A shadow crossed her face.
“Yes.” He paused at her expression. “What is it?”
She closed her eyes for a second. “I feel as if I’ve been in this deep, dark hole and I’ve suddenly glimpsed a sliver of light. But I’m afraid of the brightness and what it will reveal. Will it burn me? Will it scar me further? Maybe it’s safer to bury myself in the hole where I can’t be hurt again. After all, someone tried to kill me.”
Walking to her, he looked into her troubled eyes. He was there when they brought her in with scars on her back from being beaten repeatedly. And he was there when the tests revealed a bullet in her head. After some investigation they determined that the people in the cult hadn’t shot her. Someone else had. He was with her through all those long weeks in the hospital when he didn’t think she’d ever make it back from the abuse she’d suffered. He was there to prepare her to testify against the cult members, but when the cult leader died, the others took a plea bargain. He was relieved that she wouldn’t have to go through a trial, but she’d been ready to do whatever was necessary to keep them behind bars. Belle Doe wasn’t a quitter. She was a fighter, a survivor—that’s why she was still alive.
“You survived because you have more strength than anyone I’ve ever met. Whatever we find out about your life, you’ll be able to handle. There’s no doubt in my mind. The fear is just a part of it. You wouldn’t be human if you weren’t afraid of the unknown. We all are.”
Her eyes glistened. “I don’t think you’re afraid of anything.”
Losing you. He’d been afraid of that for a long time now, and it was happening. He’d handle it just as she would—with courage.
“Ah, Belle. Don’t put me on a pedestal.”
There was silence for a moment.
“Give Dr. Oliver a call. She’ll be able to reassure you,” he finally said.
She nodded, her eyes catching his. “I’ll never be able to thank you for everything you’ve done for me.”
“Just be happy—that’s what I want for you.” He meant every word, even if that happiness wasn’t with him. “I better get going so I can make it happen.”
“Caleb.” She stopped him.
He turned to look at her and wished he hadn’t. Her sad eyes, her sweet face twisted his gut.
“I’m sorry you got recruited for another escort job.”
He grinned. “Oh. I’m looking forward to this. I want to see the fool who buys that hat.” He was being flippant, but it would be the last time that he’d go anywhere with Belle on his arm. She would soon become Josie—a completely different person.
She grinned back. “It should be fun.”
“It will be. We’ll dance the night away—probably the last time that I’ll be able to call you Belle.”
A pregnant pause followed his words; and emotions they’d been denying simmered close to the surface.
“You can always call me Belle. Right now Josie doesn’t seem quite right.”
“But it will.” They both knew that and they both were feeling that pang of change.
“Maybe.” Her eyes held his. “You’ll call as soon as you find out something?”
“Yes, and try not to worry.” He turned and walked out before his strength gave way.
Outside he took a long breath. Josie Marie Beckett. Who are you? Do you have a husband, a lover waiting for you? Those two questions were uppermost in his mind and he hated himself for that selfish reaction. He got in his car and headed for his office to find out the truth about Belle, putting his emotions aside and concentrating on her and her future.
He just wished he could get rid of the knot in his stomach, a knot that told him he was about to lose everything he’d ever wanted. But he would deal with it like a man—the man she wanted him to be. If he preached to himself long enough and hard enough, he might be able to pull it off.
BELLE IMMEDIATELY CALLED Dr. Oliver and told her about the memory. As Caleb had said, Dr. Oliver reassured her and Belle felt better knowing that finally her memory was returning. She held her name in her heart like a sacred pledge, so afraid it was going to slip away like the rest of her memories. Although she had told Caleb, and he’d make sure her future would now unfold.
She would face the light and the fears inside her. It was long overdue. Someone had put a bullet in her head and left her on the streets of Austin to die. Who had caused her all this misery? And who had hated her that much? No matter how hard it would be, Caleb would help her find the truth. It was time to stop being afraid and embrace her life—whatever it had been.
She knew she was a good person and made friends easily. Caroline Coltrane, the wife of Eli, the ranger who’d rescued her, was a very good friend, and her sister, Grace, was, too. They met for lunch every now and then and Belle enjoyed their company and their friendship. She wondered what type of friends she had in her old life. Belle was beginning to drive herself crazy with all the wondering, so she went in search of Ms. Gertie. After all, she did have a job. Some days that was hard to remember because Ms. Gertie tended to pamper her. But she wasn’t an invalid and she’d made that plain from the start.
She found Gertie in the pool, floating and relaxing. Harry paddled around entertaining her. Prissy and Prudy lay on the tiled floor watching, but not daring to get in the water. The pool and the hot tub were enclosed, so Gertie swam daily year-round.
“Do you need me to do anything, Ms. Gertie?” she asked.
Instead of responding, she answered with a question. “Did you have a nice visit with Caleb?”
“Yes.” She sat in a pool chair and Prissy jumped onto her lap. She stroked the cat for a moment, listening to her purr. “I wasn’t aware you’d called him to be our escort for tomorrow night.”
“If I’d told you, you would have said not to bother him. But it’s unseemly for a woman to attend functions without a male escort.” She paused, splashing water on Harry. “And I’ve seen the way you look at him.”
Belle shifted uncomfortably. “Ms. Gertie, you know I can’t get involved with anyone. I don’t know who I am and that would be so unfair to Caleb.”
“Oh, Belle, darlin’. That doesn’t keep the heart from getting involved.”
She knew that all too well. But now that she knew her name, her feelings would change. Wouldn’t they? That’s what she’d learned in her sessions. Though her feelings for Caleb seemed strong now, once her memory fully returned those emotions would lose their strength. Her feelings for Caleb were based on her fears and insecurities. He was her security blanket.
In her mind, she recognized the logic of that. In her heart she wasn’t so sure. Caleb, with his kind and gentle ways, was a part of her. She knew his smile, that crooked grin and the way his brows knitted together when he was deep in thought. But most of all she knew his voice—that deep soothing tone that had brought her so much comfort. And his touch. For so long she jumped if anyone touched her.
Slowly and surely Caleb’s gentle
