have to make mistakes. That’s part of being human.’
‘No,’ she disagreed. ‘There’s a difference between making a mistake and being abused.’ And Rafe had abused her—and several other young women. ‘Illusions shouldn’t be shattered like that.’
‘But everybody has to face reality some time.’
‘You think that’s reality?’ She was appalled. ‘So there’s no such thing as a committed, loving relationship?’
‘Happy ever after?’ Ethan shook his head. ‘No.’
His cynicism hurt, even though it shouldn’t have surprised her. But she could acknowledge a portion of truth in his words regarding that painful episode.
‘Maybe not at that age,’ she conceded. It had been her second year of university. She’d come from a small northern town and she’d been sheltered. Cosseted, really, by over-protective parents and brothers. As a result she’d been gullible and so easily dazzled. ‘I wasn’t looking for marriage. But there could have been some kindness and some fun. Not just being another number on his list.’ Not being anything but an object. It had been a complete game for him. And once he’d had what he wanted—her virginity—he’d gone on to the next. Another virgin. In the very same week.
Megan.
Only neither of them had known about the other. About all the others.
‘You wanted some respect?’
‘And honesty.’ He’d played them both together. And others. And once they’d found out, by talking at night at a party one night, their friendship had been forged. It was the one truly positive thing to have emerged from an otherwise crushing, humiliating situation. And it had led to WomanBWarned.
‘You’re really into honesty, huh?’ Ethan’s brown eyes burned darker.
‘There can be nothing without honesty.’ Certainly not trust. And without trust or honesty or respect there was nothing to support any kind of a relationship.
‘But you’re not honest.’ With careful deliberation he struck at her integrity.
‘Yes, I am.’
‘No.’ He shook his head, a wry smile softening the accusation. ‘You’re not. You hide behind your website. Behind your stature. All wide eyes—like you’re this little thing who has no control over the situations you find yourself in.’
Stunned, she stared at him—he was wrong. ‘That’s not true.’ She hated how people perceived her as weak because she was little. She certainly didn’t think she was weak herself. She spent her life proving she wasn’t. ‘I was tricked,’ she said. ‘But I admit my own responsibility, my own stupidity.’
‘So you won’t ever be that stupid again. And you’re out to prove it with your website.’
Nadia swallowed more wine to hide the mess of emotion inside her. He made it sound so simple. But there was much more to it. It went so much deeper. She stared down at the stem of her glass and breathed in. The oxygen hit, enhancing the flavour of the wine.
‘So tell me about working for Hammond. Is it as great as they all say?’ He diverted the conversation, his whole tone lighter.
She didn’t lighten to match. Too late she realised he was following his game plan—”get them to share”. He thought by inviting her to spill her guts to him she’d actually like him for it? Even more wrong.
‘It’s fine. What about your work? Do you enjoy it?’ It was his turn to talk. She’d find his weakness and play on that—his rules.
‘It’s fine.’ He echoed her words dismissively.
She looked up, finding his attention intensely focused on her. She couldn’t look away from him. Once more the room receded and there was nothing but his fire-filled deep eyes.
Her senses were swimming now—from the sugar, the warmth, the wine. Not the company. She shook her head to clear the confusion.
He broke the intensity, smiling at the waiter and signalling for the bill. ‘Time for us to depart.’
The cab ride home passed far more quickly than the one they’d taken earlier. This time she wasn’t bothered by the seemingly small space they shared in the back, and there was far less space between them now. She still felt the way his heart had pounded against her palm and her own heart beat faster. Exhilaration, anticipation. Because in moments he’d go for the goodnight kiss and she’d do a quick step to the side. She couldn’t wait.
He sat quiet, appearing to be deep in thought. She wondered what about. Hot and half floating, she turned towards him to read his expression better.
He glanced down and smiled.
It was like being tossed into an ice-water bath. Shocked, she blinked and looked again. But her first instinct had read it right—there was none of her desired outcome in his eyes now, none of that heat. Her dress, her wide eyes and smile were having no effect. Despite him saying earlier he thought she looked fantastic in the dress. They’d been meaningless words. Because right now he was clearly more amused by her than attracted. She leaned a little closer as the cab turned a corner, but still nothing. Just benign amusement—and withdrawal. She could feel him pulling away.
Why? Where was the move? Where was the “best sex” those women had talked about?
The cab pulled over and Ethan got out, paying him off. He glanced and saw her surprised expression. ‘I’ll see you to your door and then walk.’
‘I’m not inviting you in for coffee,’ she said, stupidly hurt by his impersonal politeness.
‘I’m not expecting that,’ he answered, as if he couldn’t care less.
And he couldn’t, could he? Anger surged again as she realised this guy was totally not interested. Why not? Why wasn’t he, when according to all reports he slayed any female who had the misfortune to slide across his path?
He rested his hand on her back as she turned to walk up her path. Anger burned hotter when she felt again the electric effect that one touch had. His hand was all she could feel. Impotent emotion clogged her throat as she blindly stepped forward.
But because she felt that touch so acutely she felt the stroke of his thumb upwards across her spine—a slow, intimate sweep. The smallest of signals.
Oh, thank goodness—there it was. Satisfaction slammed into her. The man couldn’t help himself. Finally he was going to go with some of his moves. She walked slowly now, enjoying the thrill of him moving so close behind her, smiling as she imagined her refusal scene. She’d keep it polite tonight, but playful too—to give him the illusion of possible success in the next date or two.
But in reality it was impossible. For sure.
She unlocked her door and flicked the switch just inside so light spilled from the room out onto the path. Then she turned to say goodbye, her smile impossible to contain.
He really was very tall up there, still in the shadows, looking down at her. She could tell he was smiling too—but suddenly she knew it wasn’t a lust-fuelled
