sent the boy anything. Lordy, today there seemed to be pitfalls in even the simplest conversation.
Joe was grim-faced as he fitted the final top branches in place.
Ellie went to the CD player and made a selection—a jaunty version of Jingle Bells. She hoped it would lift the dark mood that had lingered since her mum’s annoying dire warnings on the phone.
Determined to shake off the grouchiness, she went to the second carton and took out boxes of exquisite tree ornaments. Decorating the tree had always been her favourite Christmas tradition. Today it was sure to lift her spirits.
‘Ooh! Pretty!’ Jacko squealed, coming close to inspect.
‘Yes, these ornaments are very pretty, but they’re made of glass, Jacko, so you mustn’t touch. They can break. I’m going to put them on the tree, and they’ll be safe there. They’ll make the tree beautiful.’
Jacko watched, entranced, as Ellie hooked bright, delicate balls onto the branches. She knew it was too much to expect him not to touch but, before she could warn him to be very gentle, he batted with his hand at a bright red and silver ball.
Ellie dived to stop him and Joe dived too, but they were both too late. The ball fell to the floor and smashed.
Ellie cried out—an instinctive response, but probably a mistake. Immediately, Jacko began to wail.
It was Joe who swept the boy into his arms and began to soothe him.
Ellie was left watching them, feeling strangely left out. She waited for Jacko to turn to her, to reach out his arms for her as he always did when he was upset. But he remained clinging to Joe.
Joe. Her son’s new, big strong hero.
She refused to feel jealous. If she was honest, she could totally understand the appeal of those muscular, manly arms.
Once upon a time Joe was my hero, too. My tower of strength.
Now, she would never feel his arms around her again.
Yikes, where had that thought sprung from? What’s the matter with me?
She hurried out of the room to get a dustpan and broom and, by the time she returned, Jacko had stopped crying.
Joe set him down and the boy stood, sniffling, as he watched Ellie sweep up the glittering broken pieces.
‘I told you to be careful,’ she felt compelled to remind him as she worked. ‘You mustn’t touch these pretty ornaments, or they’ll break.’
‘He’s too little to understand,’ said Joe.
Ellie glared up at him. ‘No, he’s not.’ What would Joe know about little kids?
Joe shrugged and looked around the room. ‘Perhaps we can find something more suitable for him to play with. Something like paper chains? They might distract him.’
Ellie had actually been thinking along the same lines and it annoyed her that Joe had made the suggestion first. ‘So you’re suddenly an expert on raising children?’
‘Ellie, don’t be like that.’
‘Like what?’
Joe simply stared at her, his blue eyes coolly assessing.
Oh, help. It was happening already. All the old tensions were sparking between them—electricity of the worst kind. Dangerous. Lethal.
All she’d wanted was a simple, relaxing afternoon decorating the tree.
‘There are paper chains in those shopping bags,’ she said, pointing to one of the cartons. Then, summoning her dignity, she rose and took the dustpan back to the kitchen.
By the time she returned, Jacko and Joe had trailed bright paper chains along the shelves of the bookcase and they were now looping them around a tall lamp stand.
The CD was still playing. The singer had moved on to Deck the Halls, and Ellie set about decorating the tree again, hoping for peace on Earth and goodwill towards one particular man.
She couldn’t deny that Joe was great at playing with their son. Every time Jacko became too curious about the tree, Joe would deflect him. They played hide and seek behind the sofa, and Joe taught Jacko how to crawl on his belly, Commando style. Watching this, Ellie winced, sure that Joe’s injured leg must have hurt.
She almost said something about his leg, but held her tongue. He was a big, tough soldier, after all.
Joe hid Jacko’s teddy bear behind a cushion and the boy squealed with delight every time he rediscovered the toy. After that, Jacko played the game again and again, over and over.
Ellie tried really hard not to feel left out of their games. She knew that the nanny, Nina, played games like this all the time with Jacko, while she was out attending to chores around the property. But she’d never imagined macho Joe being quite so good with the boy.
It shouldn’t have bothered her. It didn’t bother her. If Joe was proving to be an entertaining father, she was pleased. She was even grateful.
She was. Truly.
Meanwhile, the Christmas tree became a thing of beauty, with delicate ornaments and shiny stars, and trailing lines of lights and silver pine cones.
After Jacko’s umpteenth game of hiding the toy bear behind the cushion, Joe strolled over to inspect Ellie’s progress.
‘It’s looking great,’ he said. ‘Really beautiful.’
His smile was genuine. Gorgeous? It sent unwanted warmth rippling through her. ‘At least it helps to make the house look more festive.’
Joe nodded and touched a pretty pink and purple glass spiral with his fingertips. ‘I remember these. We bought them for our very first Christmas.’
To Ellie’s dismay, her eyes pricked with the threat of tears. Joe shouldn’t be remembering those long ago times when they were still happy and hopeful and so blissfully in love.
‘I’d rather not rehash old memories, Joe. I don’t think it’s helpful.’
She saw a flash of emotion in his eyes. Pain? Her comment hadn’t hurt him, surely? Not Joe. He had no regrets. Not about them. He’d gone off to war without a backward glance.
And yet he definitely looked upset.
Ellie wondered if she should elaborate. Try to explain her caution.
But what could she explain? That she hadn’t meant to hurt him? That, deep down, she still cared about him? That the memories were painful because she cared?
How could those sorts of revelations help them now? They couldn’t go back.
Confused, Ellie felt more uptight than ever. She spun away from Joe and began to gather up the empty boxes and tissue paper that had housed the decorations, working with jerky, angry movements.
To her annoyance, Joe simply stayed where he was by the
