A Too Convenient Marriage. Georgie Lee

      ‘I should like that.’ With a polite curtsy which made her light-gold curls bob, Mrs Fairley took her leave.

      Susanna slipped on her banyan and began to pace. It boded well that Mrs Fairley thought highly of Mr Connor. During the fittings in which Lady Rockland had been absent, Susanna had shared many confidences with the young woman who understood as well as Susanna what it was like to be looked down on by a duchess. The modiste was the closest person to a friend Susanna possessed. Lady Rockland had seen to it there were no other people on whom Susanna could hang the title.

      Despite the fact she’d lived with the Rocklands since her mother’s death, they’d only grudgingly treated her as a member of the family within their home. Outside of it, she was virtually ignored. At the few teas or country parties she’d been allowed to attend, the duchess had always given her strict instructions to keep her mouth shut and make herself as invisible as possible. It wasn’t the most ideal way to forge friendships with other young ladies, though most daughters of the other country families didn’t deign to talk to her. They were too afraid the taint of bastard would rub off on them to attempt so much as a discussion of the weather with Susanna.

      She went to the wardrobe and began to rifle through her dresses, looking for one to wear for tonight’s ride, as eager to see Mr Connor as she was to escape this house for an hour or two. She’d thought of little besides him since he’d taken his leave this morning, and had eaten even less at nuncheon than she’d been able to choke down over the last two weeks. It wasn’t just his commanding presence or the deep roll of his voice, which was both powerful and playful, but what the agreement they’d entered into meant. She’d be his wife, his property as much as a helpmate in his business.

      Her body would be his, though she doubted he’d fall on her as Lord Howsham had done in the forest at Rockland Place. There’d been something distasteful in Lord Howsham’s pressing need for intimacy and the speed with which he’d slaked his lust and left her confused and wanting. Mr Connor wouldn’t rush through the bedding; she’d felt it in the smooth slide of his hand beneath hers, the gentle pause when his lips had met the back of her hand and the drawing humour in his eyes which had invited her, instead of forcing her, to think of what was to come.

      She clutched the dress to her chest, shivering at the idea of his broad chest and flat stomach against her skin, wondering what it would be like to linger with him in the dark, the sheets tangled around them as their bodies melded together. Though there was more to a marriage than the bedchamber to consider. The hours between rising and sleep were long ones in which a man could ignore his wife, much as Lord Rockland did to his, giving rise to a bitterness of spirit Susanna had felt the brunt of many times.

      She sagged down onto the edge of her bed, releasing her tight grip on the muslin. With any luck, the isolation she’d known at Lady Rockland’s hands and the indifference of her father were about to end, assuming Susanna hadn’t made a grave mistake. Even if she’d chosen poorly and Mr Connor turned into a monster, she’d have to stand beside him at the altar or find herself penniless on the London streets.

      Rising, she rang the bell for her lady’s maid, ready to dress and face her intended. This wasn’t a poor choice, but the best she could make. She’d have a home of her own and a respectable husband and at last a station in society where people couldn’t look down on her or whisper behind her back. She’d already proven to Mr Connor she could be useful to him and had gained something of his admiration. If he never grew to love her, or even cherish her, she’d at least earn his respect. It was the most a bastard like her could hope for in a marriage. If something more came of their union, it would be a gift of providence, although providence had never been so generous to her before.