anything about horses.”
“Just like he doesn’t know anything about what teenage girls are into. It’s up to you, but I know your dad does care about you. He wants you around. That counts for something. Maybe if you seemed interested in something he knew about, it could help with that bonding you mentioned.”
“I wouldn’t be in the way?”
Sara smiled. “April and I get in the way. Ryan is always in the way. You’re the one Josh wants around.”
“I think he wants you around, too,” Claire said softly, then asked, “Is Ryan your boyfriend?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Do you have a boyfriend?”
“Nope.”
“Do you want one?”
Josh’s face came to mind, and Sara tried to ignore the shiver that curled through her belly at the thought of his mouth on hers. “I’ve given up on men.”
Claire studied her, looking suddenly older than her thirteen years. “Aren’t you a little young for that?”
“I’m twenty-eight. That’s like one-foot-in-the-grave time in Hollywood.”
Claire nodded as if she understood. “My mom turned thirty-one last year. That’s when she started to freak out. Party more. She gets Botox and some other wacky stuff.” Claire stood and looked in the mirror above the dresser, pinching two fingers to the bridge of her nose. “She said I could have my nose done as a sweet sixteen gift. That’ll be cool. I might look a little more like her and she’ll...”
Sara turned Claire to face her. “Listen to me. You are perfect the way you are. Plastic surgery isn’t going to change your relationship with your mother.”
“You don’t know—”
“I do know. I spent years jumping through hoops to win my mother’s approval. Guess what? Never happened. Maybe it never will. I hope it does for you, Claire. I hope your mom gets healthy and realizes how precious you are to her. Until then, I know your dad loves you. Even if he isn’t great at showing you how much.”
“I just want to fit in here,” Claire said miserably, her green eyes, so like Josh’s, welling again.
“I know, sweetie.”
“Would you take me shopping sometime?” Claire asked. “None of my clothes are right for Colorado, you know?”
Sara thought about the women in Feathers and Floss. “Are you looking for Wranglers and studded belt buckles?”
“No.” Claire laughed. “Just clothes to hang out in. If you don’t have time, I understand.”
Sara gave her a quick hug. “I have time. How about before the weekend? I’ll drive us down to Denver. We can make it a girls’ day out. Go to lunch. Get our nails done.”
“Really?”
“Of course, I may only be able to afford one sock, but we’ll do our best.”
“Dad has money. I could ask if we can use his credit card.”
Sara almost choked from laughing so hard. “I bet he’d love that.” She pushed the hair off Claire’s innocent face. “I pay my own way. But, heck, yeah, we’ll get his card for you. A shopping trip is one thing dads are always good for.”
“Was your dad good for that kind of stuff?”
Sara’s father had been a nameless stuntman on one of her mother’s B movies. An on-set fling for Rose, who hadn’t even told him she was pregnant and had never shared his identity with Sara.
“I don’t know my father.”
“Oh. I guess it’s good that Josh wants me to live with him anyway.”
“He doesn’t like it when you call him Josh.”
Claire grinned. “I know.”
“How much did you see him before this summer?”
“A couple of times a year when he had time off from the tour. He’d come to my school and take me out to dinner. He sent me presents from the road. Lots of stuffed animals and things like that. I’d never been to the rodeo until...” Claire wrapped her arms tight around her chest. “The accident was my fault. Did you know that?”
Sara had read a half-dozen articles about the horrific accident that had ended Josh’s career. It still made her sick to her stomach to think about the images she’d seen on YouTube. But none of the reports had mentioned Claire. “Why do you say that?”
“I was there.” Claire scrunched up her face. “Mom was having a bad time. It was winter break and she was stuck with me. She found out there was an event a few days before Christmas and flew us both down there. I think she wanted to dump me with him for the holidays. She didn’t tell him we were coming. Right before he came out of the gate, he looked up and saw me. It broke his concentration.” Claire drew in a shaky breath. “They let the bull go right at that moment and...” Her voice broke off as she shook her head. “The whole arena was silent when it happened. I thought he was dead. The bull was so big and it landed right on him.”
“Claire.” Sara drew the girl into another tight hug. Sara had been through some bad stuff as a kid, but this poor girl gave her a run for her money in the bad-childhood department.
“They took him to the hospital straight from the event. I didn’t see him again until he showed up on the last day of spring semester.” Claire wiped her cheek against Sara’s sleeve. “If I hadn’t been there, he’d still be riding.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” Sara whispered against the girl’s head. “It was a terrible accident. But not your fault. Not your fault.”
“But I—”
“Have you and your dad talked about what happened?”
Claire didn’t answer.
“I’m sure he doesn’t blame you.”
“He should.”
“You need to talk to him.”
“No,” Claire whispered. “I don’t want to hear him tell me I ruined his life.”
* * *
Josh sagged onto the wall outside his daughter’s bedroom and swallowed against the bile that rose in his throat. He’d come to find her minutes ago but stopped short when he’d heard her conversation with Sara.
He didn’t blame Claire for the accident. His break in concentration was his own fault. He’d been riding bulls long enough to know his focus should be zeroed in on the thousand pounds of angry animal between his legs. But when he’d seen Claire, he’d been thrown. Literally and figuratively.
Apparently, they’d both paid a price for his lapse in focus.
In
