he knew now. The last thing she’d needed during a pregnancy was dealing with his problems. “I don’t see any reason to tell her the whole story.”
“You can dole out the advice, Kevin, but you can’t follow it.”
Kevin couldn’t remember giving his brother any advice worthy of notice. “What are you talking about?”
“When you were in the hospital, you told me I needed to drop my guard and confide in Erica or risk losing her. I did that, and look how well it turned out. Now you have a chance to do the same thing, and you’re not even going to try.”
“There’s no point in trying. It wouldn’t change anything.”
“Why do you think that?”
Because a few major issues still prevailed. Issues that prevented Kevin from attempting to win Leah back. “First of all, Leah hates lying and even if my intentions were good, she’d have a hard time buying it. Secondly, she wants a big family, and I might not be able to give her that because of the chemo.”
“Why don’t you let her decide if that matters?”
On to the most important issue. “It’s too late for us, Kieran. She’s already involved with someone from her hometown. I’m pretty sure he’s the reason why she’s decided to set up practice in Mississippi once her fellowship is done. And I’m also sure that’s why she gave me this.” He held up the envelope. “If I sign on the dotted line, I’ll terminate my parental rights.”
“You’re not seriously considering that, are you?” Kieran looked and sounded incredulous.
Kevin had seriously considered it all through the night. Yet every time he thought about walking away from his daughter—a child he had yet to see, the only child he might ever have, he hurt like hell. He hurt just as deeply when he thought about walking away from Leah. Again. “On the one hand, I keep telling myself no way would I let another man raise my child. On the other, maybe that would be the unselfish thing to do. Maybe I’m not cut out to be a father.”
“Just don’t make any rash decisions until you take one more important step,” Kieran said.
Kevin suspected his brother was about to ask him to do something he wasn’t prepared to do. Not until he knew which road he was going to take. “If you’re going to say I need to tell Mom and Dad about the baby, I’m not ready to do that.”
“That’s not what I was going to say.”
Kevin’s impatience was nearing the breaking point. “Then just say it, Kieran, so I can go work out.”
“Forget the workout. Go see your baby girl, Kev.”
“THERE’S SOMEONE here to see you, Leah.”
At the sound of her roommate’s announcement, Leah looked up from Carly, who’d drifted to sleep at her breast. “I didn’t hear the doorbell.”
Macy moved into the room and secured a band around her wavy blond hair. “That’s because he didn’t ring the bell. I was on my way out when I found him standing on the doorstep, looking like a stray dog.”
Leah suspected she knew the identity of that stray dog. “Did you manage to get his name?”
“I didn’t bother, but I can tell you what he looks like. Dark hair, dark eyes, good-looking in a slick kind of way. Come to think of it, he looks just like her.” She pointed toward the still-sleeping infant in Leah’s arms.
Oh, great. “Leave it to Kevin to show up unannounced,” Leah muttered, though she had no cause to criticize him. Yesterday she’d done the same thing.
Macy’s eyes widened. “Kevin, as in the baby-daddy Kevin?”
“That’s the one.”
“I thought you weren’t going to tell him.”
“I changed my mind.” Or lost her mind, as the case might be.
When Leah moved the baby to her shoulder and stood, Carly released a little whine of protest. “Hold her for a minute. She needs to be burped.”
Macy looked as if Leah had asked her to perform an appendectomy on the dining-room table. “I don’t know nothin’ ’bout burpin’ babies.”
Leah grabbed a towel from the side of the rocker, draped it over Macy’s shoulder and handed Carly over. “Just pat her back a couple of times.”
When the baby released a moderate belch, to say Macy looked frazzled would be a grave understatement. “What if she hurls on my scrubs?”
“That’s what the towel’s for, but she’s not going to hurl.” Leah, on the other hand, fought a twinge of nausea over the thought of facing Kevin.
After buttoning her blouse, she took Carly back into her arms, popped a soft kiss on her cheek and laid her in the bassinet positioned next to her bed. “Tell him I’ll be right out as soon as I’m presentable.”
Macy scowled. “Who cares what you look like? He’s the sperm donor, not your prom date.”
Ignoring her friend, Leah moved in front of the bureau’s mirror and ran a brush through her hair. “Be that as it may, he’s still Carly’s father.”
“He’s a jerk, Leah. He doesn’t deserve to be a father.”
Leah stared at Macy from the mirror’s reflection. “You’ve never even met him.”
“But I know what he did to you, and that makes him an A-one jackass in my book.”
Leah turned and leaned back against the bureau. “Just tell him I’ll be with him in a minute, okay?”
Macy shrugged. “Fine. Mind if I kick him in the jewels on my way out? If I do it hard enough, that could prevent him from procreating again.”
Leah pointed the brush at the door. “I would prefer you deliver my message without any violence and then go to work.”
“You’re absolutely no fun,” Macy said as she did an about-face and marched out of the room.
Going back to the mirror, Leah took a long look at her appearance and grimaced. Her face showed the signs of fatigue, right down to the bloodshot eyes. Balancing a baby’s needs and a busy schedule had begun to take its toll. She applied a little lip gloss then scolded herself for believing she had to make herself up to see Kevin. Macy was right; this wasn’t a date. At least not in the traditional sense. A date with destiny could be in the offing, depending on Kevin’s reasons for showing up unannounced.
She walked back to the bassinet to find Carly still snoozing, her fists balled up at her chest, a smile playing at the corners of her mouth. Evidently her daughter was having a sweet baby dream, completely unaware that the man responsible for her birth was waiting in the next room.
Leah wondered if Kevin would ask to see his child. If so, maybe she should change Carly into something more appropriate than the yellow, hand-me-down sleeper. Another silly idea. Carly was an infant, for goodness sake, and she wasn’t required to impress her father. If Kevin couldn’t see
