I should let you get some sleep.”
“Did I say something wrong?” she asked, looking troubled. “Because if it bothers you to talk about your ex, we can talk about something else.”
Frankly, he was all talked out. He wasn’t sure what else to say to her. And he wished she would stop being so. nice. Not that she hadn’t been nice before, but she’d always had an edge. A sharp wit and a razor-edged tongue. Now she was being so sweet and understanding, she was making it tough for him to hold on to his anger. To be objective.
“You didn’t say anything wrong. It’s just, well, it’s been a really long day. Maybe I’m the one who’s tired.”
“I’m sorry, I’m being selfish,” she said, looking truly apologetic. “I didn’t even take into consideration how hard this has been for you.”
“It has been a long couple of weeks not knowing where you were,” he said, which only made her look more guilty. “I’m sure I’ll feel better after a good night’s sleep.”
“Go,” she said, making a shooing gesture. “Get some sleep.”
“Are you sure? I can stay longer if you want me to.”
“No. I’m tired anyway. I’ll probably watch a few minutes of television then fall asleep.”
He had the distinct feeling she was lying, because honestly, she didn’t look the least bit tired. But he wasn’t going to argue.
“I’ll be back first thing tomorrow,” he assured her, rising from the edge of the bed.
“Thank you,” she said, her expression earnest.
“For what?”
“Telling me those things about myself. It makes me feel a little less … lost. Even if it wasn’t quite what I expected.”
“You’re welcome,” he said, and leaned down to brush a kiss across her forehead. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
As he walked from the room he heard the television click on. He couldn’t help feeling the slightest bit guilty for leaving her alone, but he had a charade to plan.
It turned out that Ash didn’t need the help of the tech guys at Maddox Communications to hack into Melody’s computer. After only five or six tries, he figured the password out all by himself. His birthday. The fact that it was something so simple surprised him a little, but he was grateful.
His first task was to remove evidence of Melody’s affair from her computer, only she must have been very careful because he found nothing, not even a phone number or an entry in her calendar, that suggested she was sneaking around.
As for the baby, there were a few doctor appointments listed on her calendar, and the history in her Internet browser showed visits to several children’s furniture store sites and a site called Mom-to-be.com, where it appeared she had been tracking her pregnancy—she was fourteen weeks and four days on the day of the accident—and blogging on a page for single mothers.
Apparently she had every intention of doing this alone. Was it possible that the father of the baby was nothing more than a one-night stand? A glorified sperm donor?
He skimmed the entries she had written, hoping to find a clue as to who the man was, or the circumstances surrounding their relationship. But after more than an hour of reading, all he’d learned was that the baby’s father was, in her words, not involved. He noted that some of the earlier posts dated back to the weeks before she left him. It was also clear, by the tone of her posts, that she was very excited to be a mother, which surprised him.
She had always been so independent and career focused, he didn’t think she even wanted a family. Of course, that was never something they talked about. Maybe because she knew that if she wanted children, she wouldn’t be having them with him. Not naturally anyway. Knowing that he couldn’t father a child of his own, he’d resigned himself to the idea of not having them at all.
What he found even more disturbing than the information about the baby was a file folder with electronic copies of her report cards. They dated back the past four semesters. Whenever Ash asked her about school, which admittedly wasn’t very often, Mel claimed things were going great. Which was hard to believe now that he saw that she had been clinging to a low C average, when he knew for a fact that in her first year she’d never scored anything lower than an A minus.
It was as if she had lost her interest in the law. But if that was the case, why hadn’t she said anything? It was true that they didn’t normally talk about those kinds of things, but going to school for a career she no longer wanted seemed worth mentioning. Especially when he was shelling out the money for her tuition.
The more Ash looked through her files and read her e-mails, the more he began to realize that after three years together, he barely knew Melody. She lived a life that, outside the bedroom, had little to do with him. And though that was the way he’d always wanted it, he couldn’t help but feel … indignant. And maybe a little angry with himself for not taking the time to get to know her better.
He may have been there for her financially, but even he had to admit that emotionally, he’d been pretty much vacant.
Which was exactly what they had agreed to going into this relationship, so he had no absolutely no reason to feel as though he had wronged her somehow.
If that was true, why did he feel like such a jerk?
Maybe his ex was right. Maybe he’d been too cold and distant. Maybe he used work as an escape from dealing with the ups and downs of his personal relationships. And maybe, like his ex-wife, Melody had grown tired of the distance. Tired of being alone.
Regardless of what she felt, that was no excuse to be unfaithful. If she wanted more, she should have leveled with him. Although for the life of him, he wasn’t sure what he would have told her. If she had given him an ultimatum—a real relationship or she would find someone new—would he have been able to just let her go? A real relationship just seemed like so much work. More than he had time for.
But he was here now, wasn’t he? He had made the time for this. Didn’t that tell him something?
Sure it did, he just wasn’t sure what. But he knew that at some point he was going to have to figure it out. Maybe it was simply that being with Melody had been very easy, and he wasn’t quite ready to give that up.
Unfortunately, remembering how good things had been made her betrayal sting that much more.
Just as he promised, Ash was back at the hospital as soon as visiting hours began the next morning. He was dressed casually this time, in slacks and a silk, button-down shirt. And she could tell, as he walked into the room, a sly grin on his face, that he was holding something behind his back. Probably flowers.
“Wow, you look great,” he said, and she knew he wasn’t just saying it to be nice because the nurse had said the same thing.
“I feel really good,” she admitted, and she was pretty sure it had a lot to do with him. Before he came to see her yesterday she had felt so depressed and alone. As though she had nothing to look forward to, no reason to get better. Everything was different now. She was engaged to be married, and had a home to return to. A whole life to explore and relearn. What more could she ask for?
“I
