it was for procreation.”
She flinched. During the hormone treatments, she’d tried to explain to him how the side effects sometimes made her feel like a stranger in her own skin. But David, for all that he paid lip service to “being there” for her, could grow impatient with discussions that didn’t have easy answers. If she tried to tell him that she didn’t feel like herself, didn’t feel sexy, he’d roll his eyes and tell her that she was being neurotic, that she looked just fine to him. Somehow, being called neurotic wasn’t a big turn-on for her.
“If I seemed uninterested,” he continued, “I was just trying to respect your wishes. I wanted to take care of you.”
“I know, David. But that’s not what I wanted.” They were supposed to take care of each other, except that he’d never seemed to need her.
“You don’t consider that part of a husband’s job?” He was looking distinctly irritated now. “Taking care of his wife?”
“It’s a nice sentiment, but you got more and more…” Paternal? That would not sit well with him and wasn’t exactly what she meant anyway. “We don’t have to talk about this.”
“You mean you don’t want to talk about it.”
Her hands trembled as she uncoiled lights. “We’re supposed to be having a fun, festive family evening. Why ruin it with accusations that won’t change anything that’s happened?”
“You’re right.” He took his end of the lights toward the outlet, the electric string stretched out between them. A second later, the entire strand began twinkling white in a cheery rhythm.
Rachel sat back on her heels. “Looks like they all work.”
“Yeah. Guess there’s nothing here I can fix.” With that, he spun on his heel and left.
Which was only fair, she supposed. After all, she’d left him first.
DINNER did a lot more to restore Rachel’s spirits than she would have guessed possible. She sat safely buffered between her father-in-law and Lilah. The bride-to-be chattered excitedly about her upcoming wedding. Everyone else was mostly free to nod and enjoy the home cooking. Susan’s food was the old-fashioned, hearty kind that comforted the soul, carbs be damned.
When Arianne finished eating, she pushed away her plate and interrupted discussion of flowers, lace and music with a wicked grin. “You haven’t mentioned the most important part—the bachelorette party!”
Tanner groaned.
Arianne ignored him. “Come on, Li. I’m the maid of honor. It’s part of my job description. I wasn’t even legally old enough to participate in the champagne toast when Rachel and David got married—you’re not going to rob me of my fun now, are you? Besides, it will drive my brother crazy wondering what I have in store, and he picked on me a lot when I was younger.”
Smacking a hand to his forehead, Tanner asked, “Would it help if I apologized for that now?”
“Not so much,” Arianne said sweetly. She turned back to her friend. “You trust me, right?”
Lilah laughed knowingly. “Not even a little. Rach, you’ll help Arianne with the party plans, won’t you? Make sure she doesn’t get too crazy.”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Rachel heard herself say. “Maybe we could all use a crazy girls’ night.”
“Yes!” Arianne clapped her palms together. “Good to have you on board. Now, Lilah, you have a valid passport, right?”
Throughout the rest of the meal, Rachel and Arianne brainstormed facetious party ideas, each more outlandish than the last. If anyone noticed that David wasn’t laughing quite as much as the rest of the family, no one drew attention to it. Clearing the table went quickly with so many helping hands, and they adjourned to the dining room, where the bare green Christmas tree waited.
“Aunt Shelby always popped popcorn to string on the tree,” Lilah told them, “but Uncle Ray and I usually ate most of it.”
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