His mind unraveled with the need to crush her back, breathe her in so he could breathe again. He struggled not to bury his aching hands in her hair, not to drag her face to his and take of her breath. His lips went numb, needing to feel hers, just one last time….
As if sensing his impending capitulation, she surged up, pulled his head down and stormed his face in kisses.
Temptation tightened around his throat like a noose. His hands moved without volition.
They stopped before they closed around her, his body going rigid as if guarding against a blow as what she’d been reiterating in that tremulous, strangled voice sank into his fogged awareness.
“My love, my love.”
Barely suppressing a roar, he clamped her arms before she sucked him dry of will and coherence.
She reluctantly let him separate them, raised the face that had embodied his desires and hopes. Her heavenly eyes were drowning in those masterfully feigned emotions.
“Oh, darling, you’re all right.” She hugged him again, seamlessly changing from overwrought relief to agitated curiosity. “I went insane when you answered none of my calls. I thought something … terrible must have happened.”
So that was her strategy. To play innocent to the last.
“Nothing happened.”
Was that his voice? That inhuman rasp?
Pretending not to notice the ice that encased him, dread entered the eyes that hid her soullessness behind that facade of guilelessness. “Did you have another breach? Did your security isolate you this time until they could identify the leak?”
Was she that audacious? Or did she believe she was too ingenious to be exposed? If she were still secure in his obliviousness, she wouldn’t conceive of any other reason he’d stay away while his security team investigated how his research results kept being leaked in spite of their measures.
Good. He preferred to play it that way. It gave him the perfect opportunity to play the misdirection card.
“There haven’t been any breaches.” He pretended a calm that had to be his greatest acting effort. “Ever.”
Momentary relief was chased away with deepening confusion. “But you told me …” She stopped, at a loss for real this time.
Si, that was a genuine reaction at last. For he had told her—every detail of the incidents and the upheavals he’d suffered as his life’s work was being systematically stolen. And she’d pretended such anguish at his losses, at her helplessness to help him.
“Nothing I told you was true. I let decoy results get leaked. I had great pleasure imagining the spies’ reactions when they realized that, not to mention imagining their punishment for delivering useless info. No one knows where or what my real results are. They’re safe until I’m ready to disclose them.”
Every word was a lie. But he hoped she’d relay those lies to her recruiters, hopefully making them discard it without testing it and finding out it was the real deal.
That chameleon hid her shock, seamlessly performing uncertainty with hurt hovering at its edges. “That’s fantastic … but … why didn’t you tell me that? You thought you were being monitored? Even … here?” She hugged herself, as if to ward off invasive eyes. “But a simple note would have saved me endless anguish, and I would have acted my part for the spies.”
He gritted his teeth. “Everyone got the version I needed them to believe, so my opponents would believe it along with them. Only my most trusted people got the truth.”
She stilled. As if afraid to let his words sink in. “And I’m not among those?”
Searing relief scalded through him, that she’d finally given him the opening to vent some antipathy. “How could you be? You were supposed to be a brief liaison, but you were too clingy and I had no time for the hassle of terminating things with you. Not before I found an as-convenient replacement, anyway.”
If he could believe anything from her anymore, he would have thought his words had stabbed her through the heart.
“R-replacement …?”
His lips twisted. “With my schedule, I can only afford sexual partners who jump at my commands. That’s why you were so convenient, being so … compliant. But such accommodating lovers are hard to come by. I let one go when I find another. As I have.”
Hurt blossomed in her eyes like ink through turquoise waters. “It wasn’t like that between us …”
“What did you think it was? Some grand love affair? Whatever gave you that impression?”
Her lips shook, her voice now a choking tremolo. “You did … You said you loved me….”
“I loved your … performance. You did learn to please me exceptionally well. But even such a … malleable sex partner only … keeps up my interest for a short while.”
“Was that all I am … was … to you? A sex partner?”
His heart quivered with the effort to superimpose the truth over her overwhelming act. “No. You’re right. A partner indicates a somewhat significant liaison. Ours certainly wasn’t that. Don’t tell me that wasn’t clear from day one.”
He could have sworn his words hacked her like a dull blade. If he didn’t have proof of her perfidy, the agony she simulated would have torn down his defenses. Its perfection only numbed him now, turning his heart to stone.
He wanted her to rant and rave and shed fake tears, giving him the pretext to tear harder into her. She only stared at him, tears a precarious ripple in her eclipsed eyes.
Then she whispered, “If—if this is a joke, please, stop …”
“Whoa. Did you actually believe you were more to me than a convenient lay?”
She jerked as if he’d backhanded her. His trembling hold on restraint slipped another notch. He had to get this over with before he started to rant, exposing the truth.
“I should have known you wouldn’t take the abundant hints. From the way you believed my every word it was clear you lack any astuteness. You sure didn’t become my executive projects manager through merit. But you’re starting to anger me, acting as if I owe you anything. I already paid for your time and services with far more than either was worth.”
Her tears finally overflowed.
They streaked her hectic cheeks in pale tracks, melting the last of his sanity, making him snarl, “Next time a man walks away, let him. If you’d rather not hear the truth about how worthless you were to him….”
“Stop … please …” Her hands rose, as if to block blows. “I know what I felt from you … it was real and intense. If—if you no longer feel this way, just leave me my memories….”
“Is that obliviousness or just obnoxiousness? Seems you’ve forgotten who I am, and don’t know the caliber of women I’m used to. But it’s not
