her was a wreck. Nick finding out about the boy hadn’t erased her worries, only replaced them with a different, larger set. What would Nick do next? He couldn’t be happy with her. Odds were decent he was furious with her. She might have guessed what the old Nick would have done, but this new man? No idea. She’d be lucky if he didn’t sue her into oblivion, most likely.
She didn’t have to wait long to get an answer to that particular question. Nick walked in at his regular nine o’clock and gave her the same look he’d given her all last week. Just seeing him again made her heart beat faster. But this time, he added, “Ms. Rattling Blanket, I’d like to see you in my office.”
Damn it. At least he wasn’t going to keep her on pins and needles the whole day. She grabbed a notepad and a pen and began the long walk back to his broom closet. The whole time, her stomach did flips. She knew he could grind her into the dust if he wanted to. He was too good a lawyer and had more money than she ever would. Tanya didn’t want to go down without a fight, but she was outclassed and outgunned, and she knew it. She kept telling herself that she had to protect Bear from Nick’s abandonment, but she knew deep inside that she had to protect herself.
She wished she hadn’t kissed him, no matter how wonderful that kiss had been. By letting him past that first physical barrier, she’d reminded herself in Technicolor of how Nick had always made her feel, of how he could still make her feel. The danger was, she still wanted that feeling. One stupid kiss was more than enough to show her that she still wanted Nick.
Nick was seated behind his desk. She was glad to sit in the chair because her knees didn’t feel like they were up to the task of holding her upright. “Yes?”
Nick didn’t look up. Instead, he kept reading a huge file and taking notes in the margins. “What’s wrong with Bear?” There wasn’t a trace of tenderness in his voice.
Dread started flipping around in her belly with the nerves. Tanya knew what this was. “You’ll find out one way or another, but you’ll feel better if I told you, right?”
Nick’s pen stopped moving, but he still didn’t look at her. Tanya preferred it that way—not seeing his eyes made it easier to remember that she didn’t know this man. “That is correct.”
She sat there, willing her knees to stop knocking. Nick turned a page, almost as if he’d forgotten she was there. A flash of anger made Tanya furious. She was sick and tired of being forgotten by Nick Longhair. By God, she would make sure he’d never forget her again.
“The doctor says there’s a problem with his ears. He gets a lot of ear infections, and he might be completely deaf. There’s something wrong with his vocal cords, too.” She paused, realizing how bad this must all sound. But she had Nick’s attention now. He’d set his pen down and was watching her. “That’s why he sleeps in the bed with me. I was nursing him, and he doesn’t cry. He just sort of…shakes. I was afraid I’d sleep through it when he really needed me.” Good Lord, that sounded even worse. What kind of mother couldn’t get her kid medical care? What kind of mother didn’t even have a separate bed for her baby? The kind that couldn’t take care of her child. The kind that shouldn’t have custody. “I’m not a bad mother,” she hurried to add, feeling stupid that she’d just given Nick all sorts of ammunition to use against her—if he wanted to.
Did he want to?
Nick shut his eyes, looking disgusted. With her. “How old is he?”
This was it—the ultimate way to make sure that Nick would always remember her. “He was only five pounds, seven ounces when he was born, but he was two weeks late.” She swallowed, trying to maintain a level of professionalism when the situation was anything but. Nick was a smart guy. She was willing to bet he could do the simple math of pregnancy and age in his head. “He’ll be one next week.”
The air in the small office chilled, as if frost was settling around them. Nick rubbed the bridge of his nose, then ran his hands through his still-too-short hair. He looked upset. Of course, if anyone made “upset” look good, it was Nick. Even now, he wore his angst handsomely.
Well, he could just be upset. Tanya held her ground. In a way, it was a relief to have the weight of the secret off her shoulders. But she was just too terrified of what Nick would do next to enjoy it.
Of course, he didn’t do any of the worst-case scenarios that Tanya had envisioned. Instead of blowing up, accusing her of child neglect or threatening her with a lengthy custody battle, Nick pushed his reading material aside and pulled out a leather-bound journal and a gold pen. Of course he had a gold pen. He probably had gold toothbrushes and a gold towel bar, just to impress his rich lawyer buddies. “Besides a crib, what else does Bear need?”
He sounded tired, but not as upset as he had looked moments before. That was the most unusual thing of all. At least Tanya had been correct in assuming she had no idea what Nick would do next. It was nice to be right about something. “He doesn’t really—”
Nick cut her off with a wave of his hand. “Yes, he does. He’s a year old now, and I’m sure that if he needs to wake you up, he’ll throw something at you.”
Tanya took a deep breath. She didn’t want to lose her temper. Just because he wasn’t upset now didn’t mean he wouldn’t come after her later, and Nick could use an outburst to paint her as a violent woman in court. “As I was saying, he doesn’t really need a crib. He’ll be able to crawl out of that soon. A toddler bed would be better.”
Now Nick did look up at her, half a smile on his face making him look devastatingly handsome. This would be so much easier if he wasn’t the man of her dreams—physically, at least. She wished she could find him disgusting or repulsive, but no. He had to be some sort of demigod over there. Tanya refused to buckle to his good looks. She would not get hysterical, furious—or turned on. “Good point. What else does he need? I want to get him some things for his birthday.”
“We’re fine, really.” What Bear really needed was the kind of stuff that one didn’t wrap up in bright, shiny paper with a bow—quality day care, fresh fruits and vegetables, medical care. None of those things made for a fun birthday party.
“I’ll get him a car seat for my car,” Nick said, pointedly ignoring her. Tanya saw that her plan to make sure Nick never forgot her again had instantly failed. He had no interest in her. His only concern was the boy. That realization made the dread in her stomach churn at an even faster rate. “He’s beyond one of those walker things…maybe there’s a baby store in Sioux Falls? I’ll check that out this weekend.”
“You don’t have to do that.” More to the point, she didn’t want him to do that. Was he trying to buy her off? She didn’t want to be in his debt. Owing Nick would be almost the same thing as being owned by Nick. She didn’t want to become another thing he owned.
“Yes, I do. He’s my son, isn’t he?” It wasn’t a question, not really. She realized he was trying to get her to say the words out loud. She refused to give him the satisfaction. Nick let his not-question hang for a few moments before he went on, “It’s my responsibility to take care of him.”
Tanya cringed at the implied criticism. What, did he not like the job she’d been doing? Of course not. Nothing in her world was ever good enough for Nick Longhair. “You’re a little late to this party. He’s almost one.”
“Because you didn’t tell me. I’m not a psychic, you know.”
He was going to blame this on her? Fat chance. The surge of anger pushed aside the dread. It felt good. Anger was power. She might
