a half metres in height. It was cool and damp inside, but the floor was dry. She had the strange sensation as she gazed out at the waves, as if she were in a house floating above the sea.
Benjamin emptied his backpack. Some kindling, a frying pan, and matches, as well as some cheese, bread, and fruit he’d begged from the kitchen. They got a fire going and grilled chanterelle sandwiches over the fire. They had to eat with their fingers — he’d forgotten cutlery. They chatted nonstop, then sat quietly for a while and gazed out at the sea and the sky, which still hadn’t cleared. Then the fire died out and the cave grew chilly.
‘Now we’re going to eat dinner in the village,’ he said. ‘We’re going to Fritjof’s. It’s crab season, and theirs is the best.’
It was starting to get dark, so they went to the village by the road.
For a while, they didn’t say anything as they walked. She could hardly make out his face in the dim twilight, but she got the sense that he was brooding about something. His arm had been around her, but he let it slide off her shoulders. She was just about to ask what was on his mind when they arrived at the pub.
Inside, in the warm light, he seemed normal again. He laughed at her cold, blue fingers and warmed them for her. He joked with the waitress and ordered so much crab and so many sides that there was hardly room on the table. His hair glowed in the light from the candle; it almost looked like it had caught fire.
She asked about the renovations and their lack of sleep, what he thought of it all.
‘We wouldn’t have completed the renovations if Franz hadn’t put his foot down,’ he said firmly.
‘So you’re a fanatical follower?’
‘Maybe. I mean, ViaTerra is my family. The only family I have.’
‘But that doesn’t mean everything about it is perfect, does it?’
‘You’re so new, Sofia. You’ll get used to it. The purpose is what matters.’
That same shadow fell across his face again.
‘What are you thinking about?’
‘Nothing.’
‘Come on, out with it. I can tell something’s up.’
He cleared his throat, looking embarrassed.
‘Well, it’s just, you know . . . if you’re a couple, at ViaTerra, the expectation is that you’ll, um, move in together.’
‘Move in together?’
‘I just want to make sure you know the rules before we start anything. It seems like no one explained them to you.’
‘What rules?’
‘You can only have sex if you live together or you’re married.’
‘Who said anything about sex?’
‘Don’t make this even harder for me.’
‘What kind of moron thought up that rule?’
Benjamin laughed.
‘Franz, probably. But don’t you see what it would be like in such a small group, if everyone was sleeping with everyone else all the time?’
She considered it for a moment. This was all so exciting. It was new and unusual and a little titillating, and for some strange reason she liked it.
‘But just because there are rules doesn’t mean you can’t bend them a little sometimes, right?’
He nodded in agreement as if they had just made a pact.
*
It was totally dark when they left the pub. A half-moon shined down on them from the clear sky. They could see their breath, and the chilly air nipped at their cheeks. She flipped up her collar and buried her hands in her jacket pockets. Benjamin put his arm around her shoulders again.
The walk to ViaTerra was long, but it passed quickly. She leaned against him, snuggling into his chest now and then.
Sten was on guard at the gate, and he waved them in distractedly. The wind was still beyond the thick walls.
The windows of the manor house were bright in the darkness. When Sofia looked up, she thought she could see a light on in the attic — then she remembered that the attic was unfit for use. A moment later the light had vanished and she decided she must have been seeing things.
*
They bent the rules just a few weeks later. They never discussed it, but the tension between them had risen until his visits to the library became unbearable.
It was their day off, and he met her by the gate. They didn’t even talk about where to go — their feet just carried them to the cottage and their hands were linked as if frozen by a constant electric current. She moved right up next to him for the last little bit of the journey and noticed that his breathing was already faintly erratic and heavy.
She’d had good and bad sex before, but never forbidden sex, so this was something new. She walked ahead of him into the cottage and right away he grabbed her from behind, lifting her loose hair and kissing her tenderly on the back of the neck. He nibbled at her earlobe and tried to get his hands in under her clothes, but one hand got stuck between the buttons. She pulled him to the kitchen bench and they collapsed onto it, eager but awkward in all their outerwear. They rolled onto the rag rug on the floor. On the way down she accidentally grabbed hold of the lace tablecloth and a candlestick came flying by, narrowly missing Benjamin’s head. They burst into laughter but managed to pull off each other’s clothing: jackets, boots, gloves, pants, and sweaters ended up in one big pile that grew as they gasped and howled in amusement.
This is how it should be the first time, she thought. Wild and joyful. Then she thought about what would happen if someone came into the cottage and discovered them on the floor — but it wouldn’t have mattered, not even if it was Oswald himself. It was like they were a runaway train, and no one could stop them.
Afterwards, as they lay twined together on the rag rug, she decided that forbidden sex blew everything else out of the water.
She rested her head against his shoulder and they lay like that for a long time. Completely devoid of energy, drained.
‘What’s the punishment?’ she asked.
‘The punishment?’
‘Yes, for what we did.’
‘What do you mean, what we did?’
‘Stop messing with me!’
‘Well, it’s pretty bad. I mean, you get shunned from the group. Dismissed. Sent back to the mainland.’
‘No way! Just for having sex without living together?’
‘That’s right. But we don’t have to tell anyone, do we? It’s between us.’
She
