he said, but glad for the reminder to put her needs first.
“And we should go back soon. The baby...”
“Is sleeping. With my mother watching and a nanny as backup.” He frowned, shaking his head. “Because I would never trust my mother as the sole caregiver of a child. Our child.”
“That’s sad.”
“I meant it as a joke.” Sorta.
“Really? Because I don’t think it’s funny. Is that why you have the nanny? Because you don’t trust me?”
He could hear her winding up again.
“I trust you with our child, unequivocally. Truly, I only want you to rest.” They needed the extra help right now until things returned to a normal routine. Because it had to return to normal. He refused to accept the possibility he could lose the family they had created for their son.
“You’re maxed out, as well.”
He rubbed the back of his neck and didn’t answer.
Didn’t quite look at her.
She ran her hand slowly along his shoulders. Her fingers lightly tracing circles down his back, reigniting his desire. She inched closer, so her head was inches from his. Her voice lowered, filling with concern. With understanding.
“And having your mother here stresses you more.”
He reached out, closing the distance between them. Hand to her cheek, he stroked her skin with his thumb. She sighed into his hand, her breath warm against him. Sexy and moist. He wanted her so damn much.
“Damn it, Alaina, you always did read me well, right from the start.”
Unable to resist a taste, just this one moment to connect with his wife again, Porter leaned in to kiss her.
The warmth of his lips sent an electric pulse through her, and she hungered for more. His hand wound into her hair. Alaina’s own body melted into his as she pressed herself against his hard, muscled chest.
The kiss deepened, mouths opening, hands stroking. Alaina’s desire became more urgent as she tasted a hint of raspberries on his tongue. He angled her closer, tongue exploring. Testing. Her fingers curled into the fine texture of his shirt. Everything about him drew her, from the way he looked at her to the way he made her smile. From the way he touched her to the care he gave their child.
Right now, she could easily envision how she’d fallen in love with this man and married him. She ached to remember the passionate experiences they’d shared, words they’d exchanged. Anything. And she hated that he had it all and she had nothing.
But she reveled in how hard he was working to win her over. That thrilled her and excited her—
From somewhere outside of this wonderful moment, she heard the distinctive hum of a speedboat skidding across the water. It snapped her to her senses. Reminded her of the fact she was kissing a man she didn’t really know, a man she didn’t fully trust, which complicated her feelings even more.
She pushed against his chest. Broke the kiss and connection before looking shyly at him.
She laughed self-consciously. “I shouldn’t have done that. You have an amnesiac wife and a new baby and here I am making a move on you.”
He burst out laughing, the sound rolling out on the ocean breeze. He laughed again, his head falling and broad shoulders shaking. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he said, “God, woman, you turn me inside out. You always have.”
The words sent a shiver through her every bit as arousing as his kiss had been. There was emotion behind the words.
Had there been emotion in his touch, as well? She didn’t trust her judgment yet.
The wind blew her hair across her face and she swept it away again. “I’m sorry. I, um, didn’t mean to send mixed signals and mislead you—”
He traced her lips. “You turning me inside out has always been a good thing. We may have argued about a lot of issues, but we always connected on a physical level.” He tapped her lips a final time. “But I meant it when I said I wouldn’t pressure you to take this faster than you want to take it.”
“That’s good to know.” She shot to her feet restlessly, gathering up their lunch and putting it back in the basket. “The attraction between us is...problematic.”
An urgency to move filled her. They needed to get back to the baby, anyway. She gathered more remnants of the picnic, sliding the lids onto the various containers. But not before she snagged another piece of brie and popped it into her mouth. She reveled in the creamy texture, using the food-induced silence to steady herself.
“We were married for years,” he said into the silence. “Even if your brain doesn’t remember, I believe that on some level your body does. We’ll take things slowly until your mind catches up.” He offered her another piece of dark chocolate. Her fingertips gingerly brushed his as she took it. Another confusing jolt of desire burst through her.
“What if my mind doesn’t ever catch up?”
A devilish smile spread across his lips. “Then we’ll start over.”
“And what if I’m not the same woman I was?” In her chest, her heart pounded. Tension rose again, unmistakable.
“You are the woman I met five years ago.”
She left the hammock, placing the basket on the chair and stacking the containers inside. “But I’m not. I recall what I was like then. It feels like it just happened. But the past week, waking up and finding out that I’m married and a mother and I have this whole chunk of life I lived? That was a surprise. That’s changed me. Immeasurably.”
“Sure, of course it did.”
“You say that. But I don’t think you’re hearing me. Not really. You seem to want to pick up where we left off.”
On a certain level, she could understand that desire. On the logical level. But the emotional one—that was an entirely different scenario. How could she make him understand how overwhelming all of this was?
His jaw flexed and he left the hammock, helping her pack their meal, kneeling beside her. “I’m trying to help you remember, like you asked.”
“I don’t believe that. You want me to be the woman you married. To have our lives back the way they were.”
He snorted on a dark laugh. “You couldn’t be further from the truth.”
She went still, sagging back to sit on her butt in the sand. A chill settled in her stomach. “So things weren’t great between us.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“When I asked you if we argued a lot, you answered that we exchanged words and had great make-up sex.”
“We
