called a cardiac catheterization. It’s going to show what’s wrong and your doctor is going to fix it.”
“Sometimes you can find out what’s wrong and not be able to fix it.”
“You can’t think that way going into it.”
“And here I thought you’d like it if I just faded away and you didn’t have to deal with me anymore.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.” Zack said the words, but he did feel guilty. Hadn’t he often wondered what life would be like without his father’s carping?
“Don’t lie to me. The truth is the truth is the truth.”
No matter what had happened before, Zack said with certainty, “I want you to be well. I want you to be healthy again. Jenny is worried sick about you and she needs you.”
His father swallowed, looked away for a moment, then back at him. “She’s the daughter I never had. Her own father’s a fool for not realizing what a gem he has in her.”
Silent, Zack considered Jenny’s background and the year he’d been closer to her than he’d ever been to anyone.
Silas asked, “What are you thinking about?”
After a few moments’ reluctance, he answered, “How much Jenny meant to Mom and you.” And how she’d refused to go with him to L.A. That thought still had the power to bring back bitterness and regret.
“I need you to promise me something,” his father entreated in a low, serious voice.
“What?” Zack asked warily.
“With me out of commission, Jenny can’t handle the burden of the Rocky D on her own. She’s taken over even more responsibility the past couple of months with management of the ranch as well as training the horses, but it’s all too big for any one person. So no matter what happens tomorrow, will you stay a month, six weeks, and help her get a handle on whatever has to be done?”
“Dad—”
“I know it’s a lot to ask. I know this isn’t your life. You have big fish to fry. Well, the Rocky D has big fish, too. I know you think I have no right to ask anything of you. That might be true. But Jenny’s going to need some help, and you’re the only one I trust to give her that help.”
If his father had asked for his own benefit, Zack might have been able to turn him down. But the way he’d put it, how could Zack refuse? Still, he had commitments of his own.
Silas continued, “You could set up shop at the Rocky D for a while. There’s plenty of room. You could have your own office in the east wing.” He hesitated. “I have a home theater there now, too.”
The sliding glass doors of Silas’s cubicle opened and a nurse bustled in. “Time’s about up,” she said gently but firmly. “Your father needs his rest.”
Zack knew that was true. He also knew state of mind could make a big difference if his father was to recover. No, he didn’t want to stay. No, he didn’t want to get roped back into a life he’d left behind. No, he didn’t want to be around Jenny and feel that old tug of desire they’d shared.
“Think about it,” his father said.
Zack knew he wouldn’t be able to do much else.
The following morning, Jenny paced the waiting room while Zack worked on his laptop. She didn’t know how he could concentrate with his dad undergoing the heart catheterization. Even during the night as she’d tried to doze on the sofa, she’d caught glimpses of images flickering on the laptop screen where Zack studied them and tapped the computer keys. He hadn’t slept at all.
When he’d returned from seeing his dad last night, he’d been remote and silent. This morning, after visiting Silas again, he’d been the same. Just what was going through his head? Once, so many years ago, she would have known. For the past fifteen years, she hadn’t had a clue. For the gazillionth time, she thought about what might have been if she hadn’t lost their baby. Quickly she shut down those thoughts.
With a long, blown-out breath, Zack closed the lid of the machine, pushed it deeper onto the side table, stood and rolled his shoulders. His muscles rippled under his black T-shirt. Above the waistband of his khakis, she could glimpse just how flat his stomach still was.
“Do you do that often?” she asked, feeling wrinkled and rumpled and not as put together as he had always looked no matter what he wore. The lines around Zack’s eyes were deeper now, but other than that he looked … as charismatic and sexy as ever.
“Work through the night? Oh, yeah. Especially when we’re on deadline.”
“For a movie?”
