in his eyes that were always there, even when he smiled. Poor baby. She ran her fingertips through his fine, dark brown hair, hoping to comfort what could not be fixed.
“I get the door for you, Sarah.” Ali trotted ahead of her, his sneakers thumping on the tile. He gave the door a mighty push.
“Thanks, kiddo. You are one strong boy.” She complimented him as she sailed into the crisp overcast day and the busy sidewalk.
“I real strong now.” Ali beamed with pride. His little fingers wrapped around her hand, holding on so tight she could feel his need.
She held on tightly, too.
“Sarah, look!” Ali fastened his deep soulful eyes on a soldier in desert fatigues, who was walking down the sidewalk. The little boy turned on his heels to watch the infantryman stride away. “I’m gonna be a soldier and a doctor, just like Dr. Mike.”
Her knees shook with every step she took. How long did it take a broken heart to mend? How long for regret to fade away? It took all her strength to swallow her sadness and hide every bit of her pain. “You couldn’t pick a better man to be like.”
“I know.” Ali’s confidence was simple and unshakable.
Hers was not so sturdy. Life had not been the same without Mike. She missed him more than she cared to admit. Still, she had done her best to make something of her life without him.
She knew Ali’s next question would be about Dr. Mike, too. The boy was nothing if not persistent. Maybe it was best to try to distract him. “What color house lights should we buy?”
“Red.” He thought a minute, tilting his head to one side. “No, wait. I want blue.”
Sarah smiled. Ali lifted the sadness from her heart. Since this was his first American Christmas—and their first one together—she wanted to do it right. That’s what she had to concentrate on: what mattered to her now.
“Dr. Mike!” Ali ripped his hand from hers and barreled down the sidewalk, darting between families and a group of teenagers. He moved fast for a boy who’d just recovered from open-heart surgery! Sarah leaped after him, bags slapping against her knees as she caught up with him two steps before the busy intersection. She grabbed his hand, but Ali, the good, smart little boy he was, was already stopping on his own.
Before she could drag enough air past the panic clutching her throat and the stitch in her side to set him straight about running off like that, Ali jumped up and down, waving his free hand.
“Dr. Mike! There’s Dr. Mike!”
Sarah squinted across the street through the traffic searching the pedestrians for him. For Mike. It took only one second for her gaze to find him. Perhaps she would always recognize his straight, strong back and wide, dependable shoulders, his short, dark blond hair and that confident, lanky stride.
Mike. Her pulse ground to a halt. All the ways she’d fallen out of love with him paled next to all the reasons she had fallen in love with him. He hadn’t heard Ali’s call above the rush of traffic as he stopped to look at a shop’s window display. She could see his profile now; his handsome face was still the same with that square, honorable jaw and well-cut features.
What a relief it was to see him again. Her toes tingled with happiness, warring impossibly with her sadness. He was back safe, unharmed and whole.
Thank You, Lord. She sent the little prayer up with a piece of her heart. Just because Mike wasn’t hers anymore didn’t mean she couldn’t pray for him. His happiness was more important than her own—even now. She had tried to talk herself out of her feelings, but they hadn’t budged over the last year that he’d been away. Perhaps because of the way they had broken up right before he had gone off to war.
And now that she knew he was back home and unharmed, maybe she could let go of this sorrow. She planted her feet, hitched her purse back up on her shoulder and tightened her hold on Ali’s hand. The light chose that moment to change to yellow and on to red. The traffic slowed and quieted, and Ali’s “Dr. Mike!” must have reached the other side of the street because Mike looked up at the sound of his name. His eyes fastened to hers, just the way they used to do.
It was just nostalgia; that’s what she told herself as she jerked her gaze from his. That’s the only reason she could give to explain the startle in her heart that felt, impossibly, like joy at seeing him again.
I do not love him, she told herself. She wouldn’t let herself again. She wished Mike well and that was all, nothing more. She would walk Ali right over to Mike and prove it to him.
And to herself.
Sarah. Mike stared in disbelief and then in dread as she started heading his way, with Ali’s hand in hers. As she crossed the busy crosswalk, he had time to take her in. She looked different somehow. Her auburn hair was the same deep color and shone like silk in the afternoon sun. She was still as lovely as he’d remembered with her big blue eyes and soft, ready smile. She was wearing the wool coat she’d bought new around this time last year, right before they’d broken up. He couldn’t quite put his finger on what exactly was different, but everything about her appeared a little brighter.
At the back of his mind came a small voice, one he didn’t want to listen to. It was saying She looks so good to you because you missed her so much.
No, that was one voice he could not afford to listen to or encourage. He held his heart firm, dissolving away any lingering emotion. It was over and done with between him and Sarah. What he needed to focus on instead of their past was his little buddy—the boy he’d come to think of as a son.
It was a gift that Ali had come into his life. They’d had an instant connection in triage, when the nurse had called him over with worry in her eyes. Worry for a child caught in the middle of warfare. Ali had become his family over the last five months.
He thought of the paperwork he had on his truck seat, ready for his lawyer. Ali’s adoption papers. He wanted the little boy with everything he had left. This last tour had taken out a big chunk of him, but that didn’t matter now.
“Hello, Mike.” Sarah’s quiet, sweet voice could reach right in and grab hold of his heart if he let it.
“Hello, Sarah.” He couldn’t look at her. Time had not healed his wounds. He squared his shoulders, at a loss. Maybe he ought to just concentrate on Ali. The little dark-haired, dark-eyed boy was running toward him. True joy lit that little face.
“Dr. Mike! You came! You came!”
“Sure I did, buddy. Just like I promised. I didn’t forget you.” All the pain and exhaustion from this last year seemed to fade as the little boy flung out his arms and launched into the air. The world felt right as he caught the little fella in midair and swung him high before snuggling him to his chest.
Thin arms wrapped around Mike’s neck so tight, it hurt. He set the boy on the ground. “Let me get a look at you. You’re gettin’ big.”
“’Cuz I eat my veggies. But not broccoli.” He shook his head. The two of them shared a great mutual dislike of that green vegetable.
“I told Sarah you come.” Ali danced in place he was so happy. “You didn’t call. I waited and waited. There was no ringing.”
“Sorry about that.”
