and tensing and standing and tensing. Trying to stop herself from swaying, she shifted from one foot to the other, ignoring the sharp pain that shivered up her leg, and was so very grateful that she hadn’t fallen over or fainted or shown herself up in any way. In fact, she was feeling pretty proud of herself.
At the operating table Matteo was deep in conversation with the medical students, showing them the difference between a renal vein and an adrenal one. She knew that herself, having studied it ad infinitum on the internet—firstly through her fingers and with noise-cancelling headphones. Then, as her confidence had grown and she’d remained upright, with more and more ease. Still not exactly comfortable, but less at risk of falling over. The good thing was that she knew what to expect, what was going to happen, and so knew when to look away or sing a little song in her head to mask the commentary.
Watching him work, she had a full flush of something like nerves, which she knew was all part of the attraction she now admitted she felt for him. And it was rash and stupid and she just wanted it to go and leave her in peace. Because before she’d ever laid eyes on that spectacular pair of buttocks she’d been quite happy. Okay, so maybe she’d been feeling a little like she was missing out on something in her life. But not enough that she’d been bothered to care. Work had been too all-consuming and she’d liked it that way.
But now? Now she wanted to put her hands on him again. To feel that chest fall and rise under her fingertips. To feel his lips pressed against hers.
His voice floated over to her as she focused on the floor and controlled her breathing. ‘Yes … thanks for the help, guys. Great job. Now we can go and talk to the boy’s parents with an update. Then off to the Dragon for Friday night drinks,’ he was saying. ‘Not too late for me today as I have to prepare for tomorrow. It’s going to be an incredible game. You just wait, we’ll give your team a good thrashing.’
‘Can’t believe you got tickets for Twickenham,’ someone answered him. ‘How much did you pay for them?’
Matteo laughed. ‘I sold my soul. But it will be worth it. This time tomorrow we’ll be two tries up, three if we stick to the game plan. Go, Italia! Okay, everyone, let’s go.’
So they were finished for the day. Just fine. The OR staff bustled around her as Matteo flicked his gloves into the bin. ‘Congratulations, Ivy, you have mastered the art of watching an operation.’
She smiled—not wanting to admit that she’d spent the better part of the time not looking where everyone else had been looking. She knew the floor intimately. ‘Well, it hardly warrants congratulations, but I’m feeling pretty elated for the patient and his family after such a long wait and worry. How long will it take Joey to feel better?’
‘Almost immediately. He’ll be a little groggy, but the cadaver kidney is working—clearly, we need to keep a very close eye on it—but the magic works straight away.’ Taking her by the shoulders, he steered her out of the OR and pointed towards a door. ‘I need to talk to the parents and my covering on-call staff … I’m not rostered on this weekend but I trust them completely,’ he explained. ‘Go sit down in there and wait for me. I’ll be in shortly to debrief.’
‘I should really get back to my desk. I’ve got an important case coming up next week that I really need to do some work on.’
His eyes darkened as he shook his head. ‘And you can work all through the night and every hour of the weekend once you leave here. But, Ivy, it’s been a long day. Just go in there and sit for a few minutes. You are allowed to rest. In fact, I insist and I’m the doctor. This is my domain and I call the shots. Go. I’ll be in soon.’
‘Okay. Okay.’ To be honest, she was feeling just a little too exhausted to argue. God only knew how he felt after concentrating so hard for so long, and now he had to pull on a smiling face and meet anxious parents. It had been an emotional day, and a seemingly endless one. ‘You can have two whole minutes, but then I do need to go. Cases don’t get won by sitting around, doing nothing.’ She started to walk towards the door and her heart lifted at the promise of a seat, but she couldn’t resist adding, ‘But … for the record …’
His eyes flashed with something as he turned back to her. ‘Yes?’
‘You did really well.’
‘I know.’ His shoulders relaxed and he laughed. ‘Praise from you? Wow, what can I say?’ He patted his heart and with a sarcastic grin said, ‘It means so much.’
‘It should. I don’t give it lightly.’
She slipped into the staffroom, slumped onto the sofa and kicked her shoes off. Wow. That felt good. Rubbing her left foot with both hands, she massaged the gnarls and dips and scars and eventually managed to get the blood flowing properly, and gradually the numbness started to ease. What they’d achieved in there had been truly amazing. In Matteo’s words, they’d given Joey a future. That was something to be proud of. But how could he do this, day in, day out? How could they all? It was exhilarating but so emotionally draining.
One thing she knew—he’d been right when he’d suggested she live a little in his world. Now she felt she understood that it was intense and necessary and so, so important.
But so was hers. Behind-the-scenes stuff that kept them all focused and kept everyone away from harm. They both had their roles to play.
But now … exhaustion dropped over her as she laid her head back and closed her eyes, just for a moment …
‘Hey, Ivy.’
Was it a dream? A dark, soothing voice that worked magic over her skin. ‘Ivy?’
Not a dream. Actually, here in person. Better than a dream. Or worse. She was here. He was here. Alone. And … hell, she was sleeping. That was so not the way she wanted people to see her, especially people like him.
Her eyelids shot open. He was close, kneeling on the floor next to her, an easy, teasing smile on his lips. ‘Ivy? Are you okay?’
‘Oh. Hello, Matteo. I … er …’ She sat bolt upright, shoving her feet back into her shoes. Had he seen? ‘Whoa, how long was I asleep for? I should be getting back to work.’
‘No. Wait. Here.’ He handed her a hospital-issue white porcelain cup with something that smelled like heaven in it. ‘Drink this first. I smuggled it in from Enrico’s so don’t breathe a word to anyone.’
He’d brought her coffee? Staring at the cup, she grimaced. ‘Did you put poison in?’
‘Me? Poison the enemy? I wouldn’t stoop so low. Besides, I get the feeling I’ve won this part of the battle.’
‘I think I’m starting to see things a little from your point of view. But that doesn’t mean I’m backing down or admitting a darned thing.’ She took a sip and smiled, leaning her head back against the lumpy cushions. He’d brought her coffee? She didn’t want to read anything into that. ‘It’s perfect. Thank you. How did you know what I liked? Guesswork?’
‘When I described you to Enrico he said you always have the caffe lungo. Americano … Grande … whatever you all call it here. Strong and black.’
She didn’t know what to say. ‘Thank you. That’s very nice of you.’
When he’d stormed into her office that first day she hadn’t imagined he could be like this. She’d jumped to the conclusion that
