you in the meantime.”
Any other day, any other week, he’d have taken her up on the offer. Not after tonight, though, and not after the decision he’d made.
“I’m sorry, Dani—” he started.
“It’s her, isn’t it?”
“What?”
“The woman with the baby last month. Is it yours?”
Van wiped his face with one hand. This was going to be harder than he thought.
Dani continued. “Of course it is. She’s a beautiful child and looks a lot like you. But it doesn’t have to be a problem. Everyone can be bought for the right price, Van. Even past lovers. Pay her mother to leave you alone. If you take care of that little problem, we can carry on as we’d always intended.”
“It’s not as simple as that,” Van said.
He explained, in the barest terms possible, about his arrangement with Sienna and about Kayla’s decision to have her sister’s children—his children.
“I don’t see the issue. There’s no need for you to be involved in their lives. She came to you for money—give it to her. Make the problem go away, Donovan.”
There was a steely tone to her voice that showed a side of her he’d always known lingered beneath her smooth surface. Dani Matthews did not like to be thwarted. Normally, neither did he. But something had changed in the course of tonight. Instincts he hadn’t known he possessed had pushed up through his barriers. Protective instincts, fatherly instincts.
His mother and father had abandoned him in the pursuit of their next alcoholic buzz. His adoptive parents had been of the “spare the rod and spoil the child” variety, never showing love, never admitting pride in any of his achievements and never, ever, giving encouragement. He wouldn’t be like any of them. He had a chance to make things right for his children. To give them the stability and the opportunities his upbringing had never given him.
“No,” he said firmly. “I’m sorry, Dani, but our engagement is off. I’m going to be a father.”
Kayla lay on the bed staring hard at the screen, willing the sonographer to find that second heartbeat.
“Please,” she implored. “Look again.”
“Kayla, one out of two is still a good thing. A lot of women don’t even progress this far,” the woman said encouragingly.
Even though she knew the odds, Kayla couldn’t help but feel a sense of devastation that one of her babies hadn’t made it.
“You’re right, of course,” she made herself say in response. “I’m very lucky.”
And she kept telling herself that all the way back to work, but the instant she walked into the rooms she shared in a holistic wellness clinic, she felt her hard-fought-for composure begin to crumble. Susan, her boss and fellow therapist at the clinic, took one look at her face and raced forward to envelop Kayla in her arms.
“Oh, hon. Is the news that bad?” she said, sympathetically rubbing Kayla’s back.
“I’ve lost one, Susan. The scan showed only one heartbeat.”
“That’s still good news, though, isn’t it? You have one baby?” Susan loosened her embrace and held Kayla at arm’s length. “Look at you. I thought all hope was gone.”
Kayla gave her a watery smile. “I’m sorry. I’m just... It’s just...”
She couldn’t find the words to describe the aching sense of loss—and guilt—that had settled deep inside her. Every time she argued with herself that there was nothing she could have done differently to ensure the success of both the embryos, she was reminded of that night with Zoe. Of how physical it had gotten. Of how all of that was her fault. She’d brought Zoe into her home, into her and Sienna’s world. She’d left her phone on the coffee table, open to her internet banking. She’d done nothing about changing her locks after Zoe had left.
No matter which way she looked at it, it was all her fault. She felt like she’d failed—both the lost embryo and her sister. The day had started bad enough when, before she left for the scan this morning, the papers had arrived from Van’s lawyers; he was suing for custody of Sienna. It felt like an assault on her right to be Sienna’s mother and the mother of the babies—no, baby, she corrected herself—she carried and she had nothing to fight it with. Tears filled her eyes and began to roll helplessly down her cheeks.
“There, there, hon. Don’t take on so. Must be all those hormones heading into overdrive in your body, hmm? Why don’t you take the rest of the day off? You only have three bookings. I’ll cover for you, okay?”
Kayla reluctantly accepted Susan’s offer. She couldn’t really afford to take extra time off, not when she was so financially strapped, but right now the idea of working and investing what was left of her energy into other people was just too much for her. Sienna was in day care until five o’clock, so she decided to let her stay there and headed to her apartment. She hadn’t been sleeping all that well. Maybe she could just take a nap and be in a better headspace to figure out her next move.
She’d been dozing on her sofa for a couple of hours when she heard a knock at the door. Still fuzzy, she got to her feet and rubbed her face, surprised to find her fingers came away wet. She’d been crying even in her sleep. The reality of it all hit her again. There was another knock at the door.
“Kayla? I know you’re in there.”
Van. Of course it had to be him. The man had the worst timing in the world. She dragged herself to the door.
“I’m not really up for visitors right now. Can you come another time?” she said at the solid block of wood with its shiny new locks.
“This isn’t a social call. Open up.”
“Look, if you’re wondering if your papers got here today, they did. Okay? You can go now.”
“I’m here because I’m worried about you,” he interrupted. “Now open the door.”
Kayla’s shoulders drooped as emotion swelled through her again. He was worried about her? Worried about his progeny, more like. She had no doubt that she was nothing but a peripheral thought to him. She slipped the chain off, twisted the two locks open and swung the door wide.
“Come in,” she said listlessly.
She hadn’t been kidding when she said she wasn’t up to visitors, but most especially, she wasn’t up to him. She turned her back on him to head back to the couch, but not before she caught a whiff of his cologne. Funny how it didn’t make her stomach twist and revolt like so many other scents already did. The fragrance summed him up perfectly with its masculine woody blend and sharper citrus top note, and it reminded her anew of the difference between this man and the boy she’d known growing up—not to mention the man she’d sought oblivion with after Sienna’s funeral.
Van came in, locked the door behind him and came to stand
