drawing in a deep breath, Leah walked into the tiny living room to discover Kevin seated on the floral chintz sofa, looking somewhat weary. He also looked incredibly handsome in an expensive navy silk suit with a white tailored shirt, sans tie. She hated the flutter of awareness, the remembrance of a time when she would have greeted him with a kiss. Hated that he could still move her so easily into those memories, those feelings that were best left unfelt.
“A phone call might have been nice,” she said on the heels of her exasperation. “But then you were always full of surprises, Kevin.” Some very nice surprises, and some not so nice.
He came to his feet, his gaze fixed on hers. “I had an appointment downtown this morning. Since I was so close, I decided to stop by.”
That explained his business apparel, even if it didn’t provide all the answers Leah required. “How did you find us?”
“Your address was on the envelope you gave me, remember?”
Actually, she hadn’t remembered. “Did you have a business meeting?”
“I met with my accountant.” He pulled an envelope from the inside of his jacket pocket. “This is the outline of the trust fund I’m setting up for Carly. The actual documents haven’t been drawn up yet because I want you to look over this first and make any changes. You’ll have complete access to the funds and if you need more, you only have to tell me.”
After a brief hesitation, she took the envelope from him. “As I’ve said before, I don’t expect you to be financially responsible for Carly if—”
“I know what you said, but she is my responsibility, and I want to provide for her.”
Leah wondered if a monetary obligation was the only tie he planned to have with his baby. Still, she’d gladly accept anything that would give her child a better life, at least until she had all the student loans paid off and her private practice up and running. “I’ll take a look at it and get back with you. Anything else?”
“I’d like to see her.”
At least that answered one of Leah’s questions, and prompted some concerns. But now that she’d involved Kevin in the situation, she had no good reason to deny him, particularly when he seemed so sincere. “She was sleeping when I left her a few minutes ago, but I guess you could take a peek.”
Leah led Kevin into her bedroom that also served as the nursery. When she moved to the bassinet, she discovered her daughter wasn’t sleeping at all. Instead, Carly was intently focused on the multicolored mobile dangling above her.
Leah sent a quick glance over her shoulder to see Kevin standing near the door, as if uncertain what he should do next. “She’s awake, so you can come closer.”
He took his place beside Leah and stared down on Carly, who favored him with a smile, as if she somehow sensed he was a special guest.
“She’s started smiling a lot in the past month,” Leah said.
Kevin didn’t respond, but the awe in his eyes spoke volumes. “She’s beautiful.”
Leah couldn’t agree more. “She’s a good baby, as long as she’s fed and dry. But she does have an occasional bout of mild colic and a little bit of a temper that comes out when she doesn’t get what she wants right away.”
He remained quiet for a time before asking, “May I hold her?”
Leah certainly hadn’t prepared for the question, even though that would be a logical request from a first-time father. Regardless, she gestured toward the rocker next to the crib. “Have a seat and I’ll hand her to you.”
After Kevin complied, Leah lifted the baby from the bed and laid her in the crook of his arm. Carly smiled at him again and Kevin smiled back. “Hey, kiddo. I’m your dad,” he said, his voice soft, almost reverent.
Leah couldn’t count the times she’d envisioned this scene, under very different circumstances. She’d often engaged in the happy-family fantasy of three. A pipe dream that would never come to pass, even now. But she couldn’t refute how natural he looked holding his daughter. Couldn’t discard the surge of emotions, the threat of tears as Kevin closed his eyes and pressed his lips against Carly’s forehead as he held her close to his heart.
This beautiful man, who had never mentioned wanting children, looked as if he, too, was battling his own emotions over seeing his child. But Leah had to remember this was only one special moment. Possibly a goodbye moment.
A brief time later, Kevin slowly stood and laid the baby back in the bassinet. When he faced Leah again, he pulled another envelope from his pocket. “I stayed up most of the night thinking about these papers.” He opened the flap and withdrew the document. “And here’s what I really think about them.”
After setting the envelope on the rocker, he turned, systematically shredded the paper and tossed the remains into the nearby trash bin. “She’s my daughter, Leah, and I want to be a part of her life. I need her in my life.”
When Leah was able to speak around her shock, she asked, “You’re absolutely sure about this?”
“Yes, and I want to prove it.”
Leah hugged her arms tightly to her midriff. “How do you propose to do that?”
“By taking care of her while you’re working.”
And Leah had just thought she couldn’t be more astounded. “That’s not necessary. I have her enrolled in a good day care.”
“And I have a flexible schedule—I can devote my time to her.”
This proposition was almost more than she could digest. “Do you understand what that entails, Kevin? All the feedings and changing and bouts of endless crying?”
“I understand that completely, and I’ll handle it. And now that I’m here, there’s something else I want to address.” He looked around the area, focusing on the double bed crammed into the corner. “Does Carly have her own room?”
“It’s only a two-bedroom apartment, and I have a roommate, which is why Carly’s in here with me.”
He sent her a sly grin. “Oh, yeah. Your roommate. The one who looked like she wanted to castrate me before she left.”
At least Macy hadn’t delivered the groin kick. “She’s nice when you get to know her.”
He gave her a Yeah, right, look before surveying the room again. “I don’t know a lot about babies, but isn’t Carly going to outgrow that bed soon? And it seems to me you don’t have room for a bigger one.”
That ruffled her maternal feathers. “This apartment is all I can afford right now, Kevin, and I promise you that she’ll have a full-size crib when the time comes, even if I have to sleep on the floor.”
He looked altogether cynical. “That’s a great idea, Leah, sleeping on the floor. I’m sure that’s going to provide you with a lot of rest before you have to make life-or-death medical decisions.”
Leah recognized he had a point, and she had another suggestion. “Then I’ll sleep on the sofa.”
He
